(Closed) Is it rude to leave a wedding right after dinner?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it rude to leave a wedding immediately after dinner?

    Yes.

    No.

    Other. Please comment.

  • Post # 47
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    It depends, most weddings I go to don’t have a “dinner” but just a buffet and you eat at your own pace. For this reason there’s usually this several hour long lull in the reception where NOTHING is happening because a few people keep going back for more so they’re waiting. When this happens I usually sit around, wait to say hellow to the couple and then leave.

    When I went to the wedding of my childhood friend they had a buffet but after about an hour of eating they started the dancing so if you wanted to keep eating you could but everyone else had the option of dancing. I literally stayed the entire night and it was by-far the funnest wedding I had ever been to.

    Post # 48
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Absoultely it is rude to leace a wedding rigth after dinner.  I agree witth PP that guests are not requireed to stay at the reception until the very end.  But at least have the common sense to spend at least a 1-2 hours at the reception & speak to the Bride and Groom before jetting off. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    1882 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    View original reply
    @NJmeetsBX:  LMAO! You didn’t get my post at all. First of all, your basic question was “Do you think it is rude to leave a wedding, my family does because you are expected to stay”. You made a general side comment about people eating and running at your wedding, but that wasn’t the main point of your question. If yo uhad said “do you think it was rude for people to leave my wedding because they used us for a free meal” my response would have been very different. 

    BTW- My answer was totally tongue in cheek and not specifically directed at “you” . LOL. and PS- i’m sorry you thought I was talking about your specific food. LOL that is so funny.

    Post # 50
    Member
    2598 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Um, well…WHY would it be rude? I’m not sure I understand. Because they’re turning down your hospitality? And if that’s the case, isn’t it also rude if your hospitality is conditional (come to the wedding! But your’e only our friend if you come to the WHOLE wedding)? 

    I mean, I think that if a person knows that they have to leave early, it’s common courtesy to let the couple and hosts know that that’s the case ahead of time and make it a point to say goodbye on the day-of. But I don’t consider it a requirement of weddings that people stay until a certain time. What about people who work the next day, or have a babysitter at home, or have a migraine developing? 

    But honestly, unless your wedding is quite intimate, are you really going to notice or care if 2 people among 200 leave after dinner? 

    Post # 51
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I’ll usually leave a little while after dinner depending on how well I know someone. But weddings in my religion are a little different than your average wedding so it’s not considered as rude for someone to leave right after dinner. It’s normal that the closest friends will stay and most everyone else will clear out. The only time I left a wedding early was because my Fiance wasn’t invited and the bride and groom had their cocktail hour go on for 2 1/2 hours while they were taking pictures. By the time we got into the ballroom it was still a wait for them and then a huge dancing set before dinner. I’d been out of the house since 7:00 and hadn’t seen my Fiance all day, plus waking up at 6 the next morning for work? (The wedding was on a weeknight.) I honestly didn’t even care if it was rude. You don’t keep your guests waiting all night like that. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    368 posts
    Helper bee

    It depends, if they let me bring my Fiance then I won’t leave right away. But, I went to a family member’s wedding where they didn’t let me bring my Fiance. I sat there utterly bored, and left much sooner than I normally would have. No one was dancing, and I had been there for hours. I had to drive home so I could only have one or two drinks. Also, I had to work at 8am the next day. I don’t find it rude to leave early at all, especially if the couple has already done all the “traditions”.

    Post # 53
    Member
    864 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I voted no because sometimes people have other obligations, or it’s late, sick, whatever. I think they have spent alot of time at the ceremony and dinner so they are being supportive of you and maybe that is all they can give on that particular day.

    Post # 54
    Member
    1445 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    No…it actually never occured to me that this might be rude. I don’t drink or dance plus I go to bed around 8pm so I generally don’t stay too long at all after we eat. Maybe it’s different with a sit down dinner, but all the weddings I’ve been to are buffets with no set timeline for events.

    Post # 55
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    At my wedding we had people leave BEFORE dinner.  I would much rather have had them at least eat first, then leave so I wouldn’t have wasted that money on them by throwing away food for people who didn’t even eat.

    Post # 56
    Member
    10451 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    View original reply
    @daybyday:  I agree with you. Sure, most people stay for a while but not because it’s an obligation. Some people maybe just don’t like drinking and dancing! 

    Post # 57
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    I honestly haven’t attended that many weddings (2 total) that served dinner, but I would wonder why they even bothered to show up if someone did leave that early. Granted while nearly all I have attended have been cake/dessert receptions where it’s totally acceptable to leave shortly after cake is served only if you have other obligations (and they don’t last more than 3 hrs max anyway…2 at the shortest). If the couple is spending what is typically charged for a dinner at a wedding, guests should stay longer than an hour (or whatever the duration of dinner is) unless there is a medical emergency they must attend to. Anything else is rude.

    Post # 58
    Member
    1826 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Guests have already congratulated you in the receiving line so if they need to leave for whatever reason then that is their business. I would normally try to say goodbye before I left; however, the bride and groom are quite often too busy and I don’t want to interrupt.

    Post # 59
    Member
    515 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think it would be rude.

    Post # 60
    Member
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think I would find it rude of some guests, but not for others. I know I should probably group them into one category, but I don’t. If my friends with children leave early, I understand and appreciate them coming at all. But, if my close friends left right after dinner, I’d be a little hurt I didn’t get to dance with them and enjoy the night.

    In your situation, I think it’s rude they didn’t even say hello/congratulations.

    Honestly though, every wedding I’ve been to has only been a couple hours long- ceremony and reception, so everyone left at about the same time.

    Post # 61
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i am having guests who will be leaving the minute the dessert is over, they told me in advance because they got a oveaseas trip to make.. so i was very ok

     

    but usually i would still be ok, as long as i get a proper bye haha

    The topic ‘Is it rude to leave a wedding right after dinner?’ is closed to new replies.

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