- 1 week ago
Hi Bees! If you read my lengthy post, you’re the real MVP. I want to start out by saying that I feel a little silly about this post. I know that what’s important when getting engaged is the fact that two people love each other enough that they are deciding to commit their lives to one another. At the end of the day, I know that it’s not about a ring, a proposal or a wedding. I know that most people don’t care about how you get engaged (though I genuinely do love hearing the stories) so I hope this post doesn’t come accross as if I am placing importance on the wrong things.
I put the word “special” in quotes because I understand that for some, the perfect proposal might mean it happens on the couch on a random Tuesday night, while for others, it might mean a giant flash mob at Disneyland lol. Both are equally special and I don’t think anyone should be judged either way. For me personally, I think I’ve just always envisioned something with thought put into it. That doesn’t mean I expected something grand and over the top that you’d see on instagram, but rather something that was thought about, planned ahead of time and reflective of us as a couple, no matter how big or small. My boyfriend is an introvert, so I would never expect him to do it somewhere in front of people and I would never want him to feel uncomfortable. I’ve always secretly hoped that whenever it happened, our families could be there to celebrate afterwards and I’ve begun to feel selfish for even HAVING those thoughts. I’ve seen so many bees on here say that if you know a proposal is coming, you are engaged. I definitely understand the thought but I don’t think I really feel that way. Lately, as I am waiting for a proposal to finally happen and have gotten the chance to read so many threads on this topic, I’ve really begun to question whether or not all of this is just silly.
I do not know for certain whether or not my boyfriend physically has the ring in his posession, but I assume that he does. I don’t want to ask because I’m afraid it’ll really add to the anticipation of waiting. Last week, we were talking about weddings and looking at venues online and he asked me if I wanted a “big or small” proposal. I asked him what he meant by that and he said “well some people fly their girlfriend and their families to venice for a big surprise and some people tie the ring to their pets collar at home” (his words, not mine lmao). I know for a fact that he knows I would NEVER expect something extravagant and was just using examples but I asked him which end he thought I was at. He said he thought I was probably somewhere in the middle. While he is not wrong, I suddenly feel so guilty thinking about the fact that is probably feeling so much pressure to plan the “perfect” proposal, knowing him as a person. I want it to be exciting and special for BOTH of us, not just me.
I spoke with my parents over the weekend about the fact that I can’t wait for it to finally happen/wond how it would happen. I feel silly about that too given the fact that I (and some people close to me) technically KNOW it’s coming, so why do I care how he does it? I’ve been thinking about bringing it up again and letting him know that however he decides to do it will be perfect and special and that I don’t want him to stress about it. Life isn’t a fairytale so what if that “perfect” opportunity doesn’t present itself for a while? Is it really worth it to wait for that “special” proposal or should I just say “feel free to just hand me the box whenever you get my ring if that’s what you want to do”? I don’t know if I’m making sense but I never really expected I’d “know” when it was coming, so this is new territory for me. With that said, we’ve been together over 7 years so waiting a bit longer for a memorable day isn’t the worst thing in the world. This all just feels so odd and I’m a bundle of emotions. Excited, anxious, nervous and sometimes impatient.
I’m curious to know what you all think, whether it’s that I am bat shit crazy or just for you to share your own thoughts/experience when you “knew” a proposal was coming. Did it make it any less special knowing it was coming/having others know it was coming? Did you feel silly for “wanting” a proposal?