(Closed) Is it weird that…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Dresses the bridesmaids pay for, and that is pretty much across the board.  She needs to ask you individually about budgets, but that’s it.

Shoes are up in the air for some.  I’d prefer to just be asked to purchase a shoe of my choice in a color, since different people have different shoe requirements (arch issues, flat feet, inability to wear heels, etc.)  Some people don’t have a problem buying a specific shoe, others do.

Pro hair and makeup, if it is required, should be covered by the bride.  I’m sure you have your own hair and makeup routine that you have done most of your adult life and look perfectly lovely.  If you want to do something more special, you’re within your rights to do so, but if you would prefer to do your own then she should either respect that or foot the bill.

Post # 4
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think this differs in different social circles and regions. I think generally the bridesmaids usually pay for the dresses, sometimes pay for their own shoes, and if the bride requires professional hair/makeup then she should pay for it.

With my own bridesmaids I am paying for shoes and jewelry. They are paying for their dresses. I am paying for my MOH’s hair and makeup. I am also paying for breakfast and lunch the day of the wedding while we are hanging out and getting ready.

Post # 5
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I gave my girls options of 3 different dresses,, told them whatever silver shoes they wanted.. even gave them silver flip flops… and let them do their jewerlry and hair how they wanted.

Post # 6
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

if you’re British, that is abnormal 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

It depends on the situation.  For example, when my sister got married, I was her MOH– I was also a college student who hadn’t had a job in about a year.  So, for me– paying $165 for a dress, then $150 for hair and makeup wasn’t going to happen.  So, the bride covered the costs.  Now, I’m getting married and my sister is my MOH– she ordered her dress a while back, but now needs some help paying for the alterations, so I’m covering that charge. 

I’ve been in weddings both ways– it just depends on the financial situation of everyone involved. 

Post # 8
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It depends… I know in the uk the bride pays (learned from wb). In the US, bridesmaids pay. Sometimes tho, in the Us, if a bride is financially able to, she chooses to pay for hair/make up and sometimes dress or shoes.

Post # 10
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I living in Ohio and the girls paid for their dresses, I’m letting them wear whatever shoes they want, I’m paying for their hair as part of a “thank you”.  I’m debating whether or not to buy them jewelry.  They all have very different neck lines on their dresses so I’m not sure if buying them necklaces is a good idea.  I think everyone does it differently.

Post # 11
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I asked my bridesmaids to choose their own little black dresses, and stressed that if they already owned one they liked they were welcome to wear it.  Some are wearing ones they own, some are buying new.  I also asked they pair it with a nice black shoe.  I’m getting my hair and makeup done, but told them the prices of the person who will be at my parents’ house the morning of – they can choose whether or not they would like to get theirs done or do their own.

I’m also getting a box of coffee and bagels/pastries and some OJ and fruit for when we get ready, so everyone is properly fed and caffeinated.

I figure, these are my friends who I am honored to have as bridesmaids, why would I want them to put themselves out?  I think they’re beautiful just as they are, why should I ask them to spend more money on themselves than they normally would?

Post # 12
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My bridesmaids paid for their own shoes and dresses (dresses I picked out, but shoes I gave the “requirements” and let them pick their own).  I think paying to get hair/make-up done is ridiculous, especially since there will be several of you there to help each other if you dont feel comfortable enough to do your own for such an important event.
What I’m doing to help their costs is buying jewelery as part of their bridesmaids gifts.  I have earrings for them all to wear that I’ve bought and put in with their gift to give them the night before.

Post # 13
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My BMs are paying for their own dresses and shoes.  I told them the shoe color but they are able to pick whatever shoe they want.  They are also paying for their own hair and makeup.  They can have it done or do it themselves it didn’t matter to me.  

I am giving them jewlery to wear, but they don’t have to wear it at the wedding if they don’t want to.  It is up to them.

This has been the same for the other weddings I have been in as well 🙂

Post # 14
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My bridesmaid paid for their own dresses and shoes, but I made sure the price was reasonable.

I paid for their makeup and hair as part of their gift.

Post # 15
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think it really depends. I’m only having one attendant, my sister, who will be Maid/Matron of Honor. Originally I was just going to tell her ”Find a dress in this colour, show me a photo and I’ll tell you if it’s a go or no go, then find shoes in this colour. Wear your pearl necklace and do your hair/makeup however you want, but tastefully” (My sister has a tendency to wear too much makeup at times, or do crazy things with her hair, like a poof that would make Snooki’s poof look tame). Then my parents offered to pay for all of her hair/shoes/makeup etc, so she’s getting everything done with me.

Post # 16
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Since this already happened… I wouldn’t think of a right or wrong… too stressful! 🙂

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