Post # 1
My mother says it’s rude of me to call people who have not yet RSVPd to my wedding. I have emailed / called a few people I haven’t heard from to let them know we are getting in our final numbers for catering and to ask whether they know if they will attend. My mother thinks this is rude, but I’m just afraid it will put me in an awkward situation if unexpected people show up and we don’t have enough food / seating at the reception.
Post # 3
Definitely not! It’s rude that they didn’t respond… you’re actually supposed to follow-up with people who don’t respond. Just don’t get snarky with them 🙂
Post # 4
No, it’s not rude. You need to know for sure!
Post # 5
No absolutely not- as long as it is after the RSVP deadline. It is rude of your guests to not RSVP! You need to get catering numbers for practical reasons and are ensuring the correct quantity of food for your guests.
Post # 6
Has your RSVP deadline passed? If so, it’s fine to politely follow up.
Post # 7
As long as your deadline has passed, you should definitely give them a call to see if they’re coming. You don’t want to pay for their food if they’re not coming, and you don’t want to not have food for them if they are. Just be polite.
If you can’t get them on the phone and they won’t return your messages, mark them as a no and leave them off your seating chart.
Post # 8
It’s not rude and it’s absolutely necessary. As long as you are doing it after the rsvp deadline date, there is no problem. You need to know your final numbers.
Post # 9
If your deadline has passed, them it’s definitely okay to follow up with them!
Post # 10
Not rude at all. That’s what the RSVP date is for, and people should be considerate of that. The venues need a count by a certain time. Mention that to them if it makes you feel better.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center
It’s not rude at all! In fact, it’s rude of the people who didn’t RSVP! When we followed up there were a few people who were grateful because we actually had two people who never got their invites, and a few others who had a ton of stuff going on and kept forgetting to send it in. Most of the time they are very appreciative that you followed up (though I would have been appreciative if they had just sent in the stupid pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope!). You need to do it for a peace of mind.
Post # 12
@Mrs. Doily: Agreed! This happened to me with a friend of mine. I knew they were getting married but didn’t know the details, so didn’t think a thing of it. When he called and asked if I was coming (no doubt frazzled from wedding stress) I realized I’d never gotten the invite and wouldn’t have known when it was otherwise!
As long as your deadline has passed, it’s totally fine to check in politely. If they don’t get back to you, it’s up to you whether to mark them as yes or no.
Post # 13
@julies1949: Agreed. If the deadline has passed it is rude of THEM to have not gotten back to you.
I was hunting down RSVP’s up until a week before our wedding. It was ridiculous that these people couldn’t just say yes or no…even a phone call would have been fine.
Post # 14
Thanks ladies!!! Yes, our deadline has most definitely passed, and I have waited a bit after the deadline, just in case there were stragglers. Most people have made the effort to get in touch, but there are a few who have surprised me by their lack of response because I know them to be responsible!!
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
No, they are the rude ones. Another bee posted this a couple of months ago, and I think it’s the perfect way to follow up.
“Hi- Just wanted to check on your RSVP for our wedding on July 13th. We know you easy it is to let these dates get away from you, however we need to give our caterer a final number of guests. If we don’t hear back from you by (DATE), we’ll have to assume that you are unable to attend.”
Post # 16
If your deadline has passed, it is not rude at all! It is rude of the people who have not responded yet. I had to chase people down the week of my wedding.