Thank you everyone for your help! it really means a lot.
What really is bothering me is the fact that he is staying in the city alone when I go to visit my family for christmas. like I said earlier I understand that he has been stressed out with his job and trying to find something else or possibly go back to school so I when I did ask him about 2 months ago if he wanted to go he was in the peak of stress. I wouldnt want to make plans to go away for a few days either if I wasnt sure what my finances/job/schedule was going to be.
However, things have been better for him and when I bought my ticket home 3 weeks ago he made it clear that he was not planning on going. That is fine. but he didn’t even say “wish he could make it” and to top it off he is planning on going for a weekend trip with his brother for birthday early next year!
His priorities are of course his family, but it saddens me that he doesn’t put effort into spending time with my family as well. He even asks me from time to time if my family like him, etc. They do like him, but they would like him even more if they saw him more! haha
I know I will have fun if I go on the vacation. His family is very nice and welcoming, I just feel like I might be giving myself to him too easily. The fact that he got so uneasy when we had the timeline talk just makes me wonder if I am waiting for nothing and he is never going to feel that all of his ducks are in a row. Those darn ducks!
He said he feels pressure because I told him what I was thinking for a timeline.(married in about 2-3 years) If he is feeling too much pressure then why is he inviting me on a family vacation.That just turns up the pressure more doesn’t it? He says that he wouldn’t be bringing me on vacation if he wasn’t serious about us. hahaha I am so confused now, males say they are simple, but i beg to differ!
wow this got long. sorry.
In conclusion, I love him, I know he is worth the wait, and we have a great life together. That should be enough for me, but I know it isn’t. I am going to go on the vacation, enjoy myself, be happy for the newlyweds and try and let the waiting agnst fall away. (if only for a week!) If after the vacation we talk and he can’t commit to a rough timeline then I think it will be time to re-evaluate. Like some PPs said, he is too old to be so afraid of a freaking timeline if we knows I am the one he wants to be with.
Thanks for listening!
@MsNarwhal: I completely agree, you support your partner and it should be both ways even if you know you arent going to have the best time.
@Danawatson210: that is just how I feel. If I don’t go I really do think it might be the kick he needs. Because when he brought it up I was like “oh well i’ll see if I can make it, I could have some work obligations. and he seemed kind of surprised that I wasn’t as gung ho as he was.
@Au Jardin: I am trying to enjoy the moment. our relationship has been getting better and better and it makes me happy but then it also makes me want more. ie. engagement. an endless cycle haha!
@harleyq: yep very tired! If i had a timeline I would be a lot more at ease because atleast I would know FOR SURE where we were heading.