(Closed) Is it rude to invite some people with guests and some not?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It is rude to invite any adult without a guest.

Post # 18
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

if we can name their guest when we send out invites, they get a guest.. if not, they’re on their own. 

Post # 19
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
@jenangeles:

I really like this way of going about it.

 

 

Post # 20
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Yes it is rude. The rules need to apply to everyone equally.

No one ever tells the couple when they are offended by rude behavior, as they have been taught not to say anything. But folks will talk about it to each other so that the couple never hears it.

Post # 21
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Catholic Church, Chateau Thomas Winery

We invited some people with guests and some without. It was hard for us to choose, but no one has seemed to mind.

Post # 22
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
I went to my best friend’s wedding a few months ago and Fiance wasn’t invited. She couldn’t afford to invite everyone plus 1 or some family could not have been there. I’m her friend, I wanted to be there, so I went without Fiance. This didn’t bother me at all.

I’m being more selective about who gets a plus 1. If someone really needs to bring someone I don’t know to my wedding and wouldn’t come otherwise, then they don’t really want to be there for me.

Wedings are expensive. I think guests should respect that.

Post # 23
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Before I know wedding invitation edicate, I was invited to my cousin’s wedding without a guest. I had been with my boyfriend (now fiance) for 2 years. We were 1 month away from being engaged and everyone know it (well, except me). I assumed he was invited. I RSVP’d back for both of us. No one contacted me. I didn’t know that I did anything taboo.

After I started planning my own wedding, I purchased a wedding edicate book. I felt like such an ass. Then I remember my cousin’s response to seeing the ONLY cousin who bothered to take the 9 hour drive to his small town to celebrate his wedding. He was soooo happy.

In the end, I’m happy we both went. I still feel like an ass though. I wish I would have known wedding edicate better, asked my mom, something! I’m also glad my Fiance and I are very generous gifters at weddings, so we more then covered our cost of being at their wedding.

Post # 25
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yeah, I think its rude that you’re giving your friends that option but not your family. Give a plus one to everyone in a committed relationship (which would put their name on the invite too), not a plus one to all your friends just because.

Post # 26
Member
13906 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We’re inviting anyone in a serious relationship with a guest.  I think it’s rude not to include guests when there is a relationship because it makes it seem like you think their relationship is insignificant and not worth the expense.  When someone has been together for a couple years, it’s likely that they may end up married, and… I guess personally, I don’t want to have that feeling of tension between me and my guests.

We are not inviting single friends with guests, and I’m not inviting people to bring their flavor-of-the-week. 

Post # 27
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not giving everyone a plus one.  We are looking at it on a case to case basis.  My single friends who don’t have a significant other and know EVERYONE at the party are not getting one.  I plan to give a plus one to my Fiancee’s co-worker who is single but is not friends with our entire crowd of guests.  I think you have to examine each circumstance and think of whether or not they will be comfortable without one.

 

Post # 28
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We’re simply opting not to invite my FI’s first cousins.  If we did, our 125 person wedding would morph to a 160 wedding after cousins and guests are included, and Fiance decided he preferred to invite friends rather than cousins he barely knows.  My 2 cousins are invited – but one is a bridesmaid and we think the other won’t come.

Post # 29
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A case by case basis is playing favorites, it is like you prefer people who have a significant other.  And then you are going to judge if each couple is significant enough?

Like I said, every guest should have the option of bringing a date, I would much rather go the route of inviting fewer people than force people to come alone.

 

Post # 30
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think having a nice, firm line is the best choice.

Living together? Plus One. Engaged? Plus One. Dating over a year(or less if you decide)? Plus One. 

Everyone else: no plus one.

Then if any situation comes up you can make a call (Cousin who is coming in from a foreign country and won’t know anyone? Co-worker who just started a relationship with someone you are friendly with and would have invited if you had a larger budget?)

Post # 31
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I dont think its rude at all. That is what we are doing. Only give +1 to people in a recognized relationship. (i.e. engaged, married, or boy/girlffriends that we know of!)

 

 

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