(Closed) Is it Wrong…..?

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: is it wrong to demote a MOH and promote another(please read before voting)

    it needs to be done

    i had to do this (pleas explain how it went =/)

    it is against bride etiquette

    just have a co -MOH

  • Post # 3
    27 posts
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Ok here’s the deal.. I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a friend who picked a Maid/Matron of Honor who didn’t really do anything.  She knew that would happen, but didn’t want to hurt her friend.  So, she just explainend to me that she didn’t want to cause rifts but asked if I would take up Maid/Matron of Honor duties for planning stuff.. and of course I understood and would never want her to have a terrible wedding experience because someone hated her now or because she never had a shower or bach party.  That being said, explain the situation to your closer friend and ask her if she would be wiling to TACTFULLY pick up the slack so that you don’t have to hurt someone’s feelings.  I’m sure she will say of course 🙂

    Post # 4
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    you could ask your Maid/Matron of Honor if she would mind having a co-MOH to help her.  She will probably say yes, then you can have another Maid/Matron of Honor without demoting anyone.

    Post # 7
    6377 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @cllyons: I think that you should fully reconnect with this girl before you offer her any kind of role in your wedding. I have a number of high school “friends” that I lost contact with over the years but who have recently come back into my life. I already have my Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaids (my 3 best friends since 6th grade) but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t offer an old friend a role in my wedding until I once again considered her one of my “besties” (I don’t really use that term but it seems fitting here). I also don’t really think its ever okay to demote someone unless you want your relationship to be seriously impacted.

    Post # 8
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I agree, you shouldnt demote your Maid/Matron of Honor.  She didnt do anything wrong to deserve a demotion.  And it sounds like she is already planning your bachelorette party and bridal shower?  It would be incrediably rude to demote her in this case.  It is nice that your other friends want to help though.

    Post # 9
    631 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I would advise you to do what you feel you need to do. Take it from me, if your Maid/Matron of Honor is not involved now she never will be. My Maid/Matron of Honor is EXACTLY what you described and I still totally resent her for not even bothering to ask me how things were going, much less helping with anything.

    If you feel you need to demote Maid/Matron of Honor to a Bridesmaid or Best Man, then do so. But if you are still not sure who you want as your Maid/Matron of Honor then just hold out a bit. I know you don’t have an insane amount of time, but I really wish I would’ve waited until 4-5 months before the wedding to pick a Maid/Matron of Honor.

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