Is it silly to want a "special" proposal?

posted 6 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3090 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

There is nothing wrong with wanting something nice. Have you talked to your boyfriend about what you envision? Make sure of course that it respects his comfort zone as well. 

Post # 3
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

danibee5683 :  I would just let him plan the proposal, he asked for your input, sounds like you agreed that you’re somewhere in the middle between extravagent and laid back, so just let him do his thing.

 

Post # 5
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Is it silly? Yes. But emotions are silly sometimes and thats totally ok! Sounds like you have a healthy perspective.

I feel the same way. Ultimately I really just love my guy and cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him. I also want a little bit of a story to tell about proposal. Something special to us and low key is fine, but definitely not in the living room lol. Same with a wedding. i dont really want one, but I know Ill regret it if I dont.

Its ok to want something a little special and I think your guy knows that and will do it right for you 🙂

Post # 8
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee

I totally get the idea of feeling “silly” ….but ya know….this guy is my person. We have been friends for 21 years…dating for 10 months. I would like something special…and it does make me feel silly/foolish even…but I am not good with words or emotions…so I often feel like an idiot for feeling things haha 

Due to the fact that I have memory issues, I think I am overly sentimental so a meaningful place or date would be a big deal to me. I have expressed this more than once to my guy and he seems to get it. 

I think you have a really healthy idea of the real world and balance. 

Do you think he would go to a friend and ask opinions? I am sure my dude would…..so my gals and I all have a pinterest board for our dream rings and proposals to give ideas when our dudes come asking the friends haha 

But also dropping hints might lead you places or it might lead nowhere…so it is a gamble. If you know you want something more grand than a home proposal, I would speak up about it in one way or another. <3 

Post # 9
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

I think what makes it special is the meaning to you! For example I would love if the ring was tied to my puppy’s collar because we both love him so much and he’s a big part of our life together and getting him was a big committment we made together. So to me, a proposal like that would fit me well and show how well my boyfriend knows me. Whereas to someone else it might seem dumb. 

If you’re worried you scared him by your response, maybe mention something to him to take the pressure off a bit? Like, I would tell him that you want it to be special but the thing you’re most excited about is getting to marry him.

Post # 11
Member
5959 posts
Bee Keeper

First – no one says if you know a proposal is coming you are engaged. It’s if you are PLANNING a wedding, you’re engaged. Since the whole point of an engagement is to start planning the wedding, it doesnt make sense that there are people out there who have venues/photopraphers paid for, dates set, etc but don’t consider themselves engaged. 

Second – I am honestly so tired of the instagram everything. I’m not saying this specifically about you OP, just as a general observation of real life and on this site. People nit pick everything about proposals and rings and weddings. Everything has to be bigger and grander and better than your friend and sister and cousin. You have to show how heartfelt it is, you have to have a photographer or it doesn’t count. Your family has to be waiting for you with champagne or you need a re-do. IDK it all just seems so stupid to me. These are the people that I find aren’t prepared for a marriage. They want a PROPOSAL and a WEDDING but put 0 thought into the actual relationship and what comes after the cameras turn off.

Ok rant over. Maybe I’m just feeling a bit jaded or cynical today lol. 

Post # 12
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee

jellybellynelly :  Oh Instagram …hahaha I used to work in social media and I am with you 100%. 

Bridal pressure…..this dream idea of what everyone SHOULD have is ruining so much. Making people feel like if they don’t do things a certain way, it isn’t legit or somehow isn’t special … drives me nuts. I think it bothers me even more since I was married oh so long ago and I caved to the pressure and did lots of things I didn’t want to (including wearing a veil) 

While I do love hearing proposal stories and seeing pics of rings…. I am not impressed by the Instagram fabrications of what a proposal or a wedding should be. 

Post # 14
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

danibee5683 :  haha, totally!! I think if you’re worried he interpreted it that way it’s worth mentioning again to clarify, even just a comment in passing that will set everyone’s mind at ease 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

Oh I would loved a sappy proposal!

 

But neither my ex husb or my fiance are that type of men. I’m . not dissappointed. They are their own men, and these preconceived  notions of what they are expected to be isn’t fair. 

Anyone genuinely choosing to  humbly ask to spend their life with you, should be valued and appreciated regardless of delivery.  The vulnerability  to express it is endearing  enough.  Jmho

 

My fiance will never write me a poem or sing me a love song, but he’s amazing 

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