(Closed) Is it rude to tote your baby along?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s absolutely rude to bring your child if you don’t ask (or even worse if you ask, are told no, and do it anyway).  I had a couple babies at my bridal shower and one at the wedding.  But in all cases the mothers asked me and I told them it was fine.  We didn’t have children at our wedding but I will never tell someone that they can’t bring their breastfeeding infant with them.  It’s impossible for mother and baby to be apart at that point.  The baby at the wedding slept pretty much the whole time and NEVER made a peep.  And as for the two at my shower, I was probably doting over them more than anyone else : )

I would just be very firm and let them know that children are NOT to attend.  But in the case of your friend who will have a one month old I do think you should make an exception.

Post # 4
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I have kids and I say yes, it’s rude to bring babies/children to a bridal shower.  It’s not a baby shower and I don’t think it’s too much to ask to keep it adults only.  Maybe an exception for a newborn who can’t be left with a sitter but no one else has an excuse. 

Just find a way to say something along the lines of that you’re looking forward to a “girls only” party.  You can be nice but still ban the kiddies.  Some people might disregard but most should respect your wishes. 

Post # 5
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

It’s rude. I would be very angry especially since I do not want any kids at my wedding. Babies cry and I wouldn’t want my ceremony interrupted by a crying baby.

Post # 7
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I kind of think infants under 6 months should be able to come, regardless of whether older children can, because they CAN’T run around and cause havoc (and because of the whole breast-feeding thing, which can be done in a bathroom.)  That said, I’ve got 10-12 kids under 10 coming to my wedding, with 66-68 people total. 

Post # 8
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It is rude, and it will happen.

I’ve had people invite their children without asking (as in cross out the 2 and write in 4 on their RSVP cards) and my sister had people just show up with kids to her wedding. There’s nothing wrong with wanting an adult only reception at all, just be prepared for handling any of those situations. I tried my best to be polite about it. (“Unfortunately we don’t have space for any children, hopefully you can still attend. If you need help with arrangements we will do our best to help you out”)

Edit: I don’t mean to come off as insensive to mothers (my sister and Maid/Matron of Honor has a 6 month old!) I just think it’s rude in general to self invite anyone, regardless of age.

Post # 9
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m just not really into kids at weddings. The last wedding I went to, a mom spend 3x more time dressing her daughter than she did herself. Weddings are about the bride and groom, not how cute a baby is!

Post # 11
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can see yur concern about the two-year-old, but you absolutely must allow the newborn to come! They are still breastfeeding at that age, so there’s really nothing the mother can do about it, you just can’t have the mom away from her 1 month old all day.

Post # 12
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

just say it is an adult only party.. I would not think any different if the children in the bridal party were at the reception.. Actually when I was younger, my aunt (a long long time ago) had a wedding in a hotel.. and once we got the invite I started picking out a dress (yes…..i started early) and then my mom told me that children were not to attend.. well my little heart broke! Instead we got to stay at the hotel..order room service and movies on pay per view and had a grand ole time.. The children in the bridal party were at the reception (which we could see from our room btw) and I never thought anything of it, even as a child. Oh, and you should prob personally tell your friend you dont expect her to leave her 1 month old home. 

Post # 14
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes, it is extremely rude to bring your children to showers and weddings when they aren’t invited. If the invitation specifically lists the kiddos or the hosts okay it then thats fine but to bring your children just because you feel like it? Not okay in my book. 

My FBIL/FSIL are due to have their baby 2 months before our wedding and the baby will not be invited. I’ve already made it perfectly clear that I do not want children at our wedding (thankfully both Fiance and my Future Mother-In-Law agree with me). Even if babies normally sleep all the time, theres still a good chance that he/she could start crying at any moment and I’m not willing to compromise the day that I’ve spent years planning and the money we’re forking over for video on a crying baby. Besides, I’d really like the day to be about Fiance and I, not how cute the baby is. Sounds selfish, I know, but thats how I feel. 

You get one day and that day is all about you. Put your foot down and be clear about what you want. 

Post # 15
Member
2547 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I guess I’m in the minority, but I believe exceptions should be made under certain circumstances. A new born baby is very hard to seperate yourself from, breastfeeding or not. But that just my opinion.

Post # 16
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think it is rude for parents to bring their kids when asked not to, or by just assuming – if anything, for the newborn, pehaps someone can take the kid somewhere else for the duration of the ceremony only? (I think this is the main reason ppl don’t want kids at a wedding, with the fear of hearing a screaming baby during your vows.)

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