(Closed) Is it rude to only pay for bridesmaid dresses and not groomsmen suits?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee

It is common in the States to have the groomsmen pay for suits, ties, and shoes. Just a heads up threads on this topic tend to get quite heated. 

Post # 3
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

I mean, wouldn’t you be annoyed if you were a groomsman and you found out? It’s not a formal etiquette issue, but maybe you should rethink burdening your wedding party with a significant expense like this and look for another way. What about having them wear their own suits?

Post # 4
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
esb123:  I don’t think it’s rude. When most bridesmaids have to get a dress for a wedding, there are very unlikely to wear that dress again (no matter how much brides say that they picked a versatile dress). A grown man will either have a suit already or should have one – because he’s a grown man and that’s a closet staple! Now if you’re getting into how they need to have a navy, three-piece suit that’s this fit style and all that….then yes, contributing would be nice. But a standard suit? No.

Post # 5
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We have bought our bridemaids dress and will pay for suit hire for the groomsmen. The suit hire is actually more than the dresses! 

Perhaps you can cover the ties or similar to the value of $40?

Post # 7
Member
713 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t even know this was a thing!  In my experiences, the bridal party pays for their own clothes, whether they are a bridesmaid or a groomsman.  I think it’s weird that only one part of the bridal party would be expected to pay for their wedding day attire while another part is given free clothes.  Kinda lame.

If you wanted to help with your wedding party’s clothing, then maybe buy the guys their ties and the ladies their shoes (or whatever)?  That way, everyone gets something, and nobody gets nothing.  Or, hell, just don’t worry about it at all and let them pick up the costs.  That’s usually what comes with the territory.

Post # 8
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

View original reply
esb123:  no I had to pay for my bridsmaid dress! 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by bettyles88.
Post # 9
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
esb123:  I’m not sure if you can call it rude, but depending on their personality it might come across to them as favoritism, unless the bridesmaids promise to say absolutely nothing about the cost of their dress. There’s a chance though that they would mention it innocently. If you can come up with extra $$ for the groomsmen’s outfits, how about giving them $40 each then let them take care of the rest? You can say something along the lines of, “we’re giving our entourage $40 each to help with the costs of their dress/suits.” The groomsmen don’t need to know how much the bridesmaid dresses are and they’ll feel that they’re treated equally. This is what I would do if I’m faced with this scenario, but you know the groomsmen better.

Post # 10
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think it’s a bit rude. Try to pay for the suits… If you pay for one you should pay for the other or at least put the amount you spent on the BM’s stuff toward the cost of the suits. 

Post # 11
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

 

Why do they need to know you paid for the bridesmaids dresses? It wont be rude unless you tell them.

Well….I’m not sure if that’s a problem to me anyway. The bride shouldn’t pay for any of their attire. It’s actually an honor for them to be involved at your wedding, so they should pay for their own. that’s what I’m doing. I pick the dresses for the bridesmaids and they buy it (I am paying for their alterations though if needed). Same goes for the groomsmen. My Fiance and I debated on that for a while, saying we should be the ones paying for them. But we’re not that traditional haha. So, you do what’s best bee. If it makes you feel better, maybe you can pitch half on their suits instead of all?

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