(Closed) Is it wrong….

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Shayla34:  Hell yes. If they didn’t turn in the certificate to have the marriage finalized then yes she should give money back to her guests that gave her gifts. I would think differently if it was like 6 months to a year and they divorced then no she shouldn’t have to but they didn’t even turn the license in! WTF smh. She just wasted alot of money on a wedding that by law technically didn’t even happen.

Post # 4
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Shayla34:  

Are you asking if she should return gifts or refund you bridesmaid expenses?

Post # 5
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Shayla34:  I think that any wedding gifts should be returned if they haven’t already… but if you want to keep her as a friend, I would just suck it up.

Yeah it’s crappy you invested money for a bridesmaid dress etc. (I assume that’s what you’re talking about), but I wouldn’t expect her to compensate you.

Isn’t it punishment enough that she isn’t married to the guy she thought she would be married to?

If she has another wedding in the future you might want to opt out of bridesmaid duties.

Post # 6
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@canarydiamond:  +1

 

This isn’t about your expenses, regardless of what you spent. Her feelings (and his) are more hurt than anyone’s. 

Post # 7
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry but the last thing I’d be thinking of if my friend went through something like this would be myself and getting money back for my gift or bridesmaids expenses. 

Post # 8
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Shayla34:  yeah that’s why some people think you have a year to get thank you notes.  If they seperate before the year, they are supposed to send back gifts/money. 

HOWEVER … my brother’s ex g/f went thru this (we are still friendly) she called the wedding off the day before.  A few of her  bridesmaids gave her the bills for their dresses/shoes, etc…… really how crappy can you get…. she’s supposed to be one of your friends and your supposed to support her thru bad/good.

Post # 9
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wait wait wait….are you talking about bridesmaid expenses or about gifts from her guests?

If your talking about bridesmaid expenses then no she should not be obligated to return that money. You chose to be a bridesmaid those expenses came with that duty. She would probably be in debt the next 10 years if she had to pay her bridesmaids back.

BUT if you are talking about the guests gifts to her then yes she should absolutley return them no questions asked.

Post # 10
Member
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@canarydiamond:  <– Agreed

However, I will say the whole situation sounds a bit off.  I mean, you get married, don’t actually file the marriage certificate, then decide to break-up over the honeymoon?  It all just sounds a little too convenient to me…

Post # 12
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Okay, here’s the deal, because i actually looked into this… if the wedding was legally performed, they are married whether they filed the paperwork or not. You might want to tell your friend that because she could end up in a heap of legal trouble if she decided to get married in the future or if she starts making a ton of money and her husband asks for alimony.

When I got married the first time, the county lost our completed marriage license and never issued our certificate. We still don’t know what happened, but in the end, to get divorced, my ex and I had to go in person and reapply for a license (and pay again), send it to the minister who married us, have him fill it out ex post facto, mail it in, and wait for the certificate. We asked since there was no record of the marriage if we had to go through all this or could just pretend it never happened, and they said we were still legally married even without the paper trail.

Post # 14
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@Shayla34:  And to be fair, marriage is handled by the state, so what is true in Florida may not be true in another state, but it’s really important that your friend makes sure she is or is not married.

(PS, she should return all wedding and shower gifts, but she does not owe anything back to people who laid out money to make the wedding happen)

Post # 16
Member
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@mrsSonthebeach:  No matter the topic, you always have the most informative posts! (That’s why I nominated you and Aspasia475 as the most knowledgeable and informative bees on the end-of-year “superlatives” nomination thread someone started on New Year’s Eve! Not sure if you happened to see that, but I wanted to mention it! 🙂

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