(Closed) Is it rude to not bring a gift to the wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@LadyBlackheart:  I think you’re fine. I personally don’t expect a gift from anyone, especially if they are renting a tux to be in my wedding or paying for a hotel.

Post # 4
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Personally gifts are nice but not mandetory. When my brother got married I had to travel and did not have the money for it. A few weeks later I was able to get him a gift but there was nothing at the actual wedding. Anyone who expects a gift (in my opinion) is being greedy. Yes they’re nice and wonderful and all of that jazz but they’re not mandetory.

Post # 5
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Could you afford just a small, little something?  I would suggest at minimum get a card and just congratulate them.  Were you at a shower where you would have already given a gift?  If so, this could save you.  If not, maybe you could save up after the wedding then a gift later with a sorry so late type note?

Post # 6
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@LadyBlackheart:  Gifts are certainly not a requirement, a nice card from both of you should suffice nicely.

Post # 7
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Ettiquite-wise you are supposed to bring a gift. Personally, unless the bride or groom has said they don’t expect gifts from wedding party (which I told my girls that) I would show up with a gift.. You sort of accept the financial responsibilies when you agree to be in the wedding. It sucks having to pay for travel and attire, but thats just part of being in a wedding. Even though I told my Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen that I did not expect gifts from them, they still all gave us a gift.

Post # 8
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t think it’s necessary.  I am sure they will understand which how much you are spending just to come and participate in the wedding.  I would be sure to get a card and write a nice note inside.  Then, it doesn’t look like you forgot.

Post # 9
46664 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Gifts are never REQUIRED. It is totally understandable that the wedding party has already invested a lot of money in the wedding. Take a beautiful card and wish them well.

If, at a later date, you find you can afford and want to send them somthing, you still have that option.

It is much kinder and more thoughtful, NOT, to bring gifts to the wedding at all, but rather to have them delivered , either before or after the wedding. Gifts brought to the recpetion are just another task for someone to deal with.

Post # 10
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s rude to show up completely empty handed. A card, with a small amount of cash would suffice. And if $50 isn’t affordable, or even $20, then you should at least bring a card.

Post # 11
4925 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it’s impolite to not bring a wedding gift personally. You could always give a card for now, and indiacte that their gift is “on order” and they will be recieving it later. 

Post # 12
3229 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve always given a gift even though it was inconvenient. Even something small counts or a nice card.

ETA: To answer your question, yes, I do think it’s rude to not bring or send a gift.

Post # 13
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Bring a card and write a heartfelt message. Perhaps make a promise for a great dinner when they come to visit you. 

Or, you could send them a gift later. I know a lot of people buy and send gifts weeks to months after the wedding is over. 

Post # 14
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If it was me, I’d bring a card, and then inform them that I’d send them a gift after the wedding. You have allegedly a year to send them a gift. 

That’s me though. I’d feel horribly rude not bringing a gift. You could not bring one though and I doubt you’d be put on a black list for it. 

Post # 15
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you are worried, you could always buy them a gift later on. Something off the registry perhaps, or just send a nice check their way.

Otherwise, it’s really not required.
People ask me how much money I expect to get from our wedding and I say “zero dollars!” Because I don’t want to think only about getting gifts.

Post # 16
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it’s fine to just bring a card. If later down the line circumstances change you could get them a gift then. We had quite a few gifts trickling in in the months after our wedding. 

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