Post # 107

Member
3 posts
Wannabee
I believe it’s different from the “all-white” party mentioned above because in the case of an all-white party the guests are implicitly agreeing to be props, as it were. That’s fine, because the color choice is the raison d’etre of the party.
A wedding, however, is about more than “guests as actors in a play.”
Post # 108

Member
517 posts
Busy bee
@Sephiroth: The only thing I could think of reading this post was “woooosahhh”
Post # 109

Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
@jdeleon14255: as a poster who didn’t call you a name and tried to offer constructive advice and solutions, your recent post is pretty rude. If you think some bees responded more negatively than you deserve, it’s better to call them out directly or at least acknowledge that some of us gave opinions trying to be helpful and let you know how guests may react. asking for opinions then saying if your guests don’t like it then they just shouldn’t come doesn’t come off well.
Post # 110

Member
97 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: April 2015 - Shangri La Boracay and Spa Hotel
@Shkragoldfish: in my view im not forcing anyone to come,.. it is ALOT to ask for someone to fly out .. and me reacting is the way people are reacting to me an putting me in this selfish light ….
will i cry if they said ‘we cant come’ ‘ we wont wear white’ … no i wont cry will i be mad? nope …
but its true.. if they cant afford to fly .. i wont be hurt or upset if anything i understnad doesnt mean if i would do it for you that I they should do the same. but if they decide to come thats their choice … and if they know that they may have to wear wear a light colour.. again does not mean white but maybe cream ivory champange whatever it is and they are not happy with it cause they think Im asking too much then of course they can wear a differetn colour. Just dont like people making out that im one selfish diva!
Post # 111

Member
97 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: April 2015 - Shangri La Boracay and Spa Hotel
@Sephiroth: wow youre angry sorry if this has offended you.
Post # 112

Member
97 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: April 2015 - Shangri La Boracay and Spa Hotel
@CurlyCue: awww thank you very much! i was in two minds anyways .. yes I would LOVE to have my guests be in white or cream or beige .. but it is that ‘asking ‘ side of things… i will regret not trying to asking .. it is our day but we of course want people to be happy to wear the colours
Post # 113

Member
13885 posts
Honey Beekeeper
@jdeleon14255: You lose the right to have it be about only your vision the moment you invite guests. At that point, you are not only a bride, but you are a host, with the responsibilities that come with that role.
It is obvious from the results of this thread that a good number of people will see a request like this in a negative way. That begs the question, why wouldn’t you care? A vision should never come at the expense of others. That is just wrong.
On another note, the appropriate clothing for a formal event is formalwear, just as the appropriate clothing for a barbecue is casual. A “black tie” invitation simply makes note of the formality of the occasion and it is up to the guest to have the common sense to dress themselves accordingly. There is no type of affair where men and women typically dress in all white, ivory, cream or beige semi formalwear.
Post # 114

Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
My only problem with it is that most people probably don’t have anything wedding appropriate in those colors because you wouldn’t typically wear them to a wedding. Personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking my guests to wear something they would have to go and purchase especially for the occasion – but I get what you mean, those pics look lovely!
Post # 115

Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
“I have clothes that are appropriately dressy 90% of the time. If your occasion (wedding or otherwise) is one where the vision of the event is so specific that I don’t currently own desired attire, then I’m probably happier staying home and saving my time, effort and money for occasions where I’m appreciated for me rather than my wardrobe”
I so agree with this. I would hate to have to spend money to get there and then be simply props to an occasion. If you feel that strongly about it why don’t you suggest that in lieu of a gift, they spend the money on an “appropriate” outfit so they don’t mar your happiness with a red dress.