(Closed) Is it shallow to want a quality ring for engagement?

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

I understand how you feel, but it is important to have an open conversation with him. Let him know that this is an important symbol to you and you would like it to look a certain way, as you intend to wear it until you pass it on as an heirloom piece.

Post # 32
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

View original reply
mindzoo :  I was bringing up $1000 because I saw that elsewhere. I wanted something specific and custom in gold (also a necessity) is over that. You’re spot on that it’s ridiculous for a guy to skimp on the ring while spending more on frivolities for himself. My fiance was unemployed temporarily when we first got engaged so I was ok with cheaper to upgrade later. Once he got a job my dream ring was the first large purchase.

Post # 33
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

i wanted a quality ring, but i also offered to pay for half becuase i didnt want him to feel any type of way of me being a gold digger. he makes a lot more money than i do, but i have a lot more savings.

well proposal day same and he had a speach about how he will give me the ring i deserve later on. he game me a beautiful .6 carat 1 carat total weight in white gold as it was halo and micro pave diamond ring. the shrinkage waz very very real. i felt like the ring was too small for my finger and diapeared in picutres when i tried to take, lol.  two months later we got married in the court and he didnt buy me a wedding band as we were moving in together and had a lot going on, so we left it as an anniversary gift. he didnt like the idea of another ring until i told him i would never take my first e ring off but it will forver be a rhr, plus i hope  to never own a diamond again.

so for my anniversary we got a 2carat moissy 🙂

and the year after that i finally got a simple wedding band.

and this year i will get an anniversary band w moissys on and start my stack.

on his side of the family, all his aunts all blinged out so it wasnt too strange of a request from me. on my side no one really wears jewlery but idc. i told him i plan to give away all my jewlery to my family once i pass.

so maybe u dont get what u want at first but maybe you can build up to it if you are willing to chip in so he doesnt feel pressure even if he is well off.

Post # 34
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: USA

View original reply
mindzoo : I think a quality ring is a must- since it’s something you wear every day. That’s not shallow. Gold digger territory is being really attached to having a certain size or certain price ring. The intention behind that is never good IMO.

Post # 35
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana

 I fantasize about a pretty nice ring, so I said I’d pay for the bands and the honeymoon to Hawaii. 🙂 

Post # 36
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

$2500 is more than reasonable for an ering. You plan on having it for life and you want to cheirsh the memory behind it as well as love the ring. Gold is pretty standard too, so you shouldn’t feel like wanting a gold ring is a splurge.

Personally, for all of the specifications I want in a ring, it is going to be around $12k. I have tried to talk myself out of it but my SO knows that deep down I really do want a big diamond and that it will make me happy for the long run instead of skimping and getting a small and cheaper ring.

Don’t blow your budget, but also don’t feel guilty for wanting what you want. You should get to be happy about one of the biggest purchases of your life!

Post # 37
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana

View original reply
twocaratpeony :  I agree 100% on this!

Post # 38
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Communication is key! 

My engagement ring was about $2200, and that was in platinum with a moissanite, so you can definitely pay less if you’re gettin gold. My husband and I looked together but I was very picky about what I wanted and he was thrilled to let me design something custom.

We split the cost of the engagement ring, and got a pair of “engagement shoes” for him (gorgeous Oxfords that he wore to the wedding). I ended up buying both of our wedding bands as I got a new job and was paid out for unused vacation at the old job, and so was temporarily cash-rich (the rest of it went to the wedding).

It was important to me to split the cost, especially since I was getting exactly what I wanted, it’s the most expensive purchase either of us had made at that point, our salaries are the same, we were about to join our finances, he has a lot more student loan debt than I do…all these things were factored in. But you know your relationship and what you need to feel valued and respected and honored. So talk to the guy!

Post # 39
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you’re materialistic for wanting quality. It is a jewelry you will wear forever and it needs to hold up. If you put a minimum dollar limit on it and not worry about quality, then you would just be materialistic. 

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