Is it rude to have my wedding a month before my good friend's wedding?

posted 2 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
7710 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Nope. You’re fine. 

Post # 3
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2020

You are fine. You got the date that best suited you and your fiancé. She will get over it soon. That being said, you can’t judge her for feeling how she feels. She is entitled to her emotions and I can honestly see her point of view in this situation. usernamewastaken :  

Post # 4
2989 posts
Sugar bee

usernamewastaken :  If many of the overlapping guests have to travel to both weddings, it might have been a good idea to space the weddings a bit more than one month.

Post # 5
2682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Its only rude if you are making your friends travel long distances to attend both weddings in a short time period, or esentially make them choose between the two if they can’t afford to travel to both. If this isn’t the case, she is being completely bridezilla on this. You don’t need to put your life on hold because of her.

Post # 6
1984 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

I wouldn’t be mad at a friend if they booked their wedding a month before mine but will you be bridesmaids at each other’s weddings and will there be bachelorette parties  and bridal showers that your mutual friends will attend? I’m just thinking that it could be a really busy time for both of you! 

Post # 7
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

usernamewastaken :  My best friend hasn’t been engaged as long as I have and booked her wedding 2 weeks before me. 

I was just happy for her, and excited to attend. 

Any other response is sour grapes. You didn’t do anything wrong. 

Post # 9
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I can understand how she feels due to your shorter relationship and how close your weddings are (given that you booked much later), but as PP’s have said, the biggest concern might be guest inconvenience. However, in the end, this day is about you and your fiancé. 

Post # 10
378 posts
Helper bee

Your friend sounds entitled and dramatic.  How was this even an issue?  You are totally fine.  Plus, it is called “wedding season” for a reason.

Post # 11
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

What on earth? I’m getting married June 22 and my friend is getting married June 8th and I literally have zero problems with it. 

Post # 12
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

This is not a big deal and she will get over it. 4 couples in my friend group got married this year. We all booked within 3mos of eachother. We checked with eachother as we booked dates to make sure that we weren’t booking the same weekend, but other than that, it was not a thing. Two of the friends booked back to back weekends. We are all local as are all of the weddings. No one cared. And if your friend group gives you crap about stealing thunder, you need better friends. 

Post # 13
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

You’re totally fine! My friend booked her wedding two weeks after mine (she did ask if I minded ahead of time, but I definitely didn’tt, and was even willing to move the original date we were looking at so she could have a date that was special to her!), and our other really good friend is getting married less than a month after hers! We’re all bridesmaids in each other’s weddings, and I’m even officiant/matron of honor for the friend whose wedding is the same month of mine. Its going to be a CRAZY summer of various parties and helping each other plan, but we’ve so far (6 months into planning, 4 months left until the first wedding) have been very good at being considerate and setting boundaries. For instance, when someone is talking about their wedding, we don’t hijack the convo and make it about our own, unless we have something relevant and helpful to contribute based on experiences we’ve been running into and such. All parties and time with other bridesmaids are dedicated exclusively to the bride whose event/bridesmaids they are (no spending her bachelorette talking about your own wedding, etc). We’ve also been considerate with things like choosing inexpensive bridesmaid gowns for each other as we each have our own weddings to pay for too, and knowing not to ask too many extra bridesmaid duties from each other in the weeks leading up to each wedding.

It’s a balance but we are managing and all of us still feel that we’re getting plenty of focus on each of our weddings 😊 and what’s more, we’re making it fun! It’s great to have a support system of bride friends (like the bee, but irl!) who are just as into wedding stuff as I am at the moment, to bounce ideas of each other. We have group crafting nights and rotate whose decor we work on each time. We’ve even gone in on a few decor pieces together that we all can use and can each style to our individual preferences (like floating candle holders- for my wedding, they’ll hold branches in the water, another friend is surrounding them with flowers, and the other will be using black candles). When we’re out looking for decor and such, if we see something another might like we send it their way.

Overall, yeah it’s a bit overwhelming at time, but ultimately we’re friends and we’re happy for each other and we’ve chosen to find joy in sharing this time together rather than getting competitive or worrying about any “spotlight”.

I hope your friend comes around and you can enjoy being brides together too! 😊

Post # 14
119 posts
Blushing bee

She gets one day. She should be happy that she and her bestie are going through this exciting stage together.

Post # 15
6130 posts
Bee Keeper

You did nothing wrong. 

That doesn’t mean she won’t think you did and that she won’t be upset about it. Some people get crazy when it comes to weddings. 

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