Is it weird I don't want to tell my 'how he proposed' story?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
9100 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I have no problem with anyone keeping it a secret. What happens in your life is none of my business, really.

But if you said to me, “I want to keep that between us” I’d immediately assume it was in some horrible way and you’re just too pissed off about it to talk, and I’d always look at your SO trying to figure out what he did wrong.

Post # 32
Member
620 posts
Busy bee

If you want to keep it to yourself then definately do. Just say its something you are keeping between yourselves.

Unfortunately these days people are so judgmental on proposals and base the mans love on how much he spent on the proposal or how much effort he put into planning it. I wish I kept it so myself when it came to some friends I told. They can be rude and put it down which is negative energy no one needs.

Post # 33
Member
11652 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I doubt they’re looking for personal details, it’s a fairly benign, social question meant to impart interest in your life.

if you respond to that that you want to keep it personal, I’m afraid people will wonder what made you think you needed to be rude. 

Post # 34
Member
709 posts
Busy bee

I’m the same. I just give a very brief description that goes something like this: we went out to a nice dinner and afterwards he asked. Of course this wasn’t how it really happened (well the dinner part is true kinda) but no one needs to know details and everyone is satisfied with that answer.

Post # 35
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

I think I will tell family and close friends, but I have no plans to blast our personal engagement story out on social media or anything, so I definitely feel the same to an extent.

Post # 36
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

Someone in the past asked a similar question, and the consensus seemed to be that you can keep it vague, but if you specifically state that you want it to be private, people might assume that you are keeping something in particular secret from them, e.g. “he asked during sex” or “it was not impressive and we don’t want to talk about it.”

Come up with a one or two sentence version– “he surprised me while we were out on a walk,” or “he asked at home one night while we were cozying up after dinner.” You don’t have to go into specific things he said or did, but I think the best way to optimize your privacy is to satisfy the other person with just a little bit of information and keeping the full, beautiful picture to yourself. 🙂

Post # 37
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

litttlemisslamb :  Most people are just asking to be polite and don’t want to know any details.

Exactly. A vague answer and change in topic is all that’s needed. Saying that you want to keep the proposal details private just makes it sound like there was something weird about it.

Post # 38
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

Ugh, I’m dreading story time, too. Like, that’s no big effin deal to me, anyway, I’m not gonna get off on telling the same story a zillion times, annoying. I’m just gonna tell everyone he gave me the ring after we ate a bucket of fried chicken, the end (which is the ideal way it’d go down for me . . .). Lol

Aaaaanyway, I agree with the others. “It was sweet and I love how it happened, but I’d like for it to just be for us to remember and think about.”

Post # 39
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

There is nothing wrong in keeping your proposal to  yourself.    It is all good.

Post # 40
Member
1759 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

minnesotabride17 :  “I was fine with sharing our story as my now husband was SO SERIOUS when he starting talking I thought he was breaking up with me!!!  LOL! “

😂

Post # 41
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

DeepThought42 :  I think you definitely have the right to keep it personal and private, but i would say a little more than “it’s just something for us/i want it to stay between us/etc” because people might jump to conclusions. For example, one of my girlfriends told me her Fiance proposed, and the first thing I asked was how he proposed. She told me something similar like “well, I just kind of want that moment to stay between us.” I understood and didn’t push for any more information. She did end up telling our friend group years later after it happened, and he did it over a romantic dinner for just the two of them, but we all told her that we either A. Thought he did it like during sex or something, hence her not wanting to tell us that or B. She was unhappy with the proposal, hence not wanting to tell us about it. It was neither of those two things, but I guess we weren’t really sure why else someone wouldn’t want to share that? But now that I know, I don’t think I would jump to conclusions if another friend tells me that in the future. 

Post # 42
Member
2043 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve been married twice and neither time during my engagement period did anyone pressure me to give details on the proposal. Now, some people wanted to see that ring– but no one really pressured any answer on the actual proposal.

Post # 43
Member
1930 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I don’t understand this completely, because I do not have the same feelings about our proposal. Yes, it was our moment, just the two of us, but I don’t feel that others knowing how it took place cheapens it or takes away from that. However, I do not tell people all the things he told me when he proposed, because that is much more personal than the way he did it. Maybe provide the base details, but keep the personal bits to yourself?

Related story, I was telling my SIL and my mom how Darling Husband proposed.

Me: “He took me on the nature trail at sunset, told me he loved me and some other things, and then he knelt on one knee.”

My mom: “And some other things? You don’t remember what he said?”

It was so funny, because I do remember what he said, but I was omitting some of the details, because the actual words were for us.

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