(Closed) Is it time to leave?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

“Is it time to leave?” 

Yes. 

Post # 3
Member
3085 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
lilylove14 :  My vote is start over. This is not an equal partnership. He’s holding your entire life and future hostage, and you’re letting him. 33 is young! Get out there and find a great guy that isn’t spinning excuses for not committing to you – they’re out there.

Post # 4
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

I posted on here about a year ago, and nothing has changed except I feel even worse. 

I usually bring up marriage about every three months and have heard every line

Some of the things he mentioned apparently had been bothering him for months, but he didn’t bring them up until I asked why he hasn’t proposed yet.

Our lease is up for renewal, so I told him that if he can’t give me a timeline, then I want my name removed from our lease.  (Therefore freeing me of finanical responsibility from our apartment.)  His response to that was, “If that’s what you want.” 

Part of me wants to believe that he wants to marry me

How? Why? You’ve known for years that he has no interest in or intention of marrying you. You’ve had your answer for well over a year now. 

I feel in my heart it’s time to move on.  I deserve someone who respects my feelings and my goals in life.

YES! You do! 33 is not too late to start over, but four years is way too long to spend with someone who’s ambivalent about you. 

It’s 2017, 33 is the new 23. Go out and have fun, and you’ll find a guy who actually treats you the way you deserve. 

Post # 5
Member
3383 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
lilylove14 :  it’s time to move on, bee. You’re right. You deserve someone who respects your feelings and goals. He’s not the one. I’m so sorry

Post # 6
Member
9755 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

He will not ever marry you. If you want children it’s time to leave and find someone who wants the same things.

Post # 7
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I think if someone says that you need to work on yourself and/or the relationship, that means he isn’t the one for you. Sorry, Bee.  

This is coming from someone who waited for five years for marriage. If someone needs a long time before proposing, they should offer clear expectations with reasons that at least somewhat make sense. My DH said that he wanted to date 5 years before marriage because he got cheated on by a longtime girlfriend and felt he needed that amount of time to really get to know and trust someone before making a lifelong commitment. I disagreed, and every six months or so after our 3-year anniversary, I asked for reassurance that everything was going well and also begged him to reconsider, but I understood where he was coming from. He proposed at 4.5 years and married me at 5.5 years. 

See the difference between that and “soon”, “trust me”, “don’t spoil the surprise”, and “work on yourself first”? There’s no clear answers. He’s just stringing you along. 

Post # 8
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2017

He has been stringing you along for years, I think you should run for the hills and wave his sorry lying little puny arse goodbye.

Post # 9
Member
3669 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

It’s time to leave. 

Post # 10
Member
3855 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I agree with everyone that it is time to go. And 33 is not too old. I met DH at 34, engaged and married at 35. We still have so much life ahead of us and so much to look forward to! Get out there and find someone who’s goals align with yours and let this guy second guess his life away. 

Post # 11
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

He’s just giving you excuses and no real answers. Time to go! 

 

Post # 12
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

Time to move on. If he wanted to marry you, he would. It might be tough to let go if you still love him but know that he isnt capable of giving you everything you want and let that be your drive to find what you deserve.

Post # 13
Member
10223 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
lilylove14 :  

The part of you that wants to believe he wants to marry you is the part where the pink unicorns that poop skittles frolic.

Not only does he not want to marry you, he doesn’t care if you leave entirety.

The relationship has run it’s course.  It’s past time to step away with your dignity intact.

Post # 14
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

It’s way past time to leave.  

Post # 15
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you know the answer to your question however,  since you asked for opinions – yes, it is time for you to leave.  For me, unless I was younger and/or in college, I would not wait four years for my man to propose giving me excuses after excuses.  It does NOT take a man four years to KNOW whether or not he wants to marry you. All of those excuses and telling you to change this and that for him to even make a move is crazy talk. I say it’s time to leave but you have to make that decision yourself. Good luck to you.

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