Is It Weird To Buy My Own E-ring Stone & BF Picks the Setting?!

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
603 posts
Busy bee

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lovelylovelylife :  Well, I might not be the best person to really ask about whether or not it is weird, since I dfid in fact do that! I knew I wanted an OEC moissanite and they were getting to be fewer and farther between, since C&C stopped making them.

I bought it in February, gave it to Fiance in June, we picked out my setting together in August and he proposed the beginning of September.

Post # 17
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

Not weird, but it isn’t what’s traditionally done. He really didn’t care at all about rings, so to get the process going I picked my ring and picked some mens rings and asked him if he liked any of them. Well, he’s buying my ring and chose the ring he wants, so I’m buying his ring. Lol

He would still like for there to be a proposal with the question on one knee, but honestly I don’t even really care about all that. We’ve been together for 9 years, I’ve felt engaged to him for years already. But I completely respect that it’s what he wants, he wants for it to feel markedly special and “real.”

TLDR: do whatever makes you both happy. ^_^

Post # 18
2557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I see no issue with it. Some women have inherited diamonds that they have reset. 

Post # 19
3832 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If you’re both happy with that, it literally doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks 🙂

Post # 20
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I see no issue with it, especially if you have already discussed it and he seemed on board. 

Post # 21
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York

Is this the harro gem? The ovals are stunning!

I think it’s okay to purchase the moissanite, as long as you have your partner’s approval. I picked out the stone and setting on my engagement ring, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being involved in the process. However, don’t let the fact that it’s on sale influence your decision, you don’t want to have buyer’s remorse! And if the proposal isn’t imminent, you might be better off waiting. I would drive myself crazy knowing that I have a beautiful gem in my possession but I won’t be able to wear it for a while. Even if you don’t mean to, you could end up pressuring your SO.

Post # 22
13 posts

I definitely don’t think it’s weird! I wanted a yellow sapphire and SO said, you choose it so you will get exactly what you want! So I did, then we picked out the setting together. So if your Boyfriend or Best Friend wants to surprise you, he can do that with the setting he chooses.

ETA: We got the stone over a year ago, and I have always been happy we did. It’s one of a kind and we insured it and put it away for safekeeping. When we seriously started talking about getting engaged, it actually took some of the pressure off, because we’d already bought the stone and only needed the setting! So I’m getting my Tacori dream ring kiss I say if you are ok with him holding onto it for a while, go for it as long as he’s ok with it.

Post # 23
542 posts
Busy bee

why do you need to buy it yourself? could you just tell him which center you want and where its available?

i could see this happening with an earth mined gem, where say there was only one available and you just had to snap it up asap or else it would be gone forever. or even an amora, since the stock is so low.

the great thing about harro is there’s no shortage, so there’s no rush where you must be the one to buy it asap so it doesn’t get away.

Post # 24
407 posts
Helper bee

Go for it. I am same as sweatergal007. I picked several erings that I loved and let him have the final say. He picked the one that he knew probably topped my list. Whatever works for you!!!! There is not right answer really….

Post # 26
1048 posts
Bumble bee

Nothing wrong with it, OK to proceed. 🙂 

Post # 27
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

While my fiancé and I were talking about getting engaged and picking out a ring, I was searching for secondhand diamonds. One day, I just stumbled upon “the one” on eBay of all places! We talked it over, and he was actually really cool about it.

Even though he believes that the man should pick the ring, it should be a surprise, he mentioned that it was MUCH less stressful than having to choose everything by himself. He loves the diamond, and the final ring, and we are fine with the fact that it wasn’t the “traditional” way of picking out a ring. We got the ring we love at a very reasonable price that we could afford.

Post # 28
25 posts
  • Wedding: September 2019

Just buy it! You love it, who cares what anyone else thinks. It sounds like you’re Fiance is on board and that’s the only thing that matters. 

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