(Closed) Is it rude to follow up those who have not RSVPd???

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Definitely not! It’s rude that they didn’t respond… you’re actually supposed to follow-up with people who don’t respond. Just don’t get snarky with them 🙂

Post # 4
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No, it’s not rude.  You need to know for sure!

Post # 5
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

No absolutely not- as long as it is after the RSVP deadline.  It is rude of your guests to not RSVP!  You need to get catering numbers for practical reasons and are ensuring the correct quantity of food for your guests.

Post # 6
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Has your RSVP deadline passed? If so, it’s fine to politely follow up.

Post # 7
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

As long as your deadline has passed, you should definitely give them a call to see if they’re coming. You don’t want to pay for their food if they’re not coming, and you don’t want to not have food for them if they are. Just be polite.

If you can’t get them on the phone and they won’t return your messages, mark them as a no and leave them off your seating chart.

Post # 8
46402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not rude and it’s absolutely necessary. As long as you are doing it after the rsvp deadline date, there is no problem. You need to know your final numbers.

Post # 9
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If your deadline has passed, them it’s definitely okay to follow up with them! 

Post # 10
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not rude at all.  That’s what the RSVP date is for, and people should be considerate of that.  The venues need a count by a certain time.  Mention that to them if it makes you feel better.

Post # 11
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

It’s not rude at all! In fact, it’s rude of the people who didn’t RSVP! When we followed up there were a few people who were grateful because we actually had two people who never got their invites, and a few others who had a ton of stuff going on and kept forgetting to send it in. Most of the time they are very appreciative that you followed up (though I would have been appreciative if they had just sent in the stupid pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope!). You need to do it for a peace of mind.

Post # 12
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Mrs. Doily:  Agreed!  This happened to me with a friend of mine.  I knew they were getting married but didn’t know the details, so didn’t think a thing of it.  When he called and asked if I was coming (no doubt frazzled from wedding stress) I realized I’d never gotten the invite and wouldn’t have known when it was otherwise!  

As long as your deadline has passed, it’s totally fine to check in politely.  If they don’t get back to you, it’s up to you whether to mark them as yes or no.

Post # 13
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@julies1949:  Agreed. If the deadline has passed it is rude of THEM to have not gotten back to you.

I was hunting down RSVP’s up until a week before our wedding. It was ridiculous that these people couldn’t just say yes or no…even a phone call would have been fine.

Post # 15
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

No, they are the rude ones. Another bee posted this a couple of months ago, and I think it’s the perfect way to follow up.

“Hi- Just wanted to check on your RSVP for our wedding on July 13th. We know you easy it is to let these dates get away from you, however we need to give our caterer a final number of guests. If we don’t hear back from you by (DATE), we’ll have to assume that you are unable to attend.”

Post # 16
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If your deadline has passed, it is not rude at all!  It is rude of the people who have not responded yet.  I had to chase people down the week of my wedding. 

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