(Closed) Is it wrong?-I’ve already bought my BM dresses and i’m not even engaged yet!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

tough and tricky decision, my fh bought my ring right after we picked it our, however didn’t propose for 11 months! and i’ve changed my mind so much, and my bm’s have changed shapes

Post # 4
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Wait, were these sale dresses?  Do you plan to keep these dresses you ordered and have some of your BM’s wear them?  Will they still have the styles in stock when you go to order the dresses for all your BM’s, and do you know your girls will like them?

Post # 6
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

its not wrong…but a little risky…but hey if you really liked the dresses…I just hope your bridesmaids like them too since they didnt have any input…

Post # 7
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you are putting the cart before the horse, or counting your chickens before they hatch, whichever analolgy you prefer. I have learned to never count anything as yours until it really is. Counting on a wedding before you are engaged (even if you went ring shopping and he bought the ring) to me, is a bit like tempting fate. I totally understand the desire to get the dresses youve always imagine. However, wedding styles tend to repeat over and over, and if for some reason you couldnt find the right dress once you were engaged, you could always have it made. I also think its a lot of pressure to put on your friend who is trying to lose weight. Granted, she is doing it for her own reasons, but trust me as a girl who is trying to lose weight, if she ever struggles, your wedding and this dress you bought for her at a size smaller than she is will totally weight on her and make it harder for her. I know if someone did that for me, I would be pissed. She puts enough pressure on herself so she can have a baby, she doesnt need this “perfect” dress you just HAD to have as additional pressure.

Just my two cents.

Post # 9
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

DITTO what soontobekatie said.

DITTO LIKE TIMES A THOUSAND.

Post # 11
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Sorry, pooks75! I just think this is too risky and I think you are making the right decision by returning them.  I know it is really, really easy to get excited about wedding stuff and want to just jump at all the pretty things you see even though your wedding’s not for a while.  But you have at least a year to find more dresses.  There are sooooo many out there that you WILL find dresses that both you and your BM’s love for a good price (I mean 20% off isn’t THAT cheap, they regularly offer coupons), and you will be certain to have them in all the right sizes.  

Good luck and congrats on the upcoming engagement!

Post # 12
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m sad to say…I agree with the other posters.  I think it’s a tiny bit pre-mature to order Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses before you get engaged (not unless you’ve discussed other wedding plans, such as date, venue, etc. and basically, you are waiting while planning your future wedding.)

BUT, I also do feel your excitement about the dresses.  I ordered the Juliet in lightberry for my girls too and I just got the sample swatch today!  I’m very excited.  I haven’t seen the dresses yet, but I imagine they will be pretty!  But no worries, you can also re-order on JCrew.  And who knows, by the time you do need them, they might be on sale? πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

That’s great! πŸ™‚  I think the dresses would look pretty in that setting.  Good luck with your upcoming engagement and wedding planning!

In the future if you are interested in the dresses and cant locate them, and if its after March 2011, PM me!  We can talk!

Post # 16
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s “wrong”, lots of people do it, it’s whatever is right for you. I will say this though. I waited over 12 months for a proposal from the time I told my now Darling Husband I was ready for marriage (which I told him after 5 years together). In that time I looked at lots of wedding sites and collected photos and all that, but I never bought anything or went to see any actual vendors. Once we got engaged, I had the ring on my finger and we had a venue and a date, I started doing those things. AND IT FELT SO GOOD. I remember being so happy that I’d waited until it was “official”, I didn’t have to feel weird or guilty about jumping ahead of the game. I really WAS getting married! It’s hard to explain how that felt and how glad I was I’d done things in the “right” order, so I just wanted you to know that πŸ™‚

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