(Closed) Is it weird/ bad to ask my bridesmaids to wear flats?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I say go for it! My BM’s are all very short. They wanted to wear heels but since I myself was wearing flats and I am short as well, I thought it would look weird being shorter than everyone else. We found some really cute silver sandals for them to wear and the pics turned out great! Go with what you want, it is YOUR day! πŸ™‚ Here are a few pics where you can see the sandals and how the group picture looked.



Post # 4
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I had two thoughts – one is that, flats are a totally fine request from a bride to her bridesmaids. They also will look fine. I went to a wedding this past weekend where they all wore short dresses and flats, though their were matching. They commented that it was more comfortable since they were standing so much. Plus, flats can be cute too!

My other thought is this – what about reallllly short heels. Like two inch kitten heels or something. That way they still get the “look” of heels without becoming super tall. If that’s a good compromise for the one you think may worry about her legs looking short or whatever.

I myself am tall (I’m 5’10) and also very low-maintenance, so if this was requested of me I wouldn’t even hesitate. I would actually be GLAD because I don’t like wearing heels unless I choose specifically to do so that day. πŸ˜‰ haha.

However, I wouldn’t mention that it was because of all the height drama and dilemma, etc. Just tell them you, as the bride, would like them to wear flats to achieve the “look” you are going for. No need to get into all the reasons and then have them argue back about whatever. Normally I’m not a “you’re the bride, you tell them what to do” poster, but on this small issue, I am. It’s just shoes. I don’t know why they’d be upset really…..

Post # 5
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

i think it depends on the formalness of your wedding to be honest.

I’m 5’11” and I wore 4″ heels and was taller than the Groomsmen I walked with for my cousin’s wedding.

Post # 6
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s a reasonable request but I wouldn’t be surprised to get some pushback.

There is nothing like a heel to lengthen the leg and give a nice line to the calf.

Girls with heavier calves look even heavier with flats so don’t try to kid them that they will look cute. Just ask them to do it for you and your Fiance.

Post # 7
10589 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was joking around with the girls about how I should have made them all wear flats.  I’m short, and have some chronic pain problems including issues with my feet, so my heels weren’t very high.  My sister (who is much taller) loves her 4″ heels!  To be honest, I didn’t really care though, and I think legs tend to look better with heels so I let them wear what they liked.

If you’re worried about a huge height difference, tell them to wear flats!  I know my sister wouldn’t have had an issue if I seriously requested her to.

Post # 8
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It’s reasonable, but I wouldn’t be happy if I were asked to wear flats. I am already short and need a heel to lengthen my legs. Also, I don’t find flats all that comfortable (not enough arch support).

Post # 9
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m 5’3″, so I really prefer to wear heels, but would suck it up and wear flats for a good friend.

Post # 11
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think it’s fine, just so long as you don’t single just one girl out and tell her she has to wear them because she’s too tall. If everyone’s gotta wear them, I think it’s totally acceptable!

Post # 12
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My fiance is only two inches taller than me so I’m wearing flats.. my sister and best friend are right at his height… the groomsmen are all 6’… but i asked the girls to wear flats bc i didn’t want my fiance and I to be totally shorty’s compared to everyone else… they agreed without hesitation.. I found some super cute flats and bought a pair for all of us.. my way of saying thank you for doing this for me πŸ™‚

Post # 13
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

The girl’s dresses are going to be long, so I really have no preference on their shoes! I was going to ask for a cute classic pump or something in red or black. But it doesnt really matter, rather them be comfy and have a good time! =)

I’d honestly be more picky if my girl’s ended up with a shorter dress though and probably would not go the “flat” route! But they’d be welcome to wear some for the Reception!

Post # 14
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Now Jade Riviera, Puerto Morelos Mexico

TOTALLY ok for you ask them to wear flats! it’s YOUR wedding. and especially since your Fiance and groomsmen are short…it’s totally understandable for you to NOT want them to be 6 inches taller than the guys! they should all understand.

Post # 15
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think it would be fine to ask them to wear flats if you genuinely just liked the look of flats.  However you are wanting them for aesthetically pleasing reasons which I find rude.  People come in all different shapes and sizes and I think we should accept them as that.  To me, your request is no different from asking an overweight Bridesmaid or Best Man to stand at the back so her weight doesn’t show up in photos, or asking a balding Groomsmen to wear a hat.  

Post # 16
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When I’m a bridesmaid, I always tell the bride that I would wear a trash bag if she asked me to…however, I’ mabout 4’11”, and I would probably be irritated if she asked me to wear flats because flats make me look as wide as I am tall and it would make me uncomfortable.  However…I would suck it up and do it anyway.  πŸ™‚  I’m a big fan of giving the girls a color and letting them go nuts.

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