Post # 1
We are having a sort of destination wedding – 3 hours away from the city at a beautiful lodge retreat in the wine country.
There is absolutely loads of accommodation all around the area.
We have given information on discounted rates at the lodge, and I know that more than half of our 30 guests will stay there.
However, there will be some I imagine, that are not staying at the lodge, (its quite expensive so I totally understand if people want to stay at alternative locations, there are plenty around and they are cheaper.)
I would like to put on the RSVP Card a line that asks where they are staying. This is primarily for the Welcome bags (which I am doing as a thank you to my guests and im really excited about it!)
My question is, is it rude or bad etiquette to ask where the guests are staying on the RSVP card?
It will be soo much easier for me if I know, so I can distribute the welcome bags quickly and efficiently.
As my guests don’t know about the welcome bags, will they be like… “why does she want to know that?”
I also think it’s a good prompt for people to book their accommodation when they RSVP.
Post # 2
- Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France
I think its quite odd. If I got an invitation and they asked where I was staying I would think there was some kind of benefit to stay where the couple suggested. I think when you get back the rsvps just contact your guests and bring it up in convo. I dont know how many guests you are having but I am a more…invite people close to you. It might be easier to put it on the RSVP but it seems a bit icky
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s rude! I asked that on the RSVP section of our website and no one had a problem with it. I wouldn’t think twice about it if I was a guest.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t think it’s rude, but I would think it’s a little strange without know why. I don’t know of any other way other than word of mouth to find out where people are staying.
Post # 5
As it’s only 30 guests I would think it’s easy enough to just call once you’ve received the RSVP and ask then – people may put off RSVPing if it includes a question about where they’re staying if they aren’t thinking about booking it in for a while. We asked all 65 of our guests as we were organising a bus to and from the venue and it wasn’t hard between seeing them in person and calling/messaging. Maybe cumulative of 2 hours of contacting?
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s rude but I’m not sure that’s the best way to go about asking for that info. I would just call them and say something about how you need to know because there will be a surprise waiting for them. Or you could just be like “oh I was just calling to make sure you were able to find accomodations…?” so it’s more subtle?
Post # 7
I would not ask. If they don’t stay at the hotel youve blocked rooms at, they don’t get a welcome bag. Trust me, you don’t and won’t want to be driving all around dropping off bags. I wouldn’t expect a welcome bag (well, at all) but definitely not if I booked some random hotel.
Post # 8
I would think you were a creeper. I don’t understand this whole “welcome bag” thing anyway- seems unnecessary to me.
Post # 9
Its quite common to do welcome bags. Most people who have destination weddings do them. Its not compulsary or required whatsoever – but my budget allows it. If I drove 3 hours for a wedding and got to my hotel to find a lovely box of personalised treats I would like it was incredibly thoughtful. Each to their own though 🙂
Post # 10
Thanks for your responses guys 🙂
Since I am only having a small number of attendees ill probably take advice and just stick to word of mouth.
Post # 11
Your guests may not know where they are staying when they send in the rsvp card so would just leave it blank. I don’t think you will get the information you are looking for.
Post # 12
I don’t think it’s rude, but it’s hard enough getting RSVPs back as it is without adding another variable. Doing this puts you at risk of guests who would otherwise have returned their RSVP immediately putting it aside with the intention of returning it once they know where they’re staying, and then forgetting about it.
Post # 13
I dont think its rude at all
Post # 14
I agree that this info should not go on an RSVP reply. Just call and ask closer to the time. Most people mention that they will have something waiting for the guest at the hotel. This is not at all unusual.
Post # 15
I think it’s awkward rather than rude. I would just do welcome bags only for those who booked into your arranged block in the lodge. It will be a pain anyway to go to 4 or 5 hotels dropping off bags and many hotels will not distribute bags to guests if you didn’t get the block through them. The lodge can tell you who booked from your block.