Post # 1
Darling Husband only wants one and I think I only want one, is it selfish of us to not give our child a sibling? Let’s be rational about this, just because they have a sibling doesn’t mean they grow up to be besties…
Post # 3
I’m an only child and it was great! I have the best relationship with my mom. I have friends that I consider family. I have never felt deprived because I didn’t have a sibling (and sometimes when I hear the horror stories of fucktard siblings, I’m thrilled to be an only child!)
Post # 4
As the only daughter with three much older brothers…
Post # 6
@applebeee: It’s a tough one. I don’t think it’s selfish, but as someone who did have two siblings, I want to have only two children. For me, one is too few and three is too many.
Fiance only wants one child (he has two siblings), but honestly, I have a few friends who were only children and they can be a little…socially awkward–though not all single children are not!! So we will see what happens.
So to answer your question, it’s not selfish.
Post # 7
interesting question, I’m looking forward to hearing more responses to this. I’ve always just assumed we’d have 2, but when I think about it, perhaps one is better financially and easier on the marriage? I don’t know, like I said, interested in what people say about this
Post # 8
It’s not selfish; You can always change your mind and in the end you’re the one making sacrifices to raise them. It’s good to keep in mind that you will have to make extra effort to socialise your kid adequately. Studies show only children are at a disadvantage in terms of social development. There’s also an economy of scale: with every additional child it does get cheaper incrementally (you already have a crib, clothes etc).
Post # 9
@Glasgowbound: LOL my sibling is DEF a fucktard and so is my DH’s. I got into it with a gf the other day who said we were selfish bc she couldn’t imagine her life without her sister, which is wonderful for her but hey people can seriously suck.
I have a few gf’s I consider my family well over my actual sibling, we will have to see the votes come in!
Post # 10
I am an only child (not by choice, there were a few factors involved).
Sometimes I think it might have been nice to have siblings. then I look at FI’s family (he’s the youngest of 4) and I’m grateful I was never subjected to that bullshit!
I can see myself having more than one child though.
Post # 11
Nope, not selfish. And you can give that child everything you can. Two cost WAY more. Take them to piano lessons, make sure they play baseball/team sports as a child, teach them Spanish. Your child will make plenty of friends and you will be giving them every opportunity you can.
Post # 12
I don’t think it’s selfish at all! Siblings aren’t always the best thing. Plus you’d have more money that you could use to send your daughter/son to university, on trips, in rec. activities etc.
Post # 13
In addition, I just feel like having one child is much more financially reasonable. If we had 2 there wouldn’t be much traveling, school options for the children are limited, and the list goes on. I do not want to be poor and not be able to enjoy our passion of traveling just because I feel guilty that my baby will be an only child…
Post # 14
No way! It’s not selfish at all.
I’ve met heaps of happy only children, and I think the issues arise when the parents spoil their only child, and think that because they only have the one they can give them as much toys, treats. etc that would be enough for 3 children.
My one friend whom is an only child was given chores, was disciplined, and if she wanted something ( a toy or treat) she had to behave, and do her chores. She turned out just fine!
Another friend of mine was an only child up until the age of 19. Her mother felt guilty for not giving her daughter a sibling, so she spoiled her rotten. She gave her $150 a week as pocket money (even though she didn’t have any chores) picked her up from and dropped her off at university (which was 1 bus trip there, 1 bus trip back) when she was 8 months pregnant, and bought her a 50″ LCD tv for her bedroom because she “didn’t want her to feel jealous of her baby brother”
In my opinion it all comes down to boundaries and discipline, and treating your only child as 1 child rather than 3.
Post # 15
I said “yes” but it’s just the closest option I could get. I don’t think it’s selfish really. If you know you only have the energy, resources, and temperment for one child, and you want to focus all your love on them, I think it’s great! I just really enjoyed having siblings (most of the time) growing up, and I think it has really enriched my life. There is also the socializing aspect, but that’s obviously something parents can work on.
Post # 16
I plan on starting with one and then we will see. Two at the most though.
Edit: Actually, I remember why I want 2 – I will be way overbearing with one and need the other one to spread out my smothering.