Post # 1
We have distant family friends whose Wedding we weren’t invited to, but our closer family friends were.
None of us cared much, because we understood we probably just didn’t make the cut-off. My mom went to the Church Ceremony, anyway though, because she likes to do that. It was at a church near our house and she got the info from other family who were invited.
She stayed through the full mass and congratulated them until they drove away in their limo and then left to go home when everyone left to go to the Reception.
Is this common? My mom does it out of love and care, I think, but to me it seems weird. I wonder what other bees think of it.
As a future Bride myself, I might not make a lot of extra programs, or have enough tossers or something, but I guess Churches are open to the public anyway. But if I saw someone at my ceremony that I couldn’t invite to the Wedding, I might feel bad.
So, it is weird?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I kind of think it’s weird unless you are a member of the church and the wedding was published on the church’s calendar, but to each his or her own. Church ceremonies are usually open tot he public.
Post # 4
@csteen85: I don’t think it’s so much weird as rude, possibly. Even though churches are open to the public they still have limits on how many people can be in, and what if the uninvited person takes up the place of someone who was invited? People are usually not invited for a reason, I wouldn’t push it by showing up anyway.
Post # 5
I find it weird….my mom’s friend (whom I’ve met a few times) told my mom that she wanted to sneak in to watch my ceremony. I was like “NOOOO”…..I’m sorry it’s weird.
Post # 6
Eh, it’s a bit unusual but I don’t think it’s a big deal. But I don’t think it’s terribly common (at least not in my circle/area) so I wouldn’t worry about extra programs.
Post # 7
If I were the bride, I’d be happy! I would feel bad if there were people who wanted to be there and I couldn’t invite them. I think it’s rude to invite people to just the ceremoney and not the reception, so I wouldn’t do that, but if there were people who lived close and wanted to come to the ceremony I would be delighted!
Post # 8
Its not wierd or rude or strange – its a generational thing. It used to be an expected thing to do – hence why showers used to commonly be thrown by “church ladies”, or Mom’s friends. Wedding announcements would be posted in the local paper, and who ever wanted to would and could show up for the church ceremony.
This is definetly not as common these days, but its probably just that your mom is from a generation where this was normal, even expected.
Post # 9
I think it’s kind of sweet actually. As a bride, I may feel bad that I couldn’t invite this person who cared enough to show up to my ceremony uninvited. But as an outsider, I think it’s sweet. If she went knowing that the bride didn’t account for her, I’m sure she would know not to take a program or a bag of tossers.
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s weird at all. My parents always go to the church if I’m in a wedding because they like seeing everyone all dressed up. They would never pop into a private non-church ceremony, but what’s the harm in hiding in the back of a church to get a peak at the bride and groom. My mom doesn’t expect to be invited, but some of my friends she’s known since grade school and if i’m attending the wedding, she usually shows up. All the brides think it’s sweet.
Post # 11
I don’t think its weird at all. Planning a wedding there are always those people you wish you could invite, but just don’t have room in the budget or reception space to do so. Unfortunately it is extremely rude to invite someone to just the receptions. The ceremony is really the most important aspect of a wedding, and churches are open to the congregation during any and all weddings, so I see nothing wrong with that.
Post # 12
It is a bit weired, but i have seen people stand at some church windows and watch.
It happens all the time.
Post # 13
I think it’s weird unless the church was open to the community for the ceremony. I personally would never show up at a ceremony I wasn’t invited to..
Post # 14
I don’t think this is rude at all if the venue is a public place like a church; it’s not the kind of thing I would personally do, and I find it a bit weird, but it is perfectly socially acceptable. If I were the bride I might actually feel a bit touched as it’s very sweet and loving for someone to take it upon themselves to share my day without an actual invite.
If you find it rude or it would make you uncomfortable then you should have your ceremony in a private venue where you can control admission. Churches, state parks, and places like that are open to all, and you should at least consider that strangers or uninvited distant friends/relatives might wander by.
Post # 15
I guess I wouldn’t find it super weird in a church, but if someone showed up at my outdoor ceremony at a private location uninvited I’d be a little annoyed.
Post # 16
I think it depends on the venue. If it’s a church with plenty of seating then sure, why not? But a venue with a set amount of seats is an absolute NO for me. We were married on a lawn, overlooking a lake. Our venue set up just enough seats to accomidate our guest list. Had we had ceremony crashers, there may not have been enough seats for those who were actually invited and that would have seriously pissed me off.
My mom attended my friends wedding ceremony that was held in a church. Darling Husband and I were both in the Bridal Party and my mom has known my friend for 15+ years so she really wanted to witness it even though she wasn’t formally invited. We asked my friend if it was okay that my mom sit towards the back of the church and she was totally okay with it. Had my friend thought it was weird or whatever, my mom wouldn’t have gone but my friend was actually touched that my mom cared so much for her that she wanted to see her get married even though she wasn’t on the guest list.