(Closed) Is it rude to decline being in a sibling's wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 121
3069 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

I support the OP in doing what is best for her own life. Being 6 hours away immediately seems to me like it defines limited participation, it’s a no brainer, regardless of TTC or finances or whatever.

I am amused at those who imbue a bridal party with some kind of magical healing of family dysfunction. It will make you so close to your brother! Warm feelings will flow from it and etc [insert eyeroll here.] Bleah. 

Actually, it’s exactly this kind of thing that is more likey to cause strife and discord.

That’s why I think the bride is smart to stay away from the hot center of this event, the bridal party, and support it from afar, whatever that means for her.

I say this as someone who likes my family, both sides, gets along well with both sides, but am not near them. We are 8 – 10 hours away from family and I don’t make a huge effort to attend every family wedding or celebration. Sometimes I think that family dysfunction torques people’s view of life so that they can’t see that polite but distant support in family relationships is perfectly ok.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by .
  • This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by .
Post # 122
2850 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply

You’re welcome doll. Remember that there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself too.

Post # 123
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

If you don’t want to do it, PLEASE don’t.

I was worried, after reading so many threads about how being a bridesmaid is such a PITA, that no one would want to be my bridesmaids. The girls who are my BMs actually all volunteered! They’re very enthusiastic and it means the world to me, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Please don’t be a Bridesmaid or Best Man out of obligation, it will just be awkward for everyone.

I think your pregnancy is the perfect excuse as well. If you’re comfortable discussing TTC, you can tell you mother and brother privately that you’re so happy for him and excited for the wedding, but you won’t be able to be a reliable Bridesmaid or Best Man for the next couple of years because you and your DH need to focus on expanding your family. Tell him you’ll be thrilled to attend and honored if they ask you to participate in the ceremony in some way, but it wouldn’t be practical to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

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