(Closed) Is it weird to ask your maids together?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
7570 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think you’re over-thinking things. Just ask Susie not to tell Jane because you want Jane to hear it from you, then ask them however you want. quick phone call is fine. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. It’s not a “time to shine” or “freak out” type of occasion. I mean obviously they will be flattered, and they’ll be happy for your engagement, but it’s not a ZOMG AMAZEBALLS type of conversation.

Post # 3
Member
3464 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I agree, ask them separately. Personally if I were the Bridesmaid or Best Man and there are only three of you, I would feel a little bit less special if you ask the Maid/Matron of Honor at the same time as well. Just ask them at different times and ask the first person to keep a secret for one day, I’m sure she will understand. 

Post # 4
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I want to tell mine together… I think it would seem rude like one was an after though if you ask them at different times (I dont mean asking one at 9am on wednesday and the other at 2pm on thursday when you see them in person etc… but if one knows for weeks it seems like you just hadnt made your mind up on the other)

im not sure how to do it as they dont live near each other (I have though about asking them via post) but in the UK bridesmaids dont have ‘budgets’ as the bride pays so thats not an issue here

Post # 5
Member
47431 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
lesbimarried :  It’s not a “time to shine”. It’s an opportunity to give them some privacy and time to ask questions(e.g budget?) and make that decision wihout being pressured by someone other than the bride.

Post # 6
Member
2163 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I asked all of mine together.I guess technically my sister (MOH) already knew but the other girls (4 + flower girl) are all family and I asked them all at a family event. For me, it was convenience purposes since it was the first time I’d seen them all since getting engaged. I think you are overthinking this. Invite them both to lunch and ask, but you don’t have to ‘set a day aside’ for it. My girls were super excited, we took a picture, and then went about our business doing normal family stuff 5 min. later. Its not as big of a deal to them as it is to you. 

Post # 7
Member
3324 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Id ask them separately – not because of what you said, which I think is a bit silly lol – but because I wouldnt want anyone to feel obligated to say yes if they couldnt afford it/didnt want to/were planning on TTC and didnt want to say anything. If everyone else is saying yes and jumping up and down, no one wants to be the debbie downer haha.

Post # 8
Member
9237 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
lesbimarried :  I asked two of my girls at the same time and it was great. we all got to be silly and excited together. however, the two I asked together are super good friends so that helps. I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor on the train during our commute since she was nagging me about picking a bridal party already – we cried and hugged and were ridiculous and it’s one of my favorite memories even though it wasn’t planned. 

Post # 10
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
lesbimarried :  I asked my party via text because we are not sappy, emotional people.  It is not selfish to do it that way. My friends would wonder what the hell I was doing asking them to lunch to appreciate them through the ups and downs lol.  They know I appreciate them based on the simple fact that we are friends. Just because you and your friends would like a big show of bridal party-askingness doesn’t make it selfish for other people to not want that.

Post # 11
Member
3898 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
lesbimarried :  Ask Maid/Matron of Honor first and tell her you will be asking Bridesmaid or Best Man soon so she keeps quiet about it till you ask Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

Post # 13
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
lesbimarried :  I consider your passive agressiveness to be incredibly mannerless. Judge me all you want, but at least get off your pedestal and own it and cut the “congratulations” crap. 

Post # 14
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

We asked our bridal party together. It happened at our engagement party

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