(Closed) Is it TACKY to….

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: bridesmaids paying for their dress is

    Tacky

    No problem/Expected

    Other, please post a response

  • Post # 77
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I paid for my bms dresses (:

    Post # 78
    Member
    536 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think if it’s feasible, the bride should pay for the dresses. If it’s not feasible, and the BMs are paying for their own dresses, then the bride should be prepared to be flexible about her “vision.” I don’t think it’s right to make someone pay for a dress that is hideous/uncomfortable/etc.

    I have been a Bridesmaid or Best Man three times. The first two times, the MOBs made the dresses, so I paid maybe $25. I’ve never worn either since. The third time, we paid for them ourselves, and I think with alterations, it was about $250. Nice dress, but I haven’t worn it again either.

    I paid for my BMs dresses because a) it was feasible. b) I wanted to make sure no one had to back out because of money (I wanted them there because of who they are, not what they can afford) c) I felt I would have more freedom in what I wanted them to wear and d) realistically, they probably won’t wear them again, so it’s a lot of money to ask someone to spend for one day.

    If it hadn’t been in our budget, I would have let them choose something in their budgets, as long as it met certain guidelines (colour, length, fabric) and gone with it. I find it distasteful when brides make the Bridal Party shell out for dresses, hair, make-up, new shoes that no one really likes except the bride. It’s one thing to have a “dream,” and it’s another thing to empty someone else’s bank account to make it happen.

    Post # 79
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think it’s a cultural and regional thing for sure. I paid for my girls’ dresses. I didn’t expect them to nor did I want them to. If the dresses were especially expensive, I would hope most brides would at least offer to pay a portion of it. I don’t know. It’s a tricky subject.

    Post # 80
    Member
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I’ve always had to pay for my own bridesmaids dresses.

    Post # 81
    Member
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Definately not tacky (at least not where i live). It is however super tacky to pick a dress for them that is way outside their budget and reduse to help pay for it! Ask your girls what theyre willing to spend, and just keep the dresses within that budget. Ive seen alot of off the rack bm dresses that look stunning, and so much better then the $300 bridal salon ones, so dont limit your selection to just bridal salons! Have fun!

    Post # 82
    Member
    1262 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    @Principessa Bunny:  Where are you from? Where I am it is expected, yet, if you are in the  UK the bride pays. So … I think that tacky is the wrong word.

    Post # 83
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee

    Bridal party pays for their own expenses.  Yes, that means they pay for their own dress, their own shoes, and you betcha, even their own airline ticket to get there!  The bride can buy her attendants jewelry to wear as her gift to them or a purse to carry, etc, but the majors are always paid for by the attendants themselves.

    Post # 84
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I live in Canada and find that this is more or less a cultural difference.. I am Asian and have been a bridesmaid 4 times now – never had to pay nor been asked to pay for my dresses.  Shoes, yes. But dresses have always been covered by the brides.  I am currently planning my wedding and I plan to pay for all my bridesmaid dresses and we are also paying for the groomsmen suit rentals.  I do have a few Caucasion friends and they tell me they have always paid for their own dresses whenever they were in a wedding party.

    Post # 85
    Member
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    It’s customary for the BMS to pay for the dress. However that’s always rubbed me the wrong way and I’m paying for my girls. However, I would not bat an eye if I had to buy my dress for their weddings.

    Post # 86
    Member
    2417 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I think it’s a cultural thing. I’ve always had to pay for my own bridesmaid dress (3 times) except one time the bride paid for half the dresses and I’ve always expected to. When she offered to pay for the half, I was surprised and almost wanted to refuse! 

    The one time I think you should absolutely pay though is if your maids set a budget with you and then you pick a dress that ia outside that budget. So if you all agree on $200 being the bm dress budget but you find a must have dress that is $300, I think that you should absorb however much goes over the set budget.  

    Post # 87
    Member
    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Im in the UK and I’ve paid just over $1200 (£750) for my BMs attire and hair. They chose the dresses but I picked the colour. In return, I’ve done all my wedding planning without help and have not had any input from either the BMs or Maid/Matron of Honor. I didn’t have a bridal shower, lunches, hen dos or any bridal event since I got engaged a year ago. My Fiance had a stag weekend arranged for him by his friends so I guess it’s a case of be careful who you choose to be in your bridal party 🙂

    Post # 88
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it’s expected (in North America, at least)

    although for a destination wedding (like I’m having) I wouldn’t expect them to pay for that on top of their travel costs.

    Post # 89
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    I think it is a cultural thing, being asian the bride is expected to purchase all the attire. I have been a bridesmaid twice and never paid for the dress and I also purchased all my bridesmaid dresses and accessories for them. 

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