(Closed) Do you force your Spouse to do things they dislike?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll:
    Yes, I ask my spouse to do things he doesn't like for me : (12 votes)
    11 %
    It depends on what it is : (77 votes)
    68 %
    No I don't ask or force my Spouse to do things they dislike : (24 votes)
    21 %
    Other I will explain below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Unless it is something that really needs the both of us there I don’t force my Fiance to do things he doesn’t want to do. Really to me it’s not worth the arguement and I don’t like to feel rushed if I am out shopping. He’s gone on average 5 days a week and I understand that when he gets home all he really wants to do is spend time with the family and his big screen. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5797 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    No, because then he’s just miserable which makes me miserable. It’s not worth it. Plus, when something is really important to me its easier to get him to go to/do things with me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6512 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted it depends on what it is.  I definitely never force him into doing something he doesn’t want to (with the possible exception of registering for china lol), but sometimes we will do something the other person doesn’t love because we like being together, i.e. I’ll watch some baseball with him, and the poor guy has sat through quite a few episodes of Say Yes to the Dress lol

    Post # 6
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Sometimes I guilt Fiance into running errands with me, like grocery store, but he is pretty willing. I would much rather go shopping with my friends though. I don’t think I would ever Make my Fiance go shopping, but at the same time I don’t think my Fiance would ever skip out on anything that I felt was really important that he tag along for…..

    Post # 7
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Stuff like that? Absolutely not. But I do think there is a certain amount of give and take. For example, I don’t like concerts. At all. But my husband still asks me to go with him because he really enjoys them and he wants someone to go with (and we’re talking once/year– max). Similarly– on occassion I’ll ask him to do something I know he doesn’t want to do. Usually this involves some sort of outting with my family or my college friends I know he doesn’t love. Again, this kind of stuff is rare so when it comes up we both deal and attend as cheerfully as we can fake it 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    5177 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I do not “force” my husband to do anything and vice versa. Even if it something we do like, if we just are not up for it for whatever reason we are freely able to choose not to go! We do not own each other or each other’s time or autonomy.

    There are times we may each willingly choose to participate in something we are less enthusiastic about in general as we want to spend time together and/or support each other, and that takes primacy over the less-desirable activity, though I cannot think of anything either of us dislikes that much that it would be a huge sacrifice to do in order to spend time together either! My husband is pretty up for anything, more so than I at times I admit. I am the one that gets talked into bungee jumping and the like even though I have severe reservations…lol. Okay, now that I think about it I would not do that again, but I would still hang out with him as support when he did it again.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4336 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It sounds like there is sometihng else going on there, like what if her love language is quality time or something, and that’s how she wants it expressed, but she is not able to explain that to him? Or maybe she resents him “forcing” her to watch sports with her (Every night for example,) and feels like she should get to have him go shopping once in awhile with her.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t force Fiance to do anything like that, buuutt….he cooks, cleans, takes the garbage out, goes grocery shopping etc and I’m sure he doesn’t like any of that. In fact, he was so bad at it that I’m in the process of making a chore chart for the both of us that we need to adhere to…

    Post # 12
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I don’t force things I know he hates. I might strongly suggest things I think he might enjoy though. Like last time I took Dirty Delete to the art museum my husband didn’t want to go and I pushed the issue. Afterwards he admitted that he really enjoyed going. So I try to be selective about what I ask him to do, because sometimes he honestly thinks he won’t like something, and then ends up liking it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t force Fiance to do anything he doesn’t like. I was single for a long time before him and very content to do things by myself, so if he doesn’t want to do something I have no qualms about going out and having a good time on my own. He tends to be the opposite, and wants me with him for everything regardless of if I’d rather stick my head in the microwave than watch him play video games or sit through another fight practice.

     

    He does have to do the laundry but other than that he doesn’t even have any chores. He just helps out when he feels like it. I’m starting to think he’s freaking spoiled! lol

    Post # 15
    Member
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Things like dishes and helping with laundry? Yes. But generally no.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Most of the time not.  I’m not married yet but there are times when I insist that my Fiance join me for something or do something.  He insists that I do things sometimes.  However, going shopping does not require both of us unless he’s specifically asking for my input or vice versa.

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