(Closed) Is it unreasonable to want to pick out your own engagement ring??

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t think it’s unreasonable. I personally like the thought of him picking something out that he thinks would be perfect. I have told my SO that I trust him and anything he picks out, I’m sure I’ll love. But I have told him what to avoid.

Post # 63
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee

I was kind of in the same boat as you are in now. And boyyyy am I glad I showed him rings I liked and pointed out why I liked certain parts of them, because the one he had in mind was totally NOT my style in any way! I’m a simple girl, and for sure without a doubt wanted a princess cut….and then I had a couple styles of rings I liked but I wasn’t set on one. The one he said he had in mind had too much going on for me (beautiful ring, just not me at all), and wouldn’t have looked good with a princess stone. Then he told me to go get sized because he had one in mind, and it turned out that when I went with a girlfriend of mine to get sized, I was different sizes depending on the store and depending on the maker of certain e-rings. I unfortunately fell absolutely in love with a ring at Wedding Day Diamonds (a Verragio band…Insignia 7050 if anyone is curious) in a style that had a little more going on than I thought I’d like and told the future Fiance that I was different sizes and had fallen in love with one……he then said that the one he had in mind was from WDD and ended up being similar to the one I loved but not the same in a few aspects, so he changed his mind and went with the one I picked out I guess. I told him that although I loved the ring I fell in love with, the decision was ultimately up to him!!!!! I have not recieved it yet, but I’m thinking soon! Ohhhhh to be in waiting…knowing he already has it in the making!

Then brought my second issue with the ring I loved — there was a matching band but I did not like the way it looked with the e-ring. SOOOO when him and I went into the store together, we decided on two very small single straight bands (one to go on each side of the e-ring…because hello to my OCD, it looks more ‘even’ with one band on each side). I will get one soldered on, and the other one I’m not sure yet…..I have to wear the e-ring first because I don’t know whether the ring is going to catch on gloves (I’m a nurse) and I don’t want it to get into something…..so if I left one of the bands un-soldered, I could wear the thin band to work and the other stuff with it all the other times.

Post # 64
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My Fiance showed me the ring i would like.  I wanted to be different then everyone else!!  Well he purchased it and it was a long ass wait for the purposal but worth it!!  He picked it out and i loved it and i dont see anyone else wearing the same ring so it is unique!!

Post # 65
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Riverviews Art Space

SUPER APPROPRIATE.

Post # 66
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

i wouldn’t think it’s a bad thing! i picked mine out.

Post # 67
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I found several online and emailed to him. One day we were in the mall, I wanted to see carat size so we went into Kays. Ending up finding my ering and matching band. He DID ask to see the set first.

So glad we chose it together. I cried in the store.

Post # 68
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I showed my guy the most beautiful ring ever, and he got it for me. Maybe if you just tell your boyfriend what you like, then he’ll know:)

Post # 70
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee

@LabDarling:  

How do you tell them that you want to have a say in the ring decision? Or is that not appropriate?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all. After all, you’re the one who’s going to wear it every. single. day. for the rest of your life.

Just tell him — nicely. Or do what I did and tell him afterwards.

….I waited until after DH proposed to tell him I wanted white gold instead of the yellow gold he proposed with. He didn’t mind at all. We ended up taking the diamond out and placing it in an entirely different setting that I chose. I am picky about jewelry and I loved being able to spend endless weeks and months poring over all the choices until I finally found something I loved.

 

Post # 71
Member
2875 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@Elm tree:  same here (engagement was unexpected) although he asked questions about whether I preferred pearls or colored stones (I guess he didn’t want me to know he was talking about diamonds)

Post # 72
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

DH and I picked out my ring together. We discussed ring ideas and then went to the store to try some on and pin down what we wanted. We basically picked out the exact ring together, DH just chose a slightly bigger stone when he went back to buy it.

Post # 73
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@juliette.eliza:  Exactly this!

Post # 74
Member
6734 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I got to design my own ring, but he had some specifications he wanted.  For instance, he said he didn’t want to get me anything smaller than a 2ct.  I told him what style (round) and what setting I wanted.  We’re currently working on getting it custom made and I’m working with a jeweler who will get the Amora H+A Gem for the center stone (which I learned about thanks to the bee boards and told him about and he’s all for it).  It’s sort of a decision we’ve made together, like everything else in life. 

Post # 74
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I was really nervous about shopping for engagement rings together. I didn’t want to go to a store and have either one of us get dissapointed by wha tthe other thought was a resonable choice. I also didn’t want any kind of awkwardness with a salesperson. So I guess online was the only option left. I did some research and found this online jewelry called Four Mine– their site is fourmine.com — that sends you styles to try before you buy. I tried my faves out at home. Saw them all with my fiance and left the final decision up to him. I still got an amazing surprise and I was able to play a part in the decision. Try it out- they send rings completely free and you can order the real ring online only if you love it! 

Post # 75
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Edit: Just realized this thread is from 3 years ago. Never mind!

  • This reply was modified 6 years ago by InspieLass.

The topic ‘Is it unreasonable to want to pick out your own engagement ring??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors