(Closed) Is It Too Much For DH To Skip Bach/Rehearsal When He’s a Groomsmen?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

The bachelor party is understandable to miss. I would personally be a little miffed if someone in my party was unable to attend the rehersal, but I don’t know who shedules a rehersal for early Thursday when people have to come out of town. I would let the couple know as soon as possible if you can’t attend. 

Is there any way that your Darling Husband could go ahead of you and you could follow when you can?

Post # 4
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 I think that it’s completely understandable that he would miss it given the circumstances. But isn’t the best man supposed to plan the bachelor party? If I were him I’d be kind of surprised that the groom didn’t ask if the date was good for him.

Post # 5
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Honestly the bride may be a little upset about the rehearsal, but I don’t think you’re in the wrong. Sometimes days off are just not possile and she should understand that. Have your Darling Husband call the groom and let him know as soon as possible that he will have to miss these events.

Post # 6
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think the bachelor party is OK, but not the rehearsal.  The rehearsal is always the day before the wedding so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise.  In my opinion, he MUST be there.  I think you need to talk to the family again, drive separate, or miss out.  I know that sucks…good luck and keep us posted!


Post # 7
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Can’t you skip the wedding?  You could probably use the extra rest.  If he skips the bachelor party, he can’t really miss the rehersal.

Post # 8
46417 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it is reasonable that he misses both functions. Obviously you have to have your surgery when it is scheduled.

Yes, the bride will probably freak a little when she hears he is unable to attend the rehearsal, but let’s get serious. The groomsmen don’t really DO anything unless they are also acting as ushers. I’m sure he can follow along with the other guys quite nicely without rehearsing it. She’s not going to be the first bride who was missing someone from the wedding party at a Thursday afternoon rehearsal.

Post # 9
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

One of our groomsmen won’t be able to make the rehearsal because of work and it’s fine, my Fiance and I would rather respect our friend’s work commitments and have him be at the wedding, after all he can catch up on what he missed at the rehearsal later, and if he feels really unsure about it we can have a mini-runthrough at the venue before guests start arriving. You should let the wedding couple know as soon as possible though, especially if you will also be missing a rehearsal dinner because they might need a head count.

Post # 10
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it’s ok…. we had a groomsmen skip the bach/RD and honestly I was so nervous I didn’t notice… weeks later I was like…, “wait, was X there?!?!?!?” HA! But generally the rest of the fellas can just fill him in before the wedding. If it’s like any other wedding I’ve been to, the bride/wedding will start a lil late, anyways…so there will be time. 

Post # 14
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We didn’t have a rehearsal.  I made a diagram to tell people where to stand.  They figured it out.  It’s not rocket science.

I also missed a wedding rehearsal when I was a reader in a wedding.  I couldn’t leave work early, and the rehearsal was at 4pm.  (I was able to make the dinner, though.)  I figured out when to get up and read my blurb.  Again, it’s not rocket science.

Post # 15
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I totally think missing the bach party is fine. As for the rehearsal, is it possible for him to go on ahead of you? Maybe you can get a one way flight to meet him. It’s important he is there if he can be, but if it is not possible, the bride adn groom have to understand. That’s the risk you run when you decide to have a Friday wedding. And, he’s not the best man, so his job is pretty self explanatory and easy for another groomsman to explain to him.

Post # 16
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

leebaby711 …. too funny!! Glad I’m wasn’t the only bride that did this!!

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