- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So I had asked FI’s cousin to be a bridesmaid back in October, she happily said yes and seemed excited. She constantly asked about dress shopping, wedding plans, etc. and seemed great. When I asked her to go dress shopping in Dec., she immediately said yes, she could. The day before the day came, I texted her asking her for the time she would like to go, and she said she was actually not sure if she could still go because her boyfriend wanted to hang out, but she’d let me know for sure. I was kind of hurt, but said ok. I never heard back from her.
I was texting the other bridesmaids at the same time, and Future Sister-In-Law (who’s also a bridesmaid and close to their cousin) asked if the cousin was coming, and I said I wasn’t sure yet but she was gonna let me know. A few minutes later, Future Sister-In-Law said, “Nope she’s not coming.” I said, oh ok, with no questions asked.
Cousin never let me know anything and we went dress shopping the next day without her. I was kind of frustrated because I felt like it was disrespectful of her to not even let me know she wasn’t going for sure. Didn’t hear from her ’til I saw her at a family event and she didn’t mention the situation at all.
The day after Future Sister-In-Law and I went dress shopping, I sent out an email to the girls who needed dresses (including Cousin) asking them to please let me know when they could go. They all set up a date and Cousin just said she’d let me know.
About a week later, I again asked Cousin if she could go dress shopping in a week. She said she didn’t think so, because she was going out of town with her boyfriend.
A couple more weeks passed, and I noticed that with the last group of girls who went to get their dresses, the estimated arrival time was 2 weeks before my wedding. I told Cousin this and that I really needed for her to let me know when she could go order her dress, and she then told me she wasn’t sure how she was going to afford the dress and she didn’t know what to do. I told her that I planned on paying for the bm’s hair and make-up, so couldn’t afford to pay for dresses and alterations as well, so if she didn’t think she could afford it, she could let me know. I reassured her that I wouldn’t be mad if she had to drop out, and that I’d rather know the truth because it was getting me stressed out that she didn’t have a dress yet. She said ok, she’d let me know.
Nearly a month later and she still hasn’t “let me know” her decision. I since then have replaced her (I was venting to my co-workers about the situation and one volunteered to be in the wedding… she was actually someone I wanted to ask but didn’t think she’d want to be in it because she’s 10+ years older than me, so I was actually happy and excited to have her volunteer and accepted the offer, I know it sounds weird…). My co-worker even went and got her dress the day after she volunteered.
Also, Cousin moved away a week ago like 8 hours away. I talked to her in person the day before she moved and she never brought up the wedding.
So I’m just not sure if I should even tell her not to expect to be in my wedding? Or is it just understood she’s not in it anymore…? Considering I told her she had to order her dress in the next week… and it’s now waaaaay past due. It’s just so rude that she never “LET ME KNOW”!!!!