(Closed) Is it unusual for the woman to choose her own ring & diamond?

posted 12 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’ve been worried about the same thing!  SPC Sierra asked me for pictures of rings that I really like and I feel awkward doing that because I don’t want him to think that the stone size in the picture is the size I’m expecting him to get me.  (I’m not expecting anythnig, yes, there are some wants :), but I’m not expecting anything in particular)…  My band is going to be one that my father had given my mother-it’s gorgeous yellow gold w. channel set diamonds 🙂 BUT, for the center stone-that’s all up in the air because I’m afraid of being presumptuous! 😉

Post # 18
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I picked mine out! He asked me if X carat was big enough for a center stone, but he’d already showed it to me and I kinda figured that’s what I’d gotten! He wanted to make sure I absolutely positively loved it. He knows how picky I am about jewelry, particularly a ring I plan on wearing forever! We went ring shopping for the setting and he bought it right then and there for me after he proposed with the solitaire. He still wanted the element of surprise I guess.

Post # 19
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We went diamond shopping together, and I picked the stone!  I knew what I was looking for and his budget and we looked at stones in that budget until we found one!

Post # 20
12 posts

I picked out my ring too!  Get tons of compliments and know that it’s absolutely the ring I’ll love for the rest of my life. 

Post # 21
219 posts
Helper bee

My fiance and I looked at rings a while before we got engaged. I knew my Fiance wanted to actully design the ring himself so we window shopped and browsed. He worked with a jeweler and designed the entire thing. He did an amazing job and he totally surprised me. I love my ring and all the little details that went into it to make it mine.

I don’t think its odd if a girl gets to provide input on their ring. Its something they’ll be wearing forever.

Post # 22
4 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

My fiance and I are choosing my engagement ring together…not because I don’t trust his judgment, but rather because of the “deer-in-the-headlights” look he got on his face when we stepped into the first store and the salesman asked “how many carats are you looking for? White gold or platinum? Round or princess cut?”

I don’t think it’s unusual at all. While it’s definitely nice for the guy to do the choosing on his own, shopping together ensures that you get a ring you love at a price that doesn’t make him cry like he does while watching Field of Dreams.

Post # 23
18 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

Surprise proposals date from the original DeBeers diamond engagement ring marketing campaign. They found that if women chose the ring, they would spend less, so they romanticized the ideal engagement as a surprise.

I designed my ring, pretty much on my own. No surprises here. And we were both very happy about it, because we were sure that was exactly what I wanted.

Post # 24
39 posts
  • Wedding: January 2010

I picked my ring out but my Fiance did have some input. I’m only wearing one ring so he wanted the diamonds in the band to be larger than I wanted and he pulled a veto on my eternity band idea because he thought I would lose some of the diamonds over time. He also suggested the stones be channel set so they are more secure.

HMMMM now that I’m thinking he pretty much put the details of the ring together, I just pointed in the right direction!

Post # 25
5 posts
  • Wedding: September 2009

You are going to wear it the rest of your life, so it better be what you want! (Within reason) I am getting ready to get married for the second time( and the last time!), and we both have children, so we had discussed it before had somewhat, but when the time came it was just something I wanted to be involved in. I love jewlery and am somewhat particular. I figured it was better to go and give my input than have him surprise me with something that I wasnt crazy about. The ring is a big deal and a huge part of the whole process. It doesnt have to be about the money, you pick something you love within his budget, but it is going to be your ring. Once we picked it out we bought it right there on the spot and he just kept it for a while so when the time to propose came there was still a little of the surprise element.

Post # 26
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We went shopping together for my ring. First off, I didn’t have a solid idea of the kind of ring I wanted. I had a few general ideas of what I liked, however, when we got to the jewelry store, all things changed.

It’s not that I didn’t trust him to buy me a nice ring, but I just wanted it to be THE RIGHT ONE! And when we saw this ring, we both just knew it was THE ONE. We purchased it that day.


Post # 27
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Is it bad hat I’ve done pretty much all of the planning/designing/dreaming about the ring and Fiance has just done the budgeting? lol, I think he likes it that way, gives him more time for fishing and XBox (and no, we are not 17… he’s 28 and plas XBox… sigh, lol). He just wants me to be happy. I know the budget and I am working within that, he will just put down the debit card and then “surprise” me with it later. I think its the best of both worlds!

Post # 28
123 posts
Blushing bee

I picked out everything, I am too much of a control freak!

Post # 29
3579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It is NOT weird at all and VERY common!

I picked mine out!

I have a friend who got engaged without the ring because he wanted a surprise proposal but wanted her to pick the ring! The down side to that is it took 3 whole weeks to get the ring on her finger so I was adamant that the ring has to be my size when he proposes because I don’t want to give it back!!!!!

Post # 30
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I actually wish I had been more involved in my ring decision…We went looking once at a store but I was honestly so excited and flustered that I couldn’t give an opinion about anything! So eventually I told him I liked a round center stone and diamonds on the band in some form, which is basically exactly what he did…I love my ring but it’s probably not what I would’ve picked out had I gone with him to specifically choose a ring…most likely would have picked a halo setting with a thinner band but oh well, what can you do?? Which is why having a big role in picking out your ring is a great idea! 🙂

Post # 31
271 posts
Helper bee

Personally, I like the whole element of surprise. I will give some hints and I will give a rough description on the stone that I prefer, but that is it. I want to be surprised and I think that is a very important aspect of a proposal.

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