Post # 1
We have a fine relationship, she really likes me (she has 3 sons,) and gifts are *definitely* her love language. I can’t help but thinking that she would appreciate having a couple hints from me (There are 2 things in particular that I want right now, but Darling Husband thinks they are silly, so I’m not even sure that he would be willing to “pass them on” as ideas to Mother-In-Law, but I think she would like to buy them for me!) BUT… she hasn’t asked for any ideas!
Another idea I have is to make an amazon wish list and email it to her and my parents and Darling Husband. (so she isn’t “singled out.”)
(I know that my parents will ask me at some point what I want, whether I email them or not.)
Post # 3
Our parents are always asking us. An email might be a little too pushy when she hasn’t asked for a list. Maybe if you ask what she wants for Christmas she will ask you back?
Post # 5
In our family we use this little site to share all our Christmas wishes every year!
Post # 6
Let her ask you. Or she may already have a fabolous idea of what she wants to get you.
Post # 7
I would never e-mail a wish list without expressly being asked for it.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t, but I am really uncomfortable giving people wish lists anyway. If she asks and you know it will really help her, go ahead and send it. But I’d wait until she asks and definitely make sure to ask her what she’d like as well!
Post # 9
I would let her contact you or have Darling Husband give a few suggestions.
Post # 10
I’d let her ask (though I was uncomfortable even pointing out my wedding list to people, some of which didn’t even get us any gift in the end).
Post # 11
I think so, if you do it yourself. However, my Mother-In-Law and step Mother-In-Law have both asked Fiance for lists from me, so that’s what I’m currently working on. Still feels weird that I’m doing it, though. :/
Post # 12
I agree, let her ask. or bring up christmas in a convo, like “hey mil what would be good gift ideas or what’s on your wishlist” and then that opens the door for her to ask you.
Post # 13
uh yah i think it’s incredibly rude to tell anyone (in law, parents, husband) what you would want for a gift without them asking you. The wish list idea is also rude.
Post # 16
Strictly from an Etiquette perspective… this would be a HUGE NO-NO
Asking for gifts is NEVER correct
One must be grateful for whatever one receives…
So the correct answer even when asked is “Whatever you choose will be fine”
BUT of course when it comes to families and close / loved ones, Etiquette does relax a bit for most people
I would say that you should NEVER be so presumptuous tho as to just mail-off a Wish List without being asked “What would you like for Christmas” first (In my mind that would NEVER be appropriate no matter who was going to be purchasing me a gift… not even my Hubby)
When my Ex and I first got married, his Family would buy me / us whatever they chose… and it worked out fine. As his NEW WIFE, I wanted to make a good impression, so I WAS ALWAYS GRATEFUL, no matter what I received, and made sure to send off the appropriate Thank You Notes after the Holiday Season
As the years passed, and kiddies came along, things relaxed a lot. Gramma & Grampa got into the habit of saying “So what is on everyone’s Wish List”… and so we just naturally sent along a few ideas for ourselves as well (at assorted price points within what we had discovered they usually spent on us… which was around $ 50 each… so there might be items in the $ 10 to $ 20 range, as well as one at $ 50, and sometimes, we just said… “maybe this year combine the two of the adult gifts into one as we’ve been considering this ___ item” … which had a value of aprox $ 75 to $ 100)
This “game plan” all worked out well for over 20 years.
Hope this helps,