(Closed) Is it rude to not be registered?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

We didn’t really register either. I made a registry at Crate and Barrel in case some one really wanted to get us something tangible but it literally consists of about 10 random things. We registered for things we could use and easily transport such as dish towels, a melon baller, a whoopie pie cookbook and pan and a cup cake tray. Nothing large, heavy or glass as we will need to travel with it. Only one person actually asked me thus far. I don’t think it is rude but i understand that some people depend on registries, especially if they don’t know you so well.

Post # 4
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think it’s rude, but maybe you could register at just one store, just in case some people aren’t sure what to get you.

You can register online on alot of websites, makes it really easy!

Post # 5
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re not registered anywhere and will not be registering, so, no, I don’t think it’s rude.

Post # 6
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree.  It’s not rude. 

Post # 7
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I understand that you don’t need a lot; both my fiance and I acquired a lot of nice stuff for our respective apartments during college and actually had duplicate toasters, dishes, etc. by the time we moved in together. That said, I think you should make a registry at one store at the very least so you don’t get a bunch of figurines and frames- lol! Take some time to think about your stuff and what you would like to upgrade. Sure, you might have a set of silverware, but maybe you would like a new set, for example. 

If you really don’t want to register, you can politely put on your invitations or your wedding website that the presence of your guests is enough of a present. Otherwise they will still get you something. You could also include a charity you would rather them give donations to in your name. 

Post # 8
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We didnt want to register but we did anyway because I knew there would be some people who didnt want to give $ and I didnt want random crap.

Post # 9
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Absolutely NOT rude. I’ve been to plenty of weddings where people did not have a registry.

I think it’s rude to register for things knowing you are going to return them. Now, THAT would be rude!

Post # 10
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@brideatbeach:

“If you really don’t want to register, you can politely put on your invitations or your wedding website that the presence of your guests is enough of a present.”

I believe etiquette states that you NEVER refer to gifts or registries on your invitations.

Post # 11
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t think it’s rude not to register…but for the sake of convenience, my advice would be to set up even just a small registry on one of the WeddingChannel.com partners (Bed Bath, Macys, Pottery Barn etc.)  It is almost inevitable that a lot of your guests will ask about it in the weeks leading up to your wedding when you have a ton of other items to deal with.  This is especially true if you’re having a lot of traditional/older family-friend type of guests.   So trust me, it is just easier for everyone involved to have a registry. 

It’s your wedding and one of the few times people truly WANT to give you a gift!  🙂  enjoy it! 

Post # 13
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with the other that there will be people who will want to give you a tangible gift and for their convenience and yours I would set up a small registry.  But if you have a small registry, or non at all, I would say you should skip having a bridal shower.

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

People who are dead-set on buying an actual gift might think it’s rude. Usually those are the older women who are more old fashioned and don’t understand that people our age get married a lot older and have plenty of ‘stuff’ and just need $ for a down payment.

Our friends who were recently married didn’t register. We didnt’ think it was rude, we would have given them $ either way. But DH’s Mom (who is close to the groom) was at a total loss because she would never DREAM of giving $ as a gift, she was absolutely mortified.

Post # 15
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think it’s rude, but I do think you should prepare yourself for a lot of random “Precious Moments” type stuff.  I think a lot of the “older” generation isn’t away that NOT registering is a slight request for cash, so they’ll want to show up with SOMETHING in hand.

Post # 16
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We weren’t planning on registering either as I can’t think of anything we need for our home…. but will probably do a small one at one store so that people have the option (and also to avoid the “Where are you registered????” questions before the wedding!)

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