Is it silly to include all our nieces and nephews in the bridal party?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I sort of ended up in this situation — we had 4 flower girls, 2 “ring bearers” and a jr usher in the end… they didn’t really do all that much (except walk down the aisle and wear our colors and be in a few pics) so it wasn’t really a big deal

we only had 4 adults in our wedding (2 Bridesmaid or Best Man and 2 GM) so there was more kids than adults in some pics but it was actually cute and better than having to choose and have someone end up crying with hurt feelings

(also they didn’t actually stand up with us — we had them sit with their parents/grandparents in the front few rows)

Post # 4
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

Don’t worry about looks, worry about who you want around you when you get married! If that’s the kids, go for it. As long as they’re well behaved and won’t cause a big fuss, which is always iffy with kids, I say have at it.

Post # 5
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

sunnierdaysahead2 :  for my situation since the kids were all traveling with parents from out of state it wasn’t really an option to invite them or not so I decided that I might as well get to use them as my photo props haha! (j/k)

I will say that my venue REQUIRED us to have on site baby sitters for every 3 kids under the age of like 10 or something so that also really helped – it was annoying and expensive but in the end it gave the kids somewhere to be and something to do during the “boring” parts so they weren’t running around underfoot (cocktail hour!!! my favorite) but they were still there for dinner/dancing (until about 10pm or so when the parents too them upstairs to their rooms and one of the parents hung out there so the others could still have fun (it was a B&B type place so while they were in thier own rooms it was more like being in a house than a hotel so this wasn’t an issue)

Post # 6
Member
47176 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it is overkill for the average wedding. If you are having a grand wedding in a cathedral- maybe. I also think it is an unnecessary expense for the parents to have to buy the wedding party outfits, or, are you planning on paying for those?

It also means you will be buying 16 or 17 wedding party gifts and having all of them to the rehearsal dinner ( I acknowledge you may have included them anyhow).

If you weren’t planning on having a flower girl or ring bearer, I would hand the responsibility back to your Mom to tell them she made a mistake.

Post # 7
Member
411 posts
Helper bee

I kind of plan in having a gaggle of flower girls. My hope is to just be really chill about their roll; if someone is having a meltdown, no worries, you don’t have to walk down the aisle. Bored of pictures? that’s cool, run off and play. My plan is to pay for their attire so we won’t be going with $$$ dresses, you can get sweet dresses for pretty cheap at some department stores. We’ll buy them gifts, but again, nothing extravagant.

I think if you keep your expectations realistic and are flexible that this can work. 

Post # 8
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have 11 nices and nephews. So I’ve been trying to figure out how to place them all. It’s your wedding. Do what makes you happy. I don’t think it’s an issue unless you don’t want them

Post # 9
Member
2705 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

My sister had five flower girls and two pageboys! They literally walked down the aisle first then sat with their parents, and were in some photos. They were super cute and loved being included. My youngest nephew was too little but they dressed him the same as the other two page boys.

Post # 11
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We included all ten of our nieces and nephews, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. We had the pre-teens as groomsmen, and the rest (all 7 and under) were a flock of flower girls and ring bearers. It was so much fun, and we have great memories and embarrassing stories for when they get older.

Post # 12
Member
3118 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve been to normal weddings (not in a cathedral) with lots of children and there was nothing silly about it. We had three kids in the wedding but lots at the wedding, and they were a blast on the dance floor. 

The 12 year old may enjoy being a junior bridesmaid or just attending as a guest. I would ask her directly. 

Post # 13
Member
4269 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Overkill, yes.  Frankly I think your mother needs to go and explain to the girls she promised to be flower girls that she was wrong and YOU are the one who will make the decision.

Post # 14
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I agree it is an overkill but honestly it is your wedding so do whatever makes you happy. I am having my niece that will be 4 at the time be the flowergirl and my nephew who will be almost 6 as ring bearer. My Fiance wanted to include his niece as well but shes 8 and looks much older plus her mother hates me and said she isn’t even coming to the wedding so yeah.

Post # 15
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Whatever makes you happy is perfect.  

You do you! 🙂

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