(Closed) Is it what he truly wants? Worry…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

Totally feel you. I alternate between really wanting to push and discuss and really set a timeline, and then worrying that if I say too much, when he proposes it will be because he feels he HAS to, not because he was dreaming of it, and planning it, and excited for it all of his own volition. I don’t know if there’s ever a way to truly know anyways though. For most men, I think it’s a combination of both. There’s the ‘I love this woman and one day I wanna marry her’ thoughts, as well as the ‘oh crap, she wants to get married now so I guess it’s time to jump!’ thoughts.

Post # 4
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@awolfpaw

I dont think he wouldnt do it if he didnt really want to do it on some level.  Its been discussed so I dont think he’s doing it just to please you, even if the timing has been moved up just to please you which is still a good thing because it means that your happiness matters to him and thats a huge plus!

Cheer up, things will work out if they are meant to be.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Babe, If he is commited to you as he says and you guys are as in love as you seem then, YES he wants this. You cracked it out of him. Now you have your timeline so you should relax, lay off him and enjoy this new time. 

I would sudgest try to enjoy the good in your relationship. You are almost engaged! there is a beauty to this time. Take a good look at your man. remind yourself why you want to be married to him. and know it is happening in a few weeks (Nov will be here before you know it)

get into the habbit of getting your nails done.

Post # 6
Member
3831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I asked my FI this before we got engaged.  

His response was “No one can force me to do anything. Ever. If i choose to propose it will be because i have decided the time is right. Not because you have cried to me that i’ve hurt your feelings”

That made me feel better. HAHA especially because i cried alot in the months before our engagement

Post # 7
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@awolfpaw:  You know what’s funny?  (Or really not? haha) I caught the impatient bug THREE days before my FI proposed to me.  I had no idea he had that exact Friday in mind to pop the question!  

I kinda put up a hissy fit about how I don’t want to be living together and be one of those couples who finally gets engaged after 7 years of living together.  He ended up blurting out “Fine.. it’s gonna be in 2013 okay? Now you ruined the surprise..”  I got even more upset because I was hoping he would ask in 2012.  Long story short, by the end of the night, he ended up telling me that he only told me 2013 to throw me off track and that it was gonna happen really soon.

I felt so bad to ruin the “surprise” and throwing a hissy fit, but I just had to know!

I know totally how you feel!  But I will tell you that you shouldn’t feel toooo bad.  A man would probably not even mention a specific month to you to propose, if he really didn’t plan for it.  Marriage is such a serious topic, particularly for men (being that they crave bachelor status).. I really don’t feel like you forced him into it..!

If anything, I would feel a teeny bit bad for ruining a surprise though..!  I know I still do 😛

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