(Closed) Is it weird that me and my SO of 4 years see each other only once a week ?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, I only see my SO on the weekends becasue we live and hour and half away. So we are normal, i guess. But for you, it is normal to spend as much time together at first becasue it is new and exciting. So maybe you need to spice up the relationship, go on a date, do things you did when you first started dating. Most importantly TALK to him about how you feel, most likely he doesnt even know that you have a concern. The key to a great relationship is great communicatons !

Post # 4
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Whether it’s “normal” or not, it doesn’t sound like you are feeling like you get enough time with him, and that’s no good. Have you talked to him about it? What does he say?

Post # 5
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

“normal” is such a relative term.  

It sounds like your SO is ok with that arrangement and doesn’t need anything more.  My advice is to talk to him and tell him you’d like more time with him.  If he’s not willing to do it, then that should tell you something about how important your needs are to him. 

For me, 1x a week would be torture!  But, it’s not unreasonable if he has other commitments and an active lifestyle.  At the same time, it’s not unreasonable for you to want to see your SO more than 1x a week!  IMO there should be a compromise there!!

Post # 6
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Oracle – Right on. 

My boyfriend and I of 3 1/2 years often will see each other 1x a week despite living 15 minutes apart. I work probably close to 55 hours a week, have hobbies and other responsibilites. He’s got a much more laid back schedule. 

He started actually cooking dinner for us to eat together on our busy nights. He’s gotten really cute about me doing work (at home) when I need to. He massages my feet while I’m typing, has brought me snacks/drink when i’ve been at it too long. 

He realized that way when I’m done with my work,we’re together to cuddle. 

Post # 7
Member
1601 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My fiance and I only see each other once a week as well, but that’s because we’re both students and he works as well, so it’s understandable for us.

However, regardless of the circumstances, if you’re unhappy then you really need to discuss it. You can throw it off now saying that it’s just how it is, but it will continue to build until it gets resolved.

 

Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

When you do see him, is it just for a few hours? Before Darling Husband and I got married, we only saw each other on the weekends (does that count as once), but we would spend all weekend together.

Does he spend Fri and Sat night with you? If not, I’d be worried he was seeing someone else.

It sounds like you want to see him more than he wants to see you. If this isn’t enough for you, then you need to decide if it’s worth staying with him. It’s okay if you need more and he can’t give it to you to leave him and find someone that *can* give you what you need.

Post # 9
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

SO and I only see each other once a week, we’ve been together about 2 years now. We live about 45 mins from each other and we have odd work schedules, I don’t think it’s abnormal, it’s just what we can do. If we both had better paying jobs we’d have moved in together and would be planning a wedding, but I’m underemployed and he’s underpaid. 🙁

Post # 10
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

I’ve been with my SO almost 3 years.  We live an hour apart, both have demanding jobs, houses, animals.  We only see each other on weekends.  We take turns going over to each other’s place Friday evening after work and we depart company around 3:00 – 4:00 on Sunday.

I miss him, but honestly this arrangement is good.  I get time to myself this way.  We’re talking about moving in together and although I am considering it……and there are other reasons besides this topic that I am not jumping on it……..there is a part of me that kind of likes my time alone.

Normal is so subjective.  It’s all about what you want vs what he wants. 

Post # 11
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I see my Fiance everyday. He comes by in between school and work and spends the day with me on the weekends. I don’t know what “normal” is but neither of us would be happy if we saw each other less than that….regardless, you don’t seem happy about it

Post # 12
Member
19 posts
Newbee

Well, in my experience, when my ex Boyfriend or Best Friend (of 4yrs) said he only had time to see me once a week, it was just a hop skip and a jump away from him breaking up with me.  I think he was trying to either push me away or make me annoyed so I would break up with him because we grew apart. We lived about 20 minutes away from each other, and had always made the time to see each other at least three nights a week.  i hate to be a downer, but (again my own personal experience talking here) if he wanted to see you, he would make time. If his priority always lies in the gym over his girlfriend of 4 years, well then I would take that as a big sign of how seriously he takes you and the relationship.  I think you need to tell him you need to see  him more, and see how he reacts.  If his behavior doesn’t change, I think you need to reassess the relationship. 

Post # 13
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I only see my Fiance on the weekends… well now he works weekends so we see each other Monday+ Tuesdays and with the amount of errands and things that have to get donw in those 2 days, I think we are lucky to get an HOUR of quality time together. We have been together for 8 years and it has always been like this only our days together have gotten super busy as of lately. We live apart as well until we have $$ to get a place of our own. I know how frustrating it is! I get so depressed sometimes over it but he says he doesn’t understand why I can’t just deal with the fact that we have no control over it.

Post # 14
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with Moose2010.  If he wanted to be with you more he would.  Men who want to be with you are actually with you, not making excuses about why they can’t spend time with you.  This will sound harsh, but to me it sounds like you consider him your SO but he considers merely considers you a woman he is dating, not necessarily “significant”. Unless you are long distance, something is amiss.  

Post # 15
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think it’s a bit odd since it sounds like you guys live pretty close. Priorities.

Post # 16
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Me and my SO only see eachother once a month Septemeber-May because i go to school 4 hours away. Believe me just cherish the time that you DO spend with him. 

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