(Closed) Is it worth dumping him over?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well, unfortunately, I don’t think you will be able to keep this from him now that you know. I would come clean, and apologize for snooping. While I would be super pissed, you guys weren’t exclusive. I would ask for an explanation though, and if he ended up sleeping with the girl, think about what you will do next.  The good thing is, it seems that since you guys decided to become exclusive, he’s been faithful. 

Post # 4
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Were any of the chats recently?

Post # 6
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

He hasn’t technically done anything wrong. If, in his mind, you were not exclusive at the time it means that he was well within his rights to talk to this person. 

You need to decide if the hurt you are feeling now will be more or less than the hurt of breaking up with him. You need to talk to him about the fact that you found it and that you feel hurt because you didn’t know about it. That being said, did you ever ask him to tell you about the other women in his life? Why is it that this makes you feel sick to your stomach? He hasn’t lied or cheated, or done anything really wrong. 

Tread carefully because at the moment, only from what you’ve said, it looks like you are the one who has done something wrong (snooping) and he hasn’t done anything wrong because you were not exclusive at the time.

Post # 7
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@claireos: Just talk to him, only you will be able to know if you believe him or not.  Sorry this is happening, but from what you’ve said, I’m hoping that those conversations were the end

Post # 8
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Just saw that he said that he wasn’t seeing anyone. This changes things but only slightly. Many people don’t see chatting on the net, no matter how sexual, to be “seeing” someone. He possibly doesn’t even know this girl and just enjoyed the attention and attraction.

The reason you need to talk to him about it is because you need to make sure that you are on the same page as to what is acceptable and what is not, what needs to be shared and what doesn’t. Make sure you have an honest and open, non-judgmental talk with him. Don’t ambush him as soon as he gets home.

Post # 9
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i don’t think it’s worth dumping him over. he’s stopped and you guys are exclusive now.

Post # 12
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@claireos:Perfect. Thats not something worth ending your relationship.

Post # 13
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@claireos: So glad to hear it! 🙂

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