(Closed) Is it weird that I am hurt by this?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 33
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee

@happilyeveraftergirl:  I just read the posts and I didn’t see where any asks the following question:

Did your Fiance ask for your parents permission BEFORE proposing?  Did they say no and he asked anyway?  Is this adding to the pressure.  I’m in the south of the US…this totally happened to my cousin, guy asked permission, uncle said they were too young, he asked anyway…caused a s*it storm UGH.

Sorry to hear about this

Post # 35
Member
7960 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@happilyeveraftergirl:  i have a feeling that there is something more to your parents’ reasoning than just age.  i would flat out ask them why they don’t want to meet your fi’s parents.  if they mention the age factor, tell them that’s just an excuse, not a legitimate reason.

Post # 36
Member
8373 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@paula1248:  +1.  I agree with you.  There has to be more to this story than what the parents are telling the OP. 

Post # 40
Member
7960 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@happilyeveraftergirl:   tell them that your plan is that you and your fi would like to start a family earlier than later and of course, would like to be married when you do so. 

may i ask how old your parents are?

Post # 41
Member
7802 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I tend to think there is something else your parents are upset about. Your sister is younger than you are, yet your parents are willing to meet her SO’s parents? And they actually believe that your sister will wait 7+ years (you didn’t specify her age, just that she is younger) to get engaged? I wouldn’t even believe my own child if they wanted me to meet an SO’s parents and then told me they wouldn’t be getting engaged for another 7 years! That’s ridiculous. Why even bother to have the parents meet if the couple will be waiting that long?

So either your parents are complete fools (pardon my saying) for believing this, or they actually dislike your fiance for different reasons. Either way, I’d sit them down and have a discussion to get to the bottom of it. And because of distance, my folks didn’t meet my DH’s folks until the wedding. That isn’t a prerequisite. Both his parents and mine were delighted with our marriage, but them meeting wasn’t really a priority for anyone. 

 

Post # 46
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

OP, I’m so sorry about your situation. I can’t imagine how I would feel if my parents weren’t supportive. THough, to put it harshly, I think you are making youself seem younger by letting them call the shots. You need to go to them and tell them how it’s going to be. You said you weren’t raised in a traditional household, so speaking up to your parents regarding your wedding shouldn’t make them upset or feel disrespected. Tell them that no matter what they think, this is the choice you have made, and that you want them by your side and to support you. SPEAK UP!! Tell them they are acting childish. Act like the adult you are and take control of your life. Don’t let your parents’ crappy attitude ruin your wedding planning! I wish you the best. 

The topic ‘Is it weird that I am hurt by this?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors