(Closed) Is it still possible to start over at 35?

posted 4 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 61
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Yes, divorced in 2009 after leaving an abusive common-law marriage with three children. I was 32.   I married my husband just this past June – now age 39. We met at work and were friends…then more than friends. He treats my children as if they are his own and loves me fully and completely.    

Post # 62
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

My Mom’s cousin was 34 when she met her husband…after wasting SEVEN years with her ex! They went on to have two daughters.

I used to work with a lady who got married for the first time at age 45. Her and her husband are CFCB.

I worked with another lady who got married for the first time at 36. They went onto have two boys.

My Step-Grandmother found love again at the age of 70 after my Grandfather passed away.

It ain’t over until it’s over! Don’t sweat it Bee 🙂

Post # 63
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Hell, yes! I started over at 38. Had no trouble. I have many friends in their 40’s and over who have started over and found wonderful SO’s. Don’t ever let age make you stay in a bad relationship.

Post # 64
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Yeah I started over in my mid 30s and just got engaged to the most amazing man in the world at 37. Lots of my friends and family are the same and have disengaged from unhealthy relationships to start over at 35-40. Don’t stress about it. It’s a good time to start over because you have enough life experience to know what you want. I would never put up now with the crap I took from my first husband. It’s hard to walk away after investing time in a relationship but I am glad you realised you were just burning time in a relationship that was not going to meet your needs.  Don’t be afraid of being single for a while as it can help you figure out who you are and what you like to do with your time when you don’t have to consider someone else’s needs, wants or opinions.  That will help you build better, more satisfying relationships in future. Also, don’t worry if you feel scared about it. It is normal to feel scared about making a big change and to move from the familiar to the uncertain, so don’t equate feeling scared with anything negative or let it confuse you into wondering if you did the right thing. It sounds like you definitely did and I wish you good luck!

Post # 65
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I started over when I was about to turn 33. I was so scared of not finding anyone either. I ended a 3 year relationship that wasn’t healthy or going anywhere. I took some time off from dating to work on myself and starting dating again and met my fiance almost exactly a year after I left my ex. We got engaged after 13 months. So I’ll be getting married for the first time at 35. So thankful I had the strength and courage to leave him so I could find my partner. It’s worth it! 

The funny thing is I was so scared of dating again and of not finding anyone but when I started dating, I actually had a lot of fun and really enjoyed the process. Sometimes our mind builds up the fear but it’s not as bad as we think it’ll be. I was surprised at how quickly I adapted to my new life situation and dating again. You just have to face the fear and walk straight through it to get over it. It’s painful but not as painful as staying put because of the fear. I believe you can start over at any age. It’s not the outcome that matters so much as you living your intentions and moving in the direction you want to go in. You’ll be fine :). 

Post # 66
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Of course! 35 is still young, IMO. Assuming you’re in decent health and financial standing (i.e. not chronically ill and have a job).

A friend of mine is the perfect example. She just turned 40 and came out of a relationship she thought would end in marriage in the summer. She’s completely redecorated her house, spends so much time with her kids (one ended up getting a track scholarship and I think a lot of that had to do with the time her mom was able to invest in her training when she became single.) Also, her birthday was a few months ago and she bought herself the most gorgeous ring! (Not engagement.)

She also got promoted at work int hat she gets the better contract with the etter schedule now.

A lot of her success came because she wasn’t involved in a toxic relationship anymore. You’d be surprised how much you can accomplish when you’re surrounded with positivity and no one to bring you down!

You’ll be more than OK, :).

Post # 67
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

maxfluffy :  Well done for being brave and taking your future into your own hands. 

I know so many people who have found love and happiness in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Some had never married, others were divorced. 

I was 31 when I left my first husband, so younger than you, but I had complicating factors that posed particularl challenges. 

I had two young children and the youngest had/has severe disabilities that impact on our day-to-day life and restrict my ability to honour and on holidays etc. I really thought the best I could hope for was the odd date and a shag.

Two years later I met the man who isn’t now my husband, we’ve been together for 13 years and it is wonderful. I am looking forward to a fulfilling old age with him.

Don’t panic, don’t project the issues you’ve had with your fiancé onto new relationships, you’ll. have your down days and your doubts but you’ll be fine. 

Post # 68
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper

maxfluffy :  Yes!! I am 34 and just got married. You can find someone later. I have worked with people that got divorced at 30 and remarried later in their 30s. There’s plenty of time!! HUGS 

Post # 69
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

You can start anew at any age.  Don’t let a number defeat you.  I’m sorry things didn’t work out, but congratulate you on having the courage to move on and find your own happiness.

God bless! 😊

Post # 70
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

maxfluffy :  absolutely!

My sister was with her boyfriend for 10 years (age 23-33, he was a few years older), and it was always a strain to get him to commit to next steps. He only moved in with her when he lost his job, and finally when she was ready to buy a house and he was back on his feet, he decided that he was no longer in love with her and left her right before Thanksgiving.

She was devastated for months, but earlier this year (she’s now 34) met someone that she is madly in love with and is so much of a better match for her. They have already talked about moving in together after the holidays and what they would want for a wedding. She feels more connected to him than she ever did with her ex, and she never thought she’d feel that way about anyone again. 

You are far better off opening yourself up to someone who wants what you want, and won’t keep you waiting.

Post # 71
Member
1943 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I remember at 25 I thought I was over the hill, that my life was a mess and it was too late in general to make anything decent of it. And how absolutely ridiculous that was. I’m certain that when you’re 55 you’re gonna look back at this doubt at 35 as the silliest thing ever, that you might as well be 15 for all the time in the world you have.

You’re gonna be fine, it’s not too late for anything!!

Post # 72
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Met H just shy of my 34th birthday.  Got engaged a year later at 34, married a year after that at 35 and had a baby at 36.  I know many women 35-40 who meet someone and are married in a year.  

It sounds like you’ve grieved your relationship and it’s been over for a long time.  No reason you can’t meet someone at this stage!

Post # 73
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m 37 and just found mine <3 Before him I’d been engaged twice in my 20s and once in my 30s. 

Post # 74
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

Got divorced at 37 and went back to school. While there I met my soulmate. 40 now and never been happier. 35 is young!!

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