(Closed) Is it wrong to ask the bride to pay for part of the bachelorette party?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

In my opinion, a bachelorette party is not a requirement and the bride shouldn’t demand when it is or the activities.  I think it’s up to the BMs to decide what a fun evening would look like (incorporating the fact that not everyone may be old enough to drink) and plan according to their budget.  I personally would get all the BMs together, pick a date and then tell the bride to “keep the evening free” but not tell her every little detail.

Post # 4
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

hmm..here’s what we are doing (though i dont know who is paying for what..doesn’t matter to me). my Maid/Matron of Honor is 19, and i have an 11 year old junior bridesmaid. we are going to go out for dinner somewhere that they can attend, and then go out after that and drink (though it’s a surprise WHERE we are going). could you do something like that? it wouldnt be as expensive.

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well, I understand her thinking that she wants to have 2 nights out so she can have the ‘real’ bachelorette experience at bars, but also include the underage Bridesmaid or Best Man as well. But if she’s asking you to do something you all can’t afford right now, there’s a problem with that. You should plan on going to an inexpensive restaurant and cheap bar with some kind of drink special so you can all still treat her but it isn’t draining your wallett completely. And for the bowling night, bowling is really expensive so I would probably ask her if she could contribute. At that point it’s the 2nd bachelorette party adn she’s calling the shots with the planning so it’s appropriate for her to pitch in. But try as best you can to make the first one affordable to treat her. I think that’s a good compromise.

Post # 5
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Could you combine the two nights into one? Have dinner, bowling, and THEN go out (and send underage Bridesmaid or Best Man home at that point). Would it be cheaper to taxi home or rent a limo/town car/whatever than to rent a hotel room? Or even arrange with one of your SOs to come pick you guys up at the end of the night. I think there are a lot of ways to cut costs here. To answer your question, I think it’s nice when the BMs pay for the bride, but I don’t think it’s a requirement. Maybe don’t pick the nicest restaurant in town (but find something nicer than McDonald’s LOL!), see if each Bridesmaid or Best Man can agree to buy one drink each for the bride, I think you could make this work without breaking the bank, and without having two seperate nights.

Post # 6
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think since she’s dictating the activities, she should expect to pay for her share.It just seems against the spirit of the party for her to plan everything but then expect you all to pick up the whole tab.

If the bridesmaids decided on their own to throw a party for her, and the bridesmaids planned everything and had control over the event, then that would be different, and I wouldn’t expect the bride to pay anything.  

Post # 7
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I don’t get why she would be telling you how to organize a party for her… A bachelorette party is not an obligation, it’s something the friends of the bride organize if they want to, so her requesting two parties is just something I can’t understand.

So no, I wouldn’t foot the bill for two different parties. I would organize a nice bachelorette party, and if she wants to celebrate again after that, she can organize that herself.

Post # 8
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My friends paid for the majority of my b-party, and we went out to dinner/hotel room, but I certianly was buying rounds during the night for everyone.

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