(Closed) Is it rude to email MIL my wish list for Christmas?

posted 6 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: Is it rude?
    Yes, (don't email her) she is fully capable of asking if she wants ideas : (95 votes)
    94 %
    No, she will appreciate the suggestions : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Make an Amazon wish list and email it to everyone who might be interested : (1 votes)
    1 %
    I've got a better idea... : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    10603 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Our parents are always asking us.  An email might be a little too pushy when she hasn’t asked for a list.  Maybe if you ask what she wants for Christmas she will ask you back?

    Post # 4
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I wouldn’t. Let her ask.

    Post # 6
    2418 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Let her ask you. Or she may already have a fabolous idea of what she wants to get you.

    Post # 7
    2638 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2006

    I would never e-mail a wish list without expressly being asked for it.

    Post # 8
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t, but I am really uncomfortable giving people wish lists anyway. If she asks and you know it will really help her, go ahead and send it. But I’d wait until she asks and definitely make sure to ask her what she’d like as well!

    Post # 9
    9482 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would let her contact you or have Darling Husband give a few suggestions.

    Post # 10
    529 posts
    Busy bee

    I’d let her ask (though I was uncomfortable even pointing out my wedding list to people, some of which didn’t even get us any gift in the end).

    Post # 11
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think so, if you do it yourself.  However, my Mother-In-Law and step Mother-In-Law have both asked Fiance for lists from me, so that’s what I’m currently working on.  Still feels weird that I’m doing it, though.  :/

    Post # 12
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I agree, let her ask. or bring up christmas in a convo, like “hey mil what would be good gift ideas or what’s on your wishlist” and then that opens the door for her to ask you.

    Post # 13
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    uh yah i think it’s incredibly rude to tell anyone (in law, parents, husband) what you would want for a gift without them asking you.  The wish list idea is also rude.

    Post # 14
    3667 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I’d wait for her to ask.

    Post # 15
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    Yes this would be rude.

    Post # 16
    9952 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Strictly from an Etiquette perspective… this would be a HUGE NO-NO

    Asking for gifts is NEVER correct

    One must be grateful for whatever one receives…

    So the correct answer even when asked is “Whatever you choose will be fine”

    BUT of course when it comes to families and close / loved ones, Etiquette does relax a bit for most people

    I would say that you should NEVER be so presumptuous tho as to just mail-off a Wish List without being asked “What would you like for Christmas” first (In my mind that would NEVER be appropriate no matter who was going to be purchasing me a gift… not even my Hubby)

    When my Ex and I first got married, his Family would buy me / us whatever they chose… and it worked out fine.  As his NEW WIFE, I wanted to make a good impression, so I WAS ALWAYS GRATEFUL, no matter what I received, and made sure to send off the appropriate Thank You Notes after the Holiday Season

    As the years passed, and kiddies came along, things relaxed a lot.  Gramma & Grampa got into the habit of saying “So what is on everyone’s Wish List”… and so we just naturally sent along a few ideas for ourselves as well (at assorted price points within what we had discovered they usually spent on us… which was around $ 50 each… so there might be items in the $ 10 to $ 20 range, as well as one at $ 50, and sometimes, we just said… “maybe this year combine the two of the adult gifts into one as we’ve been considering this ___ item” … which had a value of aprox $ 75 to $ 100)

    This “game plan” all worked out well for over 20 years.

    Hope this helps,


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