Post # 1
We are trying to decide between two venues. They are totally different, with different styles, and we love both. One is a hotel with a penthouse ballroom and outdoor terrace with dramatic, breathtaking city views and floor to ceiling windows. The other is a small, intimate, urban art gallery with loft-style ceilings and brick walls.
Since we are having trouble deciding between the two, I had the idea of holding a dramatic ceremony with great views at the hotel, then moving over to the art gallery for a intimate party where we can really add our personal style. The problem is, the hotel refuses to allow only the ceremony. The space is too popular. They say the only way we could do it is if we have it at 10 or 11 am in the morning and clear out early, to allow other people to use the space the rest of the day.
My question is, is this too weird for the guests? Many of our guests will be out-of-town family. I assume they want to sightsee and explore the city, but I’m not sure I like the idea of having the ceremony and reception 8 hours apart. Perhaps that would leave them hanging and not sure what to do, and possibly not give them enough time to do anything except hang around.
Ultimately I’m wondering if we just really need to get decisive and pick one or the other… It’s so difficult to decide though!
Post # 2
That’s called an unhosted gap and it’s very inconsiderate to your guests. You do not sound inconsiderate at all, so I would recommend against doing this inconsiderate thing. Your wedding will be very special at whichever venue you pick. Nobody will leave thinking “I wish they’d had the reception at a second place” whereas they will most definitely leaving thinking “I wish they hadn’t had that long-ass stupid inconvenient gap between ceremony and reception” if you do it that way. Good luck and congratulations!
Post # 3
You need to pick one or the other. With an 8 hour gap, many guests will likely attend either the ceremony or the reception. What are guests supposed to do in those 8 hours? Dress up, undress and find something to do and then dress up all over again? It’s especially uncomfortable because as you mentioned, you have out of town guests. Many probably won’t be up for sight seeing in between your wedding activities.
I wouldn’t sacrifice your guests’ comfort just to fit your vision.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
An 8 hour gap? No!!!! Don’t do it!
Post # 5
+1 on all of the above. Don’t do it.
Post # 6
I found that some of our guests didn’t even wait the 45mins before we arrived at the reception, having taken some pictures and (obviously) traveled separately, and the venues were pretty conveniently located.
Avoid long breaks. Just my $0.02. Happy nuptials.
Post # 7
8 hrs apart!!? Don’t do it. It’s a very bad idea. Even a gap of 2 hrs isn’t ideal but 8 hrs is ridiculous. If you decide to go with the gap you can expect 50% of the guests to only
show up at the ceremony, and 50% to only
show up at the reception. One thing that wedding guests hate the most is weddings with a long gap. People are dressed up without anything to do. I think it’s also rude to inconvience your guests with an 8 hrs gap. They are already coming from out of town and have already given you their time and $$ to celebrate with you.
I know you like the art gallery. But if you want your wedding to run smoothly, guests to attend and be happy, have both at the hotel or find another spot to have the ceremony. If you decide to find another spot for the ceremony it should be close to the art gallery. No more than a 1 hr gap. We picked our venue because we could have both the ceremony and reception there. It worked out great and ideally having one venue is the most practical for everybody. With so many details in planning the wedding sometimes being practical has to be more of a priority than your preferences.
Post # 8
Yes, that’s weird and inconvenient for your guests. Don’t do that.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview
Honestly, if your family is behind you and support you, they shouldn’t have a problem. They can find things to do if you truly want a wedding like that. I went to a wedding like this and we went back to the hotel and went swimming 🙂
BUT, it’s easier for everyone (yourself included) if you minimize the gap to 4 hours or less. Traditionalists don’t like waiting around//straying from original wedding traditions.
Post # 10
An 8 hour gap in the city wearing very nice wedding clothes might be a bit of a challenge. Although I’d love the idea to have time to myself in between the wedding and reception to check out a city, I know I’d be torn between getting undressed and comfortable and how much should I eat before I go to the dinner, etc. I might be going against the majority here, but if that’s what makes you happy, go for it. Just try and provide options for your guests to do things and keep them busy.
We have a 1.5 hour gap from after the mass to the reception (for pictures) and I’m actually sweating about that! haha
Post # 11
As a friend, I’d probably skip the ceremony and only go to the reception, knowing I’d have all day. Most Catholic weddings I’ve been to have been early afternoon, like a friends a few weeks ago. It last an hour, and then their social hour didn’t start for 2 hours after that. DH and I just went back to the hotel (where the reception was taking place and where we were staying), and had a few drinks before making our way up to the reception.
I wouldn’t do it.
Post # 12
Asian weddings actually do that. We do a tea cermony in the morning, be done by around 12 and banquet starts around 6 or 7. In between, bride and groom go take photos. When we had out of town guests, we would take these few hours to show them the city and just hang out in general. The adults would just hang out. However, we usually do a change of clothes between morning and night time reception.
Post # 13
I’m used to Catholic weddings and have been very outspoken on gaps being ok in certain circumstances. (Summary viewpoint: telling Catholics to not have a gap is telling them to drop their religious ceremony or drop a traditional reception with dinner and dancing for their guests.) I also think that if people can only be bothered to attend one thing, it should be the ceremony, not the reception. In general, attending the ceremony is supporting the marriage. Attending only the reception is a grab for free food.
This is not that case, and I recommend against the 8 hour gap.
Post # 14
I agree with most of the posters here. Honestly, if I get dressed up for your ceremony and then go home, get comfy, and start doing something I like, I will probably talk myself out of going to the reception. The enthusiasm of the wedding starts fading after eight hours. DANGER WILL ROBINSON.
Post # 15
You and your bridal party will be getting ready very early as will some of your guests so you will be tired later.
Also, this will mean an added hotel night for some out of town guests. They might need to stay the night before the wedding at a hotel to be at the wedding so early. Or if they aren’t checking in until after the wedding they might not have anywhere to go or change for a bit if they can’t check in until 3 pm.