(Closed) Is it safe to say engagement is off for now?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 18
Member
577 posts
Busy bee

I’d just talk to him. Maybe he still wants it to be by July. Maybe he wants to be more financially stable. Either way, once you know what he’s thinking you can prepare yourself for whatever lies ahead for you two. 🙂

Post # 19
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee

@southernbelle381:  I would be as supportive as humanly possible and talk to him about how he’s feeling about everything in his life, from a general sense about how he’s feeling to very specific things. One of the specific things you can talk about is your relationship. I definitely don’t think you should be afraid to talk about things! I mean, that’s the only way to know anything for sure, right?

Post # 20
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@southernbelle381:  I’d be supportive. Darling Husband and I were long distance and during that time he was job searching. In fact he didn’t get his job offer until the evening before he proposed – but he would have proposed either way. I made it clear that if he were to propose I wasn’t going to expect a ring (he proposed with a cute stand-in) and that I loved him no matter what! Sending you good vibes!

Post # 21
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

@southernbelle381:  I’d say just talk to him… But if you’d rather not bring it up, I’d just assume he’s not going to propse. That way if he doesnt, you won’t be disappointed but if he does, then that’s even better! 

Kinda like that saying: hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. 

I think there’s still a chance though. 

OAN: your screen name is southern belle; what state are you in? I’m in Mississippi! Nice to see someone from the south on here! 

 

 

Post # 24
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@southernbelle381:  I don’t think you can say it’s officially off the cards until he says so. Maybe wait for the dust to settle and have a calm, frank, open conversation with him about how you love him, want to spend all your life with him, the ups and the downs, and you dont love him for his finances or his job, you’ll love him no matter what. And see where it goes…..

Post # 25
Member
9135 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@southernbelle381:  I wouldn’t push for or expect a proposal until he finds another job.  He may still propose in the meantime but I wouldn’t add that expectation right now because he is probably extremely stressed out from losing his job and being unemployed.

Post # 26
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee

@beachbride1216:  Yeah, I agree with you. I don’t think that she should push for a proposal while he’s unemployed. I don’t think it would hurt to talk about things (in a non-pressuring way) and see what’s on his mind.

Post # 28
Member
9135 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@southernbelle381:  Definitely have a conversation ASAP where you tell him that you love him and you’re there to provide him with any support he needs while he’s job searching (be it reviewing his resume, editing his cover letters, or just holding hands so he knows you’re there with him.)  For a lot of guys their job is a symbol of their manhood so losing it can be a crushing blow to their ego.  He needs to know that now more than ever, you find him attractive and masculine.  Not in those terms specifically, choose your wroding more eloquently and fit them to your SO.

Post # 29
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The proposal was delayed because of a job loss. He lost his job in june and was going to propose in august… he proposed in february.

Post # 30
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Losing a job can be a huge blow to one’s self-esteem. I would say, be loving and supportive. Make sure he knows you love him no matter what. If he brings up getting engaged, be enthusiastic. But don’t bring it up. In the mean time, use this as an opportunity to see how he acts when stressed/under pressure. Life throws curve balls. It’s good to know how one’s mate will respond.

Post # 31
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My husband lost his job right before he proposed. We still married the following year. We eloped because that is what we could afford at the time, but we really wanted to be husband and wife. We knew we could celebrate with family later.

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