(Closed) Is it weird that I didn't have an assigned seat? feeling hurt :(

posted 5 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Should the sister of the groom have an assigned seat at the ceremony?
    Yes, You are family : (48 votes)
    57 %
    No of course not : (28 votes)
    33 %
    Other...Please explain : (8 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have never heard of assigned seating for a ceremony, however it is kind of common knowledge that family gets the first 2 rows… I’m sorry you are feeling hurt, but since there is nothing that can be done about it now, I suggest just forgetting about it.

    Post # 4
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @Fireflysushi:  It sounds more like your brother didn’t really know to tell you to come early since they didn’t save a row for the bride’s sister’s husband.  I know it’s hard not to take it personally but I don’t think it was an intentional slight.  This should have been discussed and worked out at the rehearsal but guys (i.e. your brother) usually don’t think about things like that.  They pretty much just show up and get married.

    Post # 5
    1328 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Usually the first row or two are reserved for close family, and even if there aren’t blocked off people know not to sit there.  It sounds more like a simple oversight than anything with deeper meaning.  I can see why you would feel a bit hurt, but try not to take it so hard, I’m sure it wasn’t on purpose.


    Post # 6
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Why didn’t you just walk up to the first two rows and sit down there?  

    Post # 7
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    @Kit_Kath:  Agree with everything you said!

    Post # 9
    4771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Baroness_Meg:  +1 my thoughts exactly.  I think the other guests are more in the wrong then your brother.  You don’t sit anywhere near the front if you are not family!

    Post # 11
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @Fireflysushi:  Then this makes it even easier to answer, this was totally an oversight and while it would have been nice for someone to save you a seat it probably wasn’t high on your brother or the bride’s list. They probably assumed that someone would leave you a spot.  TBH I’m not sure that I would have even thought of this and I’m pretty detail oriented.


    If I had to point blame (which is kind of worthless at this point) I think the other guests are in the wrong here- they shouldn’t have sat in the seats in the first row or two.  Maybe even the ushers if they told people to sit there.


    Don’t dwell on this one, In My Humble Opinion it’s not worth giving it another second of thought.  Just move on.

    Post # 12
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    Everyone likes to make other people’s weddings about them, but they aren’t.  A wedding is about the couple.  It’s just unnecessary drama to worry about where you sat.  With a big group, someone always gets the back row.  Any complaining about it will just come off as not being supportive of the union.  Weddings have tons of stress and details, and pleasing everyone is impossible.  Sulking about it will just aggravate the couple who put work and money into sharing a day with loved ones only to have people ungrateful and hurt over petty oversights.

    Post # 13
    12248 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’d blame your parents for not saving you a seat!

    Post # 14
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think you sort of answered your own question when you said that the bride’s sister’s husband was told there was no assigned seating. It wasn’t a slight against you personally, because it sounds like no one else had assigned seating either.

    I agree with MissMay3003, I think if anything, it was a faux pas on the part of the guests who sat in those rows. It’s definitely unfortunate that you didn’t get to sit in the front and maybe an oversight of the bride/groom/wedding party/whoever to have not reserved those spots ahead of time for family, but I really think you’re taking it way more personally than it was intended.

    Post # 15
    3378 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I’ve never been to a wedding with assigned seats, but reserved rows, definitely.  The first two rows should have been reserved for family.  And like others have said, the other guests were rude.  Aside from just not sitting there in the first place, they should have got up and given you their seat when they saw you didn’t have a spot.

    Post # 16
    9199 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    We didn’t bother to reserve any rows at our wedding because in my mind, it’s common knowledge that immediate and extended family get to sit in the first couple rows.  

    I think it’s really rude of the other guests to take up those seats, but not necessarily your brother & SIL’s fault.  Sorry you’re feeling badly – I’m sure they assumed there’d be a place for you in the front!

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