(Closed) Is it wrong I dont want to go on his family vacation?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should I just suck it up and go?
    yes : (57 votes)
    77 %
    no : (7 votes)
    9 %
    think about it : (10 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    704 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    To me it sounds like you are just tired. Tired of waiting, tired of having another wedding thrown in your face, tired of going on vacations with people who aren’t your family.

    It’s understandable, although if you explain it to your SO, I think maybe you should try to leave it at just being emotionally overwhelmed with life right now. Say you’d love to go but you need a break and just need some time by yourself or with your own family to recollect your thoughts and feelings. Or just say you need to catch up on work.

    That’s if you decide not to go. Like other bees have said, the best way to bcome part of the family is to do family activities together.

    I think either decision is fine, depending on how the relationship is going with SO and his family. I don’t believe a couple has to vacation together every time or do every family vacation together. You have to decide which option is going to strengthen your bond with these people and which one is just going to alienate or stress you out more

    Post # 33
    Member
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It sounds like you and your SO have some talking to do. I think you need to discuss marriage and where the relationship is headed. He is certainly old enough to know what he wants at this point and there is no point in waiting around any longer if he is not willing to commit to you. Being wishy-washy about what his plans are for Xmas shows that he isnt that commited to you. For example, I cant stand my FIL’s but for holidays we split our time between the two families. Do I want to go over to their house for Xmas? No, because they annoy the crap out of me..but I do it anyway to make my Fiance happy. He should be there with you over the holidays. If he wants you to commit to a trip then he should as well. But I definately think a relationship re-evaluation is in order.

    Post # 34
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    “you are not his wife and therefore are not a part of his family”

    I am not technically a part of my SO’s family yet but they always say I am part of the family as does my family to him. Just because she isn’t his wife doesn’t mean others such as his family won’t treat her like family as well. Just sayin’.

    Post # 35
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @MissTiger: In your situation the fact that you weren’t technically family was ok with you. However, Ms. Pancakemix is feeling resentful because she is not technically family. If she was ok with this situation she would not be considering not going on the vacation. I’m just trying to help her out and I understand how being the only one on the family vacation that is not family could hurt her feelings/cause her feelings of resentment. Most people on here are telling her to go, but I don’t think that just going and pretending like it doesn’t bother her when it clearly does is a wise decision.

     

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