(Closed) Is it weird to not invite the FMIL to the bridal shower?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think you should invite them.  Although you think they might not be comfortable with attending, it would probably make them feel really sad and left out if you don’t invite them at all.  And you don’t want to start out the wedding on a wrong foot, right?  I think in cases like this it is probably better to extend the invitation and let THEM decide if they want to attend. 

Post # 4
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you should invite FI’s family members, especially your Future Mother-In-Law.  She may be hurt if she finds out later that she was not invited.  Also, if you are not that close with her, it might be a good opportunity for you to bond.

Post # 5
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would invite them, especially your Future Mother-In-Law, like Erindesmar said, her feelings might be hurt and you don’t want to start the relationship with her off on a bad foot.

Post # 6
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would.  You might distance yourself even more from them if you don’t.  If they don’t want to come, they’ll RSVP no.  Just this past weekend, FI’s cousin had a shower, which she didn’t invite me to.  I’m not sure if I was supposed to be or not, but it doesn’t really make me feel included on that side of the family.

Post # 7
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

If it is nearby I think you should invite them.  My aunts are having a shower for me in STL and my Future Mother-In-Law lives in Maine.  Actually half of our guest lis lives on the east coast.  They only invited people who are in St. Louis and Missouri.  I know that my Future Mother-In-Law is NOT the type that would fly out for my shower.  If I were having an east coast shower I would invite her though. 

Post # 8
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would say invite them, this is your chance to reach out to them. 

Post # 9
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Definitely invite them.  If they don’t want to come, they can decline the invitation.  But if you just assume they don’t want to come, you may hurt their feelings.

Post # 10
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I would invite Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law.  Is she Out of Town from where the shower will be?  I would think it would be one thing if she was throwing you her own shower, local to her.  But since she is not, I think you should invite her to the one you are getting.  (You don’t want to risk straining your "not so solid" relationship.)  And you can always mention to her that you certainly don’t want her to feel obligated to go, if it’s inconvenient.

Post # 11
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I would definitely invite them! Better safe than sorry… a non invite to your son’s future wife’s bridal shower could definitely hurt feelings.

Post # 12
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

penguin pulled the thought right out of my head.  it’s definitely better to be safe than sorry plus it could help bring you closer together.

Post # 13
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would agree with pp. Invite her. 

I was pondering whether or not to invite my Future Mother-In-Law because she lives in Alabama while the we’re out here in California. I just didn’t want her to feel obligated to get me a gift. But then I thought, maybe she would want to come, and it might be a good opp to get to know her better.

It can’t hurt, right? 

Post # 14
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would invite your Future Mother-In-Law and any of your FI’s close female relatives – i.e. sister, grandmother, etc. If they aren’t throwing a shower for the groom’s side, they should be invited to the big shower. Even if they can’t make it, it’s a nice gesture. And, if they can, it gives the other women in your family and his a chance to meet and mingle before the wedding!

Post # 15
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

I think you should invite them. It might come across as rude if you don’t. :-/

Post # 16
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You really should invite them. It will be really nice on your wedding day if his family has already met your friends and family!

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