Post # 1
My brother’s wedding was this weekend and for the ceremony I was not given an assigned seat. I was also the only immediate family member not included in the wedding party, but that is another story. For the ceremony I had to sit in the second to last row. My mom’s bookclub members were closer to the alter. Everyone I have talked to has said that this was weird, embarassing, insulting etc. What do you all think. Should the sister of the groom have an assigned seat? My brother and I are not particularly close, but we see each other often and don’t dislike each other… or so I thought. Please let me know your opinions on this. I am feeling slighted. The Husband of the sister of the bride sat in one of the first rows because he was told ahead of time that there were no assigned seats so he needed to come early. I came up with the weding party because I helped with the photos, and was not told until I asked, by which time almost all of the seats were taken.
Post # 3
I have never heard of assigned seating for a ceremony, however it is kind of common knowledge that family gets the first 2 rows… I’m sorry you are feeling hurt, but since there is nothing that can be done about it now, I suggest just forgetting about it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Fireflysushi: It sounds more like your brother didn’t really know to tell you to come early since they didn’t save a row for the bride’s sister’s husband. I know it’s hard not to take it personally but I don’t think it was an intentional slight. This should have been discussed and worked out at the rehearsal but guys (i.e. your brother) usually don’t think about things like that. They pretty much just show up and get married.
Post # 5
Usually the first row or two are reserved for close family, and even if there aren’t blocked off people know not to sit there. It sounds more like a simple oversight than anything with deeper meaning. I can see why you would feel a bit hurt, but try not to take it so hard, I’m sure it wasn’t on purpose.
Post # 6
Why didn’t you just walk up to the first two rows and sit down there?
Post # 7
@Kit_Kath: Agree with everything you said!
Post # 8
@MissMay3003: I was helping with the bridal party and by the time I asked if I had a seat and was told no, all seats were taken.
Post # 9
@Baroness_Meg: +1 my thoughts exactly. I think the other guests are more in the wrong then your brother. You don’t sit anywhere near the front if you are not family!
Post # 10
Thank you all for the comments, they are helping me get over it. It just hurt that I wasn’t in the bridal party (which I totally understood, and realize that it’s her descision, but it still sucked being asked if I was a bridesmaid 20 x). It also kind of sucked that they planned it during the time when I am in school- I also totally get that they could pick whatever season they wanted and I am not that important, but the bride freaked out when her sister planned her wedding when she was in nursing school, and she did the same exact thing to me. This was just one more thing added to the list. I know I should get over all of this, but it just stings right now, so it is good to get reinforcement from you all.
Post # 11
@Fireflysushi: Then this makes it even easier to answer, this was totally an oversight and while it would have been nice for someone to save you a seat it probably wasn’t high on your brother or the bride’s list. They probably assumed that someone would leave you a spot. TBH I’m not sure that I would have even thought of this and I’m pretty detail oriented.
If I had to point blame (which is kind of worthless at this point) I think the other guests are in the wrong here- they shouldn’t have sat in the seats in the first row or two. Maybe even the ushers if they told people to sit there.
Don’t dwell on this one, IMHO it’s not worth giving it another second of thought. Just move on.
Post # 12
Everyone likes to make other people’s weddings about them, but they aren’t. A wedding is about the couple. It’s just unnecessary drama to worry about where you sat. With a big group, someone always gets the back row. Any complaining about it will just come off as not being supportive of the union. Weddings have tons of stress and details, and pleasing everyone is impossible. Sulking about it will just aggravate the couple who put work and money into sharing a day with loved ones only to have people ungrateful and hurt over petty oversights.
Post # 13
I’d blame your parents for not saving you a seat!
Post # 14
I think you sort of answered your own question when you said that the bride’s sister’s husband was told there was no assigned seating. It wasn’t a slight against you personally, because it sounds like no one else had assigned seating either.
I agree with MissMay3003, I think if anything, it was a faux pas on the part of the guests who sat in those rows. It’s definitely unfortunate that you didn’t get to sit in the front and maybe an oversight of the bride/groom/wedding party/whoever to have not reserved those spots ahead of time for family, but I really think you’re taking it way more personally than it was intended.
Post # 15
I’ve never been to a wedding with assigned seats, but reserved rows, definitely. The first two rows should have been reserved for family. And like others have said, the other guests were rude. Aside from just not sitting there in the first place, they should have got up and given you their seat when they saw you didn’t have a spot.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
We didn’t bother to reserve any rows at our wedding because in my mind, it’s common knowledge that immediate and extended family get to sit in the first couple rows.
I think it’s really rude of the other guests to take up those seats, but not necessarily your brother & SIL’s fault. Sorry you’re feeling badly – I’m sure they assumed there’d be a place for you in the front!