Post # 1
i can’t go to a party being thrown in honor of a friend who’s having a baby. I want to send a present for her (in addition to the baby present for the shower.) Something like a pedicure/spa day or a bottle of wine. The problem is, my friend doesn’t like spa-type stuff and she doesn’t drink. Would it be weird to give a movie gift card and an offer to babysit so she and her husband can go out?
I worry it would be weird because I don’t have kids and I’m not super close to her, like we’ve never hung out one on one, it’s always in a larger group.
Is this something you would have welcomed? Any suggestions for something better?
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
She may not be comfortable with leaving the baby . I think it would be a better offer to help her clean or give a gift card to a restaurant that does delivery
Post # 3
A new mom is unlikely to want someone she isn’t close with to babysit, so I suggest you find another gift. While your gifts are well intentioned I would suggest refraining from gifting wine to a pregnant woman as well. A spa gift card might not be a bad idea as she can use it now if she is comfortable. Or save it for later.
Does she have a gift registry? Can you go in on a gift with others? Is a gift card to a local baby shop an option? Amazon delivers everything, local grocery services or food delivery is also a good option.
Some other inexpensive ideas are baby washcloths (you can never have too many), soft cloth baby books, a cute picture frame for future use, sweets, flowers.
Post # 4
Gift card to Seamless or whatever delivery service is popular in your area?
Post # 5
Redbox gift card? Netflix subscription?
I mean it’s nice to offer, but I think it’s kind of an empty gesture because most people aren’t letting an acquaitance watch their infant.
Post # 6
A bouquet of flowers is always lovely.
Post # 7
I say go ahead and make the offer! She can always say no thanks. My mother usually hired local teens to babysit us when we were small (and she had five kids) and we all turned out just fine. Not everyone is a psycho about who they let babysit.
Post # 8
sparkosity : just because a new parent doesn’t want to let someone they don’t know well watch their small infant doesn’t make them a psycho… I didn’t understand how hard it is to let others watch your infant until I actually had a kid of my own so I get that not everyone would think it was a big deal.
OP I think it’s a wonderful gesture and idea but I have to agree with the others that it would be unlikely they would take you up on the offer. I think food-related gifts are the best for new parents! Maybe a gift card to a local place they can go eat or order takeout from?
Post # 9
hollyberry4 : Anyone I know well enough to invite to a shower, I would know well enough to let them babysit. Making the offer won’t hurt anyone, and the new mom can make the decision for herself. The way I hear people on the bee talk about how incredibly selective they are about babysitters is wayyy out of touch with how anyone I know is in real life. So instead of a bunch of people on the internet telling her it’s inappropriate, she can just let her friend decide.
Post # 10
sparkosity : well it is true of my circle of friends anyway. And I’m just saying I think the OP genuinely wants to give a thoughtful gift so it’s probably best to go for one that wouldn’t potentially put the mom in an awkward position.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
I think a spa card and gift card for food delivery are amazing. If you are handy in the kitchen some frozen or heatable meals are awesome too. When we had our baby 9 months ago some of the people from his unit helped us with some meals for a few days. It was so helpful because my husband is not a good cook and I couldn’t stand long enough to cook for us because it was way too painful.
You are so kind to try and think of something thoughtful 🙂
Post # 12
sparkosity : the fact that it is a question in OPs head whether it would be appropriate given their acquaintance to each other should be enough to determine that she likely is not someone in the new moms circle of options for babysitting. Calling anyone a psycho for being selective of who is watching their children is out of line.
Post # 13
As the mom of two kids with a third on the way- I love the idea of an offer to babysit (and the flowers). Babysitters are expensive, and often a challenge to find. That’s a very thoughtful offer- even if they don’t take you up on it!!
Post # 14
chocolateplease : An offer isn’t an obligation, though. The expectant mother is free to say a polite thank you and never take OP up on the offer if she isn’t comfortable with it.
When my sister was pregnant, a lot of people offered to babysit. She was perfectly polite about all the offers, but didn’t take everyone up on it.
No one on here knows the OP’s friend or the OP or their relationship well enough to be able to determine whether the OP’s friend would be comfortable with the OP babysitting. That’s the point that PP was trying to make, and I agree. Some people are more selective, and some people are less selective. As long as the OP isn’t offended the friend never takes her up on the offer to babysit, I don’t see a problem. It’s just an offer.
The way I see it, a gift card to the movies would be the present…not the offer to babysit.
Post # 15
I cannot say I’ve had any experience on the mom side of things, so please take my comment with a grain of salt, but I have babysat a few of small babies (7 months at the youngest, though) for parents to take the night off! Agreed with PP that the gift card would be the main present and the offer to babysit (or maybe to help find a professional online? Idk) would be secondary.