(Closed) Is it rude to ask where guests are staying?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

I think its quite odd. If I got an invitation and they asked where I was staying I would think there was some kind of benefit to stay where the couple suggested. I think when you get back the rsvps just contact your guests and bring it up in convo. I dont know how many guests you are having but I am a more…invite people close to you. It might be easier to put it on the RSVP but it seems a bit icky

Post # 3
Member
2443 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t think it’s rude! I asked that on the RSVP section of our website and no one had a problem with it. I wouldn’t think twice about it if I was a guest.

Post # 4
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I wouldn’t think it’s rude, but I would think it’s a little strange without know why. I don’t know of any other way other than word of mouth to find out where people are staying.

Post # 5
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

As it’s only 30 guests I would think it’s easy enough to just call once you’ve received the RSVP and ask then – people may put off RSVPing if it includes a question about where they’re staying if they aren’t thinking about booking it in for a while. We asked all 65 of our guests as we were organising a bus to and from the venue and it wasn’t hard between seeing them in person and calling/messaging. Maybe cumulative of 2 hours of contacting? 

Post # 6
Member
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t think it’s rude but I’m not sure that’s the best way to go about asking for that info. I would just call them and say something about how you need to know because there will be a surprise waiting for them. Or you could just be like “oh I was just calling to make sure you were able to find accomodations…?” so it’s more subtle?

Post # 7
Member
5151 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
elleodee1:  I would not ask. If they don’t stay at the hotel youve blocked rooms at, they don’t get a welcome bag. Trust me, you don’t and won’t want to be driving all around dropping off bags. I wouldn’t expect a welcome bag (well, at all) but definitely not if I booked some random hotel. 

Post # 8
Member
8029 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would think you were a creeper. I don’t understand this whole “welcome bag” thing anyway- seems unnecessary to me.

Post # 11
Member
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your guests may not know where they are staying when they send in the rsvp card so would just leave it blank. I don’t think you will get the information you are looking for.

Post # 12
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s rude, but it’s hard enough getting RSVPs back as it is without adding another variable.  Doing this puts you at risk of guests who would otherwise have returned their RSVP immediately putting it aside with the intention of returning it once they know where they’re staying, and then forgetting about it.

Post # 13
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

I dont think its rude at all

Post # 14
Member
14013 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I agree that this info should not go on an RSVP reply. Just call and ask closer to the time. Most people mention that  they will have something waiting for the guest at the hotel.  This is not at all unusual.

Post # 15
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think it’s awkward rather than rude. I would just do welcome bags only for those who booked into your arranged block in the lodge. It will be a pain anyway to go to 4 or 5 hotels dropping off bags and many hotels will not distribute bags to guests if you didn’t get the block through them. The lodge can tell you who booked from your block.

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