(Closed) is it rude to book a wedding date the same as your inlaws anniversary?

posted 4 years ago in Reception
Post # 16
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

It’s not rude at all, it’s kind of sweet.  We considered my in-laws’ anniversary for our wedding and they loved the idea.  However, I think nixing all these other dates because of people’s birthdays is absolutely ridiculous.  I agree that a pregnant sister who’s due on your current date is a good reason to postpone, but I think you’re being way too quick to eliminate other pefectly good dates.

Post # 17
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I dont think that its rude.. but i would also just ask them if you are concerned about it. Everybody will think something different, and you know them best

also.. i Dont think that i would postpone my wedding date.. its your wedding date not your sisters.. and i realize that she is pregnant,. but people in your wedding party can still be pregnant. and people can also end up getting pregnant in between.. one of my bridesmaids got pregnant.. 4 months after i asked her and is due the day after the wedding.. she ended up stepping down as it was too much.. but point being anything can happen. I would just wing it to be honest. date problem solved

Post # 18
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - His Way Church & Chesapeake Room @ Downs Park

“I was looking at the calender and the only date i would be able to do is June 2nd. I do not want a summer wedding at all..”

Keep your current wedding date. Your sister’s pregnancy doesn’t have to keep her from being a bridesmaid, and I highly doubt she is going to give birth on that exact date. You don’t want a summer wedding. You said it yourself.

Post # 19
Member
7897 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. I bet they’d love to share the wedding date with you. 

Post # 20
Member
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

I don’t think they’d mind in the slightest, but it doesn’t hurt to double check. If anything, your consideration will be appreciated. 

Post # 21
Member
2506 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
VintageGirl1020:  your in-laws don’t have a monopoly on a date, and i can’t *imagine* that they could be upset about your anniversary being the same as theirs. honestly, i would truly question my desire to be part of a family that would be “offended” over me getting married on the same date as them.

also, i totaly understand you chaging the date because of your sister. beside her being in the wedding, i’m sure you’re concerned about her just *being there*. and with a due date on your wedding date, it’s like playing with fire – she might give birth early, or on time, or late. you never know. i would be *crushed* if my sister couldn’t attend my wedding, and i’m sure neither you nor your sister, nor the rest of the family would want the stress of not knowing.

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  ilovesophia.
Post # 22
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We got married on my parents’ anniversary. They were there when we were discussing potential dates and they loved the idea. My dad was able to wish my mum a happy anniversary during his speech (he deviated from what he’d rehearsed in front of her!), it was very sweet! I’d run it by your in laws but really can’t see anyone having a problem with it. 

Post # 23
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Does your sister want you to move the date? She’s pregnant, not decapitated, she can still attend the wedding can she not?

 

Anyways, if keeping the original date REALLY isn’t an option, I’d ask the ILs how they feel. I don’t think it would be rude at all. There are only so many dates in a year, eventually you’re going to overlap with someone.

 

eta – I see now that due date is the SAME day as the wedding. Yes, that gets tricky. TBH I dont see why you cant have an april wedding and just do a shower closer to the wedding date either though. But I still think having same date as ILs isn’t a bad thing.

Post # 24
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

1. A friend of mine’s Fiance HAD to have their wedding on a certain date because it was his parent’s anniversary and then the parents separated a month before the wedding. Super awkward all around. (Not that that would happen to you!)

2. If you don’t want a summer wedding, that’s totally fine, but when you’re justifying your choice to others (family, etc.), I would avoid talking about relatives’ birthdays. That just seems a bit silly and straw-grasping. 

Post # 25
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

What a good sister you are to change your date! My sister (an excellent sister in all other ways) got married 12 hours after I gave birth to her niece in another country. Not only did I miss her wedding, my parents missed the birth of their granddaughter. Not something we talk about, but in (her) hindsight, I think she would have moved the day a couple months in either direction. You are right to schedule around her due date.

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