(Closed) Is it rude to put his family up in a DIFFERENT hotel than us??

posted 9 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should we pay for them to stay at the pricey hotel or a more reasonable one?

    $1500 - same hotel as us

    $500 - different hotel a few blocks away

  • Post # 3
    357 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride\'s residence

    I would put them in a different hotel. My mom booked us into a suite at a different hotel than our guest block — I would have never thought to seperate ourselves but after the fact I realized it was an awesome idea because we were finally truly alone. We ate breakfast at the hotel restaurant without anyone bugging us. We were able to walk around in the halls without having to be ‘on’ for guests.

    That, and if you’re paying for it, you should be able to dictate where that money is going. I think if they’re getting a free room they should take what you offer them, be it at a fancy hotel or not. If they want something better, they can pay for it.

    Post # 4
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    @ElizMis:  $500 vs $1500 is a pretty big difference… is it within your means to put them up in your hotel?  Well then I would say go along with your Fiance.  Is it stretching your budget?  Then tell your FI’s family that the hotel you are all staying at is booked up but you were able to find a close alternative.  Basically I see both sides of the argument, and what it would boil down to for me is whether or not we can (comfortably) afford it.  I guess another question is does your FI’s family automatically assume that you will pay for their stay?  Maybe you can cover half and half or something if possible.

    Post # 5
    23 posts
    • Wedding: May 2013

     I don’t see the reason why they can’t make a 3-hour round trip in one day or are expecting someone else to pay for their choice?

    Our out of town guests are getting the information for 4 hotels on the wedding website- reception hotel plus 3 others, within a 5 block walk. I’d suggest they get e-mailed information about hotels in the area and they can make their own choice and reservation.


    Post # 6
    3218 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I agree you either put up your family in the same hotel, so both families get to reap this experience or neither family does.

    IF you can’t afford it you should.

    Post # 7
    1603 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I would not be comfortable with spending $1500 on one night for someone who wasn’t me. I really think you should go with the cheaper one, especially since you and your Fiance are supporting them.

    Personally, I don’t see why they can’t just drive home. But to each their own.

    Post # 8
    157 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I would put them in a different hotel. Thats a big differents on money, and anyway if they never go out then just staying in a hotel will be a luxery…

    Post # 9
    1762 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I suggest putting up a poll for this topic. I vote different hotel! Your fancy hotel suite was a GIFT. Just because your Fiance is financially supporting his mom and sister and her kids doesn’t mean that you guys are obligated to provide the same gift you received to them.

    I would tell your Future In-Laws that you would have stayed in the same hotel in them but your parents upgraded you, and therefore you will be staying in a different hotel. It’s not like you’re putting them up in a dump, right? They should be fine.

    Post # 11
    630 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @ElizMis:  Fiance also feels obligated to give them a 5-star hotel experience because he claims they never get to do anything nice.

    Of course they do.  They’re going to a wedding at a 5-star hotel and then being put up for the evening in a nice hotel nearby.  If that doesn’t translate to “anything nice” in your FI’s world, then I question his sanity.

    It sounds like you’re not thrilled at the current financial arrangement (to say the least) but you didn’t ask for opinions on that, so I won’t address it.

    Post # 12
    1069 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    OP, siding completely with you.  You and FH should not spend $1500 to put his family up in the hotel…I would think that’s a slap in the face to your parents who are graciously paying so much for your wedding so YOU and FH can use that money for your future (NOT to pay for his family to stay).  Putting them up in a hotel period is a very gracious gesture on your part.

    Post # 13
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    You know what would be rude? If you didn’t invite them to the wedding. Put them in a different hotel.

    Post # 14
    1351 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @MadTownGirl:  +1


    i think its really weird that his family even asked for you guys to pay for their hotel when they live only an hour and half away. They don’t deserve a nice evening, you do! Because you’re getting married! It’s your day, not theirs.

    Frankly, I would be worried that your Fiance is going to feel they should always be included, on your dime.

    Post # 15
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I would put your foot down on this one. You already pay for their daily living so now you are expected to pay $1500 for a hotel room for 1 night? Your parents gifted you the suite probably to save you $, not so you could spend said money on your ILs.

    Once you are married is your money going to pay for his family? I understand helping out a parent but a sister, her kids AND her boyfriend? That is ridiculous. I’d have a long talk about my money vs his money and honestly if he continued to pay their way I’d keep my finances seperate.

    Post # 16
    320 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I think you should put them in a different hotel. That is way to much for 1 night.

    The topic ‘Is it rude to put his family up in a DIFFERENT hotel than us??’ is closed to new replies.

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