(Closed) Is it wrong to ask your guest to wear Black?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Typically, in my area anyway, it’s usually overstepping a bit to tell other adults how to dress.  The exception of course being the wedding party, since you dictate their ‘uniform’.

Also, what if people show up in various shades of black? 

Post # 4
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s generally considered rude to tell grown guests what they can and cannot wear.

If I was told I had to wear a particular style/color/whatever, I probably wouldn’t go out of spite.

Post # 5
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

You should trust your guests to dress themselves.

It’s inconsiderate and presumptuous to micromanage their clothing choices. You’re kind of treating them like extras in a performance, who have to wear a costume to participate. (Besides which, black is traditionally more appropriate for a funeral than a wedding.)

That whole “it’s your day” mentality doesn’t justify this; as a hostess, you have a responsibility to show your guests a good time. Part of that is the courtesy of letting them choose their own clothes and colors.

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it’s a pretty ridiculous and controlling thing to ask people to wear black just for pictures. Your pictures will be awesome regardless. If you care so much, convert the pictures to black and white.

Even Kim Kardashian looked crazy for asking that of guests.

Post # 7
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

people have all white weddings all the time. It is your wedding so i feel you can set rules if youd like but prepare yourself for the peopel who wear whatever they want despite your request, and for peopel to not come at all.

Post # 8
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think it is rude or controlling. It’s a theme! There are parties “all white” “costume only” “black tie” etc all over the world for all sorts of occasions. Besides, everybody has something black, it’s not like you’re saying “not red, not black, not white, not blue, not plaid, and not gray”. 

I say go ahead and do it. It’s simple, really.

“Dress code: black!”

 

Anybody offended by this needs something more important to worry about 🙂

All black parties are totally a thing.

 

http://fashionbombdaily.com/2010/11/17/style-inspiration-what-to-wear-to-an-all-black-party/

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=dress+code+all+black&aq=f&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=xPICUa2kA4Se8QSj1IG4CQ&biw=1024&bih=476&sei=yvICUbv1Bon49gSSr4DoDA

Post # 9
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with jigga143 some may be offended, but at the end of the day it is your wedding!

.

Post # 11
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@jigga143:  All white weddings are not common in my area at all. I’ve never heard of one (except maybe celebrities?), and definitely not “all the time.” Where are you from?

OP, no, I would not ask everyone to wear black.

Post # 12
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

You can ask … I’m not sure how many will do it.  I don’t think it’s rude unless ontop of a gift they need to buy an outfit for your wedding.

Post # 13
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

@bebero:  “Everybody has something black”

Er…I dont!

Post # 14
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@MissBettsy:  Same. I have a little black dress but it is not wedding appropriate in the slightest.

Post # 15
Member
2708 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unfortunately, you cannot dictate what grown adults wear.  Many people would find it rude and controlling.  It can give the impression that they are just props to make your wedding look nice.  It’s one thing to have a Halloween party and invite guests to dress up, it’s another to ask them to wear a specific color because you want pictures to look a certain way.  You can spread via word of mouth that you think it would be fun if everyone wore black, but you cannot require it.  Plus you don’t want to pressure guests into buying a new outfit.

Also, what happens if not everyone wears black?  I think your pictures would look strange if 75% of people were in black and the rest weren’t.

Post # 16
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@NAvery:  

 It is not uncommon at all for people to have all white weddings. Not just in Michigan (to answer your “where are you from” question) but in many other places. Having a themed wedding is also very common. People ask their guest to dress in formal attire, beach attire, casual, costume, and I recently went to a Disney themed wedding. Themed weddings are becoming more common as people decided to steer away from the traditional idea of what a wedding is supposed to look like.

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