Post # 1
My Dad sexually abused me when i was younger.Nothing too serious like rape but it was more than covert incest.It happened when i was 13 and i blocked it out of my mind untill the memories rushed back to me years later.I started feeling resentful towards him and haunted about what he did.I decided to cut him out of my life and i wrote him letter telling him how the abuse effected me and how i do not wish to have him in my life.He didnt respond to this letter nor did he brought it up when he spoke to my sister.
He also sexually abused my sister when she was alone in the house and she had to move out after she called the cops on him.He denied it ofcourse and nothing was done.My sister also confronted him about the abuse but he pretty much avoided talking about it and turned it around making it seem like it was our fault.Both my sister and i cut him out of our life.My sister also denied him to see her new born son.He was even asking my sister about me and saying how much he misses me how i am doing etc since i havent spoke to him in 5 years.Even when i was older i could tell that he is attracted to me and i hate the fact that my own father see me in that way
Anyways,i sometimes feel guilty for cutting him out off my life and wonder if its wrong to cut your own father out of your life? On the other hand,i have no intrest in reconnecting with him.I cant help to feel bad
Post # 2
This is pretty much the most valid reason ever for cutting someone out of your life. He is a bad person and you should not feel bad. Burn your bridges and run.
Post # 3
He is not your father, he is a monster. Fathers aren’t supposed to abuse their children. I’m so sorry you experienced such horrific trauma. Do not feel guilty. Perhaps you can talk to a therapist to help you heal. Hugs!
Post # 4
You did the right thing, bee. Never doubt that. Your father is sick and if you allow him into your life, he will make you sick. You deserve protection from him.
Post # 5
Don’t feel badly at all. He betrayed your trust on the deepest level and he doesn’t deserve any part in your life after that. If you are in a position to, think about using this as a time to get closer to your sister, because if anyone will know what you’re going through, it’ll be her.
Post # 6
barnes66: How could you possibly feel bad for distancing yourself from an abuser? It sounds like he is a perfect example of why not everyone should procreate. For him, it just meant that he had convenient victims. If he can’t be prosecuted, at least you should protect yourself…and don’t feel guilty for that!
Post # 7
- Wedding: December 2014 - Loft
I am so sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine the graciousness it has takeN you to not cut him out by now. I feel sad that you have to question whether or not you should cut him out. I don’t speak to my father and the reasons are far less warnented than this. are you looking for someone to tell you it’s ok? Because honestly it is. There is no better reason. let youself heal.
Post # 8
Yes i am seeing a counsellor
Post # 9
You did the right thing, he’s mentally ill or a sociopath.
Post # 10
He may biologically be blood, but you did not have a father. This man is a criminal who should not be living freely. You are absolutely right to eliminate him from your life, and I am glad you are getting counseling. Never, ever doubt that cutting him out of your life was and will continue to be the best decision. There is nothing healthy that can come out of any sort of relationship with him. The mind plays tricks on a person, but always remember that YOU have nothing to feel bad about.
Post # 11
i only needed to read the first five words. cut him OUT.
Post # 12
barnes66: Your first and utmost responsibility is to yourself. You need to do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe. In your situation, as in far too many families, that means cutting someone out of your life. You cannot take the chance that you will have to deal with this again, Bad enough that you have to process what happened before, you do not want a repeat situation.
Be strong and know that whatever happens to your Dad is because of choices he made, not you.
Post # 13
uhm.. Im pretty sure you know the answer to this. You need to steer clear of him and never look back. you must harbor a lot of hurt, resentment, and regret, but DO NOT ever forgive him. You feel like his is attracted to you? I mean what? No! I am glad to hear you are seeking counseling and I pray that you do for a long time coming. Never talk to this man or associate with him in any way. He’s sick and clearly done this to multiple people.. god knows who else. Im so sorry you went through this! Please keep up with talking about your hurt and working through all that youve been through.
Post # 14
Thank you everyone for your support.I just wanted a ressurance that i was doing the right thing by cutting him out of my life.I have zero interest in relationship with him.My father died that day when he decided to abuse me
Also i was concerned about my step sister who is now 15.she lives with him and my step mom.My counsellor called CAS on him and they went to question just to make sure she is safe.He was upset by this and he had the nerve to tell my sister that she should pray for me and made it seem like i am the problem