(Closed) Is it weird to attend the Ceremony of a Wedding you weren't invited to?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I kind of think it’s weird unless you are a member of the church and the wedding was published on the church’s calendar, but to each his or her own. Church ceremonies are usually open tot he public.

Post # 4
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@csteen85:  I don’t think it’s so much weird as rude, possibly. Even though churches are open to the public they still have limits on how many people can be in, and what if the uninvited person takes up the place of someone who was invited? People are usually not invited for a reason, I wouldn’t push it by showing up anyway.

Post # 5
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I find it weird….my mom’s friend (whom I’ve met a few times) told my mom that she wanted to sneak in to watch my ceremony.  I was like “NOOOO”…..I’m sorry it’s weird.

Post # 6
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Eh, it’s a bit unusual but I don’t think it’s a big deal. But I don’t think it’s terribly common (at least not in my circle/area) so I wouldn’t worry about extra programs.

Post # 7
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If I were the bride, I’d be happy! I would feel bad if there were people who wanted to be there and I couldn’t invite them. I think it’s rude to invite people to just the ceremoney and not the reception, so I wouldn’t do that, but if there were people who lived close and wanted to come to the ceremony I would be delighted!

Post # 8
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Its not wierd or rude or strange – its a generational thing. It used to be an expected thing to do – hence why showers used to commonly be thrown by “church ladies”, or Mom’s friends.  Wedding announcements would be posted in the local paper, and who ever wanted to would and could show up for the church ceremony.

This is definetly not as common these days, but its probably just that your mom is from a generation where this was normal, even expected.


Post # 9
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think it’s kind of sweet actually. As a bride, I may feel bad that I couldn’t invite this person who cared enough to show up to my ceremony uninvited. But as an outsider, I think it’s sweet. If she went knowing that the bride didn’t account for her, I’m sure she would know not to take a program or a bag of tossers. 

Post # 10
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think it’s weird at all.  My parents always go to the church if I’m in a wedding because they like seeing everyone all dressed up.  They would never pop into a private non-church ceremony, but what’s the harm in hiding in the back of a church to get a peak at the bride and groom.  My mom doesn’t expect to be invited, but some of my friends she’s known since grade school and if i’m attending the wedding, she usually shows up.  All the brides think it’s sweet.

Post # 11
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think its weird at all. Planning a wedding there are always those people you wish you could invite, but just don’t have room in the budget or reception space to do so. Unfortunately it is extremely rude to invite someone to just the receptions. The ceremony is really the most important aspect of a wedding, and churches are open to the congregation during any and all weddings, so I see nothing wrong with that.

Post # 12
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It is a bit weired, but i have seen people stand at some church windows and watch.

It happens all the time.   

Post # 13
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s weird unless the church was open to the community for the ceremony.  I personally would never show up at a ceremony I wasn’t invited to..

Post # 14
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think this is rude at all if the venue is a public place like a church; it’s not the kind of thing I would personally do, and I find it a bit weird, but it is perfectly socially acceptable. If I were the bride I might actually feel a bit touched as it’s very sweet and loving for someone to take it upon themselves to share my day without an actual invite.

If you find it rude or it would make you uncomfortable then you should have your ceremony in a private venue where you can control admission. Churches, state parks, and places like that are open to all, and you should at least consider that strangers or uninvited distant friends/relatives might wander by.

Post # 15
8389 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I guess I wouldn’t find it super weird in a church, but if someone showed up at my outdoor ceremony at a private location uninvited I’d be a little annoyed.

Post # 16
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it depends on the venue. If it’s a church with plenty of seating then sure, why not? But a venue with a set amount of seats is an absolute NO for me. We were married on a lawn, overlooking a lake. Our venue set up just enough seats to accomidate our guest list. Had we had ceremony crashers, there may not have been enough seats for those who were actually invited and that would have seriously pissed me off. 

My mom attended my friends wedding ceremony that was held in a church. Darling Husband and I were both in the Bridal Party and my mom has known my friend for 15+ years so she really wanted to witness it even though she wasn’t formally invited. We asked my friend if it was okay that my mom sit towards the back of the church and she was totally okay with it. Had my friend thought it was weird or whatever, my mom wouldn’t have gone but my friend was actually touched that my mom cared so much for her that she wanted to see her get married even though she wasn’t on the guest list. 

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