(Closed) Is it too much to ask my guests to wear either White/Ivory/cream or Beige?

posted 6 years ago in Beauty
Post # 18
1384 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@jdeleon14255:  Depends. How many people are invited? It could work if you don’t have so many guests. I think you can ask, but I don’t know that everyone will do it. I’m sure some guests will be glad to do it. Maybe for some, it will be hard for personal reasons and such. 

Post # 19
3231 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@jdeleon14255:  It’s too much. You’re not supposed to put any dress code on an invitation unless it’s black tie because adults know how to dress and aren’t props (like you already admit you know). If you’re instant on doing this, which I do think is too much/rude, putting it on a wedding website or spreading it via word of mouth are slightly better options. But adults know how to dress themselves and I would anticipate some people being taken aback/offended. 

Post # 20
560 posts
Busy bee

It isn’t the best thing to do, but you can…Don’t allow it to cause drama if someone forgets (or “forgets”) and comes wearing black.

Post # 24
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

If we were guests my husband would have to buy a special outfit that he would not like (he never ever wears white or pastel colors, ever) for your pictures?  I am sorry, but it is wrong to ask.

You can spin it anyway you like it but when you ask these things you ARE turning your guests into props.

Post # 26
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I certianky don’t think you should list it as the dress code. Grown adults are generally adverse to being told how to dress. It is already costing them money to attend, so I really don’t think they should have to buy a new outfit on top of that (let alone in colours they may hate and never wear again). 

I’d just worry about who attends and enjoying their company, not what they show up in. 

Post # 27
11519 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@jdeleon14255:  I”ve heard this a lot for destination weddings – the guests wear white.  You can ask, they don’t have to oblige.  I wouldn’t be offended as a guest.

Post # 28
7523 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, too much. I don’t own any white/cream/beige outfits that I can wear to a wedding. I don’t like the idea of having to go out and buy something that I would likely never wear again for a wedding. It would really stress me out if this was listed as the dress code on an invite. I would follow it because I wouldn’t want to be the odd one out but I certainly would not be pleased about it.

These are your guests- not props.

ETA: your comment about how this only happens once from 5pm-midnight really sticks out to me. You’re right, this only happens once so you are asking your guests to buy a white outfit to wear for 7 hours for one day– not worth it to me.

Post # 29
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So you are having a destination wedding that your guests pay to travel to?  And now you also want to tell them what to wear?  Do they have to parade in special colors for your special day?  It’s insulting, really.

And sorry, but your wedding is not going to be your attendee’s “best holiday ever.”  This statement is just presumptuous. 

Post # 30
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@jdeleon14255:  If you run in a crowd where all of your guests regularly go to formal “white parties” this could go okay, but I maintain that it is self-indulgent to expect your guests to dress in a highly specific way unless you want to custom tailor an outfit for each of them.

Post # 31
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jdeleon14255:  “but it happens once… only once .. for one day.. from 5pm till midnight.. the rest of the trip  im organising trips / water sports and tours around the island.. i like to think this will be the best holiday ever! for a lot of people”

Personally, I hate shopping.  If I have a dress in my closet that is appropriate for an event, then I’m thrilled to avoid shopping for it.  A color-based dress code like this would drive me craaaaaaaaazy and I would ignore it.  Sorry Charlie, but it’s too much to ask.

Also, I promise you that for most people a trip planned to someone else’s specifications will not be “the best holiday ever!”.  I would much rather decide how to spend my travel resources (budget and vacation time) than have it be dictated by someone else’s wedding.

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