(Closed) Is it tacky to…

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

you know the old saying "if you gotta ask if it’s tacky…"

not to be rude, but i would be put off if i didnt receive an invite to the TN wedding then all of a sudden rec’d a casual notice for a BBQ and it included registry info.. that would say to me "we assumed you wouldnt make the trip to TN, but here’s our registry so you can buy us something"

my cousin and his wife got married in turks & caicos and did the same thing -came back and had a huge party – no mention, not even a hint of registry was in their "casual" invitation. turns out after i called my aunt they didnt register anywhere they just wnated to include family who didnt go to turks for their wedding…

so in my own very humble tiny opinion, yes i think it is tacky

conversely, i do like it when my friends or family include the little registry card in the packet along with the invite, and on their wedd-site, but not on the invite itself…altho that’s only happend 2 times for weddings.. i find it more common for baby showers…

why dont you print your wedd-site address at the bottom of your casual invite, something like "For More Detailed Information, Please Visit our Wedd-site at ww.brideandgroom.com"  and then on your wedd-site have a place for registry info?? there are several free wedd-sites avaialble if you already dont have one weddingannouncer.com; mywedding.com; theknot.com, etc…

good luck!

Post # 4
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

i don’t know if i’d put it on the invitation… but i’d definitely put your website, and have registry info on the website.

my parents are doing the same thing – we’re having a small reception after the ceremony in our college town, but our college town is within driving distance of his hometown (45 mins). then a month or so later my parents are throwing us another reception up where i’m from, which is 6+ hours from our college town.

Post # 5
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Registery information on the invite isn’t related to how casual or fancy the wedding/reception is…you could have a reception at McDonalds and etiquette wise it’s still considered rude to put registery info. on an invite.  People who want to know will ask, or you could do the website option. 

Post # 6
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Ok, so question related to this- I’ve seen registry cards along with invitations- Is that not the etiquette? How do you let people know that you are registered otherwise? Only on the website? I’m also doig a reception after wedding abroad and we were thinking of registering.

Post # 7
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i think in the olden days — ok like the 50s, 60s, 70s, it was all done word of mouth – but remember weddings werent as "event-ish" an they are now…

i’ve rec’d registry info in bridal shower invites

if you’re not having a bridal shower, then word of mouth or wedd-site

as a guest i dont really "care" that much if it’s included in the invite packet, along with the directions, accomodations info, weather, etc  – just not on the invitation itself…  it’s really helpful in cases where i dont really know the bride’s  or groom’s parents (work friends) or if i dont haev time to call members of the Bridal Party or an aunt or something to see where they are registered…

as a bride-to-be, we’re not including any registry info in our invites, just on our wedd-site.  we dont really want any gifts, we just want our friends and fam to join us…

Post # 8
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Definitely don’t put the information on the invitation.  I think a website/word of mouth is sufficient.  If I’m not sure where someone is registered, I usually just check some of the likely places online (target, BBB, macys, crate and barrel, etc…) and can find at least one registry for them within about 5 minutes.

Post # 9
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Why not set up a website if you don’t already have one to display pics from the wedding and some personalized information for your barbeque guests to make them feel like this event is your chance to celebrate with them. Then include the registry information.

Makes them feel special, keeps your wedding what you want it to be, and still leaves the door open to presents. 

Post # 11
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I personally do think it’s tacky to include registry information on the actual invitations.

If this is like a shower, though, you could include a separate card with the information on it since you say that people can’t use the internet.

But people do generally know where to go for this type of information: your bridal party and your parents.

 

Post # 12
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

It’s fine to include registry info for showers because the point is to ‘shower’ the couple with gifts. To include it with the invite either on the invite or with little inserts (IMO) is implying that there is a price of admission! Etiquette-wise, no one has give a gift at a wedding (as opposed to a shower). Stores give out little inserts when you register because of course they want your guests to spend their money in their store but that doesn’t mean you should do it. People who wouldn’t look on your website, or check at the stores, or ask your family where your registered are probably the kind of people who don’t like buying gifts off registries and wouldn’t even if you included the inserts

Post # 13
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

If people would RSVP to your mum I’d just give her the info and then if people are unsure of what to give you they can either ask at the time they RSVP or call back later and ask.

I find registries weird in the first place though so take this with a grain of salt. The closest I’ve ever come was writing a letter to santa 😛

Post # 14
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

The only wedding event registry information should be included with is the shower – the intent of a shower is to ‘shower’ the bride with gifts, so it’s ok to mention/hint that they should bring gifts.

 

It’s NOT ok to include registry info to any sort of reception invitation, regardless if it’s the day of the wedding or not. It’s implying that you want your guests to come because they’ll bring you gifts, not that you want to celebrate with them – even if that’s not your intention.

 

The proper way to distribute registry information is via a wedd-site or word of mouth. If your guests don’t have internet access, they’ll ask where you are registered. Tell your mom/FMIL/bridesmaids – and the word will get out.

 

I’ll say it again: Formality of the event doesn’t dictate whether or not registry info is acceptable in a wedding invitation, or whether or not the ceremony has already occured. It’s never ok!

Post # 15
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

i guess i am the voice of opposition because i have received registry info with my invites so many times and i find that to be more convenient for me. I feel like it is a big "posing" thing that etiquette rules dictate, "you can register for gifts you want to receive, but don’t let people know where you did it because you don’t want to seem like you want them to buy the gifts you hand picked and put nicely together on a list that equals a REGISTRY…" what? seriously, does that not seem a little "poser" to anyone else other than me

That being said, I am not putting my registry info on my invites because i know i am the voice of the minority and don’t want people talking trash. haha! and just to add, i once went to a wedding where the couple straight up put it on their invite, "the couple (referring to themselves in third person) has not created a gift registry because they prefer gifts of cash" now THAT was rude!

Post # 16
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Pancy:

 I can see where you are coming from, but think of it this way. Would you print out the list of presents you want and put it in the invitation? Essentially that it what etiquette says you are doing if you put registry info in the invite. Just having a registry can be more compared to your parents having a list of things they know you need, so when people used to call, they would say "oh, she really needs a new set of pots" like in the time of old. 🙂

On a practical note, depending on your parent’s circle of friends,  the ones that don’t want the bother of asking about registry info may just give you cash. That’s what happened at my engagement party. So sometimes there are advantages to polite behavior.

 

 

The topic ‘Is it tacky to…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors